After the Time Rip
by goNxH
Summary: Actions have consequences. Regina knows this better than anyone, but how come it's always her that cleans up the mess?
1. Consequences

**Here's my take on what happens after the finale. I don't go along with the spoilers, since I found them entirely disappointing. I was hoping that OUAT wouldn't just take up the Disney's version of Frozen, but sadly they probably will. I was hoping for the original Snow Queen from Hans Christian Andersen, so I'm really dissapointed. If I wanted to watch Frozen, I would watch the Disney movie, so...**

**BTW: I'm not taking up Hans Christian Andersen, because I had a different thought stuck in my head, that didn't go with it :)**

**I don't own anything.**

* * *

**Consequences**

She could see the second in which Emma realized what she had done, the moment in which she understood the consequences of her actions. And as much as Regina loathed admitting it, she could also see the remorse in Emma's eyes. But in this very moment Regina cared little for the regret Emma was feeling. It didn't serve as very good comfort for Regina.

Emma on the other hand was still staring at Regina as she tried to come to grip with what she had done. Her vision was blank even though her eyes were still fixed on Regina. She had only been trying to do the right thing; never had she imagined that her actions would impact the present like that. Killian's voice kept ringing in her ear, kept warning her to leave the past in the past, not to change anything – but it was too late now. And to think she had been so proud to have found such a perfect solution, in which no one had to die. How could she have possibly known… She only wanted to save an innocent woman that was sentenced to death because she had helped her mother. She still didn't want the woman to have died, but the situation that presented itself was complicated und this time that was on her.

Regina blinked her eyes a few times to clear her vision and to make sure that no wetness resided in them. Her first instinct was to run, she glanced at the door, get out and don't look back. There was one thing stopping her. She was the Queen, Evil or not, she would not run… not anymore. She could always fight, lash out like she used to. Make use of her name, her title, the moniker given to her so long ago. A vision struck her, her holding Emma's heart, her pure, beating heart, in her hands and squeezing it, Emma falling to the floor, writhing in pain and Regina crushing it. She could feel the satisfaction; taste the victory on her tongue as it crumbled to ashes…

"_Bold and audacious perhaps, but not evil"_

She gritted her teeth, the path of vengeance and anger hadn't gotten her very far and she did share a son with the blonde woman, unfortunately as it may be. She had gotten too far, had proven herself too often for her son, proven that she could be more than a villain. _Apparently without much success, _she thought bitterly. For the universe, karma or whatever heroes called fate still viewed her as nothing but a villain. And villains didn't get happy endings.

Looking back, she really should have known, should have known better than to let herself believe she could actually be happy. It was too late for that now, she had believed and once again was proven too dark, too evil to deserve anything but suffering. There was only one way she could play this, that allowed her to at least keep her pride and dignity, because she had already lost her love and heart. Regina closed her dark eyes for only the fraction of a second, only to regain her composure. She searched deep inside of her for the mask she had managed to perfect over the decades, the one that Robin had seen through immediately and broken only a little later. She reinstructed her facial features to cold indifference and directed an emotionless smile at Emma.

Surprised by the sudden change on Regina's face and feeling dread at the rigidity of her expression, Emma opened her mouth, but no words escaped her, what could she possibly say.

"Please, Miss Swan. You didn't honestly believe that a meaningless affair with some common thief would shatter me. So believe me when I say, that there is no reason to worry, your pretty head will stay on your neck for now" Regina said dryly.

Again the blonde's mouth fell open as if to reply, but Regina did not give her that opportunity. She turned away from Emma, who was still taken by surprise and Regina's eyes fell on the form of her former teacher. With her head held perfectly high and all the regalness she could muster, she made her way to his table. Belle was with him, of course and… would you look at that! If the ring on her finger was any indication, the villains-don't-get-happy-endings-rule only applied to her.

"I presume that congratulations are in order" Regina gave them a mocking smile and sat down opposite of them uninvited.

"Very true, dearie, very true" Gold met her gaze with an equal scornful look. Belle gave Regina a suspicious look but kept quiet otherwise.

The former queen got serious and leaned over the table so that she was able to drop the volume of her voice.

"Tell me that this won't have some kind of unforeseen, horrible consequences" she prompted, even if the disquieting feeling in her stomach didn't just stem from her broken heart.

Gold shock his head slowly, from one side to another, however before he could voice his conclusion, he was interrupted by the beauty on his side, "Would someone be so kind as to fill me in on what's going on?"

"It would appear that Emma brought a little souvenir with her when she visited the past. She is the saviour after all, so leaving someone behind who once died in a past that had already happened was simply not acceptable. Personally I am surprised we're not met with a horde of people" scoffed Regina.

"Wait, you're saying Emma brought someone back from the past who was supposed to die there?" Belle looked at her stricken "but that… the consequences could be dire. We don't know what she possibly changed and…"

"Isn't that completely irrelevant? Whatever she changed, she already did it and it has already happened. Thus we are no longer able to comprehend what happened in the original time line" Regina shrugged. "What I want to know, for once is the price that needs to be paid for a life that's been saved from death" her eyes drilled holes into Gold's skull.

Said man sighed, "I'm afraid I can't answer that. This is not something that happened – ever. But I can tell you, that magic always comes at a price and someone is going to pay it".

Grimly Regina nodded, she had already figured out as much and for just a moment she wondered if the price of losing her happiness was not enough of a price to pay. But the time to feel sorry for herself was not here yet, later she would take the time to curse the world and ask useless questions. Questions related to Robin's words that kept replaying in her head.

"_Maybe it's all about timing. Sometimes things work out when they're supposed to"._

But now was not the time. Determined not to break down Regina shoved the thought in the back of her mind. She would never show weakness again, not in front of these people, they would never see her weak, never again. She could not think about him right now, not when every cell in her body was focused on not looking at the happy reunited family.

R&R

The turmoil of clashing feelings in his head that spread over his entire body was impossible to describe with words. Robin wasn't even sure he felt anything at all, his body almost felt numb from shock. He barely registered taking Marian in his arms and bestowing a kiss on her head. Everything felt like it was happening to someone else, like everything was beneath a fog and nothing but shock reached him. Robin couldn't even say he was happy, because he simply didn't understand, couldn't comprehend what was happening. Marian should be death, was dead, he knew it, had seen it, had been next to her body, he had cried over her, she was dead. He knew it… or did he? Nothing made sense any more. His arms felt limb to his side and it was only Marian's arm that kept their connection.

His senses united and they all showed him the same conclusion. Marian was here, alive and well and not just a product of his fantasy like it happened for some time after she died. He could smell her, touch her, he saw and heard her. Her bright and happy eyes beamed at him, his son was tucked away in her arms… _their son_, he reminded himself.

"Marian, I don't understand… How are you here? I… you…" Robin stopped; he wasn't even able to form a logic question. Then he remembered Emma Swan and what she said before about bringing someone back from the past. Of course… it was Marian she had brought back. He shook his head as he realized how long it had taken him to arrive at that obvious conclusion. Usually his quick wit and reaction was source of his pride.

"Everything here is so peculiar. I have no idea where I actually am" Marian let go of him and now used both hands to clutch desperately onto his - _their, dammit_- son, she shifted Roland slightly and brought the hand up to stroke over Robin's cheek. "I'm so glad to have found you again. I thought I'd never see you again".

He blinked a few times and swallowed dryly. How long did Marian think they were apart? She had died more than four years ago, not counting the nearly thirty years they had spent trapped in the curse. He had mourned her, deeply and desperately for a long time before he had allowed himself to live once again, before he allowed him to move on and he had…

Regina! The thought passed through him with a sudden cold. Where was Regina? His head almost rotated with the panic in which he tried to find her. So much for his quick wit and reaction.

What if she left the diner after the scene he made? What if she left him? What must she be thinking? Robin needed to talk to her, needed to talk to her now!

His eyes took in the Diner with the velocity and precision he had been missing the past few minutes. His knees almost gave in with relief when he found her sitting at a table, in the company of Belle and Rumpelstilstkin. She was still here!

Surely she must understand in what kind of situation he found himself and that he only needed a bit of time to get his mind together, she simply had to understand that he wanted to talk to her later.

"Robin, where are you going?"

It was only because of Marian's stunned question that Robin realized he had turned away from her and had already taken half a step towards the former queen. He opened his mouth in a hopeless attempt to explain to his wife why he had to talk to another woman. He turned to face her fully once again but before he was able to utter even a single word, did he see a movement where Regina sat out of the corner of his eyes, now that he knew where she was, at least one of his eyes would always be trained on her. He felt Marian grasp his arm hard and take a sharp breath, Roland was still pressed in her arm and he was starting to look uneasy with the woman holding him, who was a mere stranger for him.

R&R

The cold overtook her bones quite suddenly and she understood instinctively that this cold had nothing to do with the one that reign in her heart since Marian stepped into Robin's embrace. The powerful magic was almost painful as the wave hit her full force. Her eyes met Gold's equally troubled ones over the table and no more words were exchanged, as they were up and running out of the diner.

She let a dark purple cloud envelop her with a wave of her hand and before everyone's eyes her appearance changed to the one of the Evil Queen. Regina ignored the shocked and scared gasps and screams that surrounded her as she stepped out on the street. Half the diner was most likely following her but she had no sure way of knowing since she refused to turn her head away from the danger ahead. All she knew was that Gold was next to her. They had barely taken ten steps, when the cold and the frigid wind stole the breath from her lips. A small snow storm built up in front of them and Regina knew that whoever was inside was the source of the powerful magic she felt.

Anguish and panic pumped through Robin as he watched Regina and Rumpelstilstkin make their way out of the diner. Without thinking Robin stormed after them, shoving everyone out of the way that dared to stand in it and he didn't even realized that he dragged Marian and inevitably Roland with him. Marian's grip on his wrist only came to his mind as her nails scratched his skin and somehow he concluded that it was the form of the Evil Queen, who caused that scared reaction.

But his attention rested on Regina and the danger of her situation hit him hard and unexpected. His hand went to his quiver instantly and when he met only empty air Robin cursed internally at having left bow and arrows at Regina's.

And now she was in danger and he was unable to assist her, to protect her. He tried getting closer, at least close enough to hear what was going on but Marian shook so bad that Roland let out a tiny whimper and Robin would never expose his son to any danger. So he turned to stroke over his mop of curls reassuringly. But at any given moment was he aware of every single of Regina's movements and when he turned around again, Marian fisted his shirt at his back and hid behind him.

R&R

She was brilliantly beautiful, that much Regina could give her. And despite never having met the woman, she knew intuitively who it was that was standing in front of them. Gold and she understood what needed to be done and he stayed a few steps behind Regina. The light blonde woman in the blue dress stood unmoving even as the Evil Queen stepped into her personal space. In order to intimidate the woman Regina decided to get into the other woman's face. Nose to nose they stood. Funny how the most prominent thought in Regina's head was how she was grateful at having conjured her highest heels; otherwise she would have barely reached the other woman's chin. Even so it was still the Evil Queen who had to raise her head to meet icy blue eyes.

They painted a beautiful picture, beautiful but dangerous and deadly. The beautiful stranger with the fair hair and the Evil Queen, regal and elegant dressed all in black lace and leather. The contrast couldn't have been crasser, Snow White thought, as she watched the scene while holding her breath. She peeked over David's shoulder, which stood in front of her and Neal protectively, his gun drawn. When Regina stormed out of the diner and had converted into the Evil Queen a lot of people may have thought Regina reverted into her Enchanted Forest persona, Snow was not one of those people. She prided herself in knowing Regina better than that and so Snow knew something must have happened, something that caused Regina to feel the need to use her old self to appear stronger. Emma had told them about Marian and Snow had felt deep sorrow for her step-mother. For her it must be like history repeating itself and her first thought was to go to her, but when her eyes fell on the older woman, she was surprised to see that Regina seemed perfectly fine. Next she had searched for Robin and she saw just the moment when he looked for Regina and she'd seen how relieved and grateful he had been at seeing Regina still there. And Snow just knew that everything would turn out just fine. Only now things didn't look so bright.

The two powerful sorceresses measured each other up and down; all the while the snow fell heavier around them. Snow had a strong hunch who they were dealing with, even if she hadn't had an idea that the Snow Queen actually existed. And of course now it made sense that Regina took on the appearance of the Evil Queen. Regina had adapted to match whatever power she felt out there, clearly the Evil Queen was a lot more intimidating than _Regina Mills – Mayor of Storybrooke. _The Snow Queen on the other hand seemed completely unmoved and indifferent, her eyes were void of anything as she talked to Regina but Snow was unable to make out what they were saying due to the howling of the wind. The complete apathy scared Snow more than Regina ever did; the Evil Queen was temperamental, expressive, led by emotions. Her hatred had been horrible but her love was equally as fierce and with Regina Snow had always known where they stood. She really wished she could hear the conversation between the Queens.

"I am not here for you" the voice of the beautiful blonde was soft but emotionless and Regina suppressed the shiver that ran down her back.

"I don't care why you're here. As you can see, this town already has a Queen. Your being here is redundant" Regina bit out, her teeth clenched.

Cold, indifferent blue eyes met angry glistening ones in rich brown and Regina was flooded with relief. She wanted to keep the attention of the Snow Queen on herself; she would not let that sorceress anywhere near the inhabitants of her town.

The unknown Lady stepped back and tilted her head to the side, "Nothing shall stop me. I will find what I'm looking for. I am however not a danger, once I have what I need I shall leave the town. I do not want to cause chaos and destruction; therefore I shall grant you a week to bring to me, what I'm searching for."

Regina pressed her lips together hart "And what, pray tell, would that be?" she spew out.

"I'm looking for her, who can see the future. Her that stands in the way of fate" was the cryptic answer Regina received.

Regina had no clue, what she meant but she didn't let her bewilderment show, instead she watched the Snow Queen leave with calculating eyes, tension high until there was nothing left but snow.

"Did you hear that?" Regina turned around.

"In case you think I know her or that I have even the slightest idea what she was talking about, or what she wants, you'll be disappointed to hear that I do not, dearie" Gold answered the question she hadn't asked, but still needed answered.

Gold allowed his gaze to sweep over the crowd and found himself immensely relieved at seeing Belle standing next to Ruby. Her safety was his top priority.

"Who the hell was that?" chipped Emma in from the side and the volume of her voice startled Regina from her deep thoughts.

"You're asking the wrong questions, Miss Swan" said Regina. "Even for you, the identity of her should not be too much of a challenge".

"Really? The Snow Queen? Of course she exists as well… why am I even surprised?" exclaimed the daughter of Snow White and Prince Charming, with her arms thrown up in the air.

The Evil Queen simply rolled her eyes.

"And what did you do to her? I mean she must have wanted something" Emma looked at Regina accusingly. The Queen didn't need to look at anyone else to understand that Emma's assumption was shared largely amongst the townsfolk.

"It might be hard for you to understand and I am deeply saddened to disappoint your low expectations in me. However I'm inclined to inform you that I have never met the Snow Queen before. Neither do I know what she's doing here or how her sudden arrival has come to pass" her eyes kept on the blonde Regina gave her the most conceited look.

Emma grimaced, she understood that her choice of words had been less than optimal; she hadn't really wanted to blame Regina. Leaving Hook's side Emma stepped closer to Regina, "Sorry Regina, tough you have to admit it was a logical guess. Anyway, what does she want here?"

"You're still asking the wrong questions, Miss Swan".

It was Emma's turn to roll her eyes, "And would you be so kind as to let us know the right question?"

"The question, we need to ask, Miss Swan, is why she didn't take what she wanted" explained Regina pensively. Somehow it didn't make any sense, at least not to her.

"Maybe she didn't want to anger the Evil Queen" suggested David, who kept his protective position in front of his wife and son.

Regina exchanged a glance with Gold, who grimaced painfully, "The problem, dearie, is that neither I nor Regina would have been able to stop her. Her magic is more powerful than anything we have encountered so far. If the Snow Queen would have wanted, we'd be nothing but insects to be crushed."

Belle gasped and stalked over to her husband.

"Wait a second. Are you telling me, that you just provoked the Snow Queen, knowing that she could kill you?" Robin shook the iron grip of his wife off of him. His blue eyes sparkled with anger and a hint of worry as he took a few steps forward. He did not want to believe what he had just heard, if it had been Regina's plan to stop his heart from beating, then she had just succeeded. She had put herself in harm's way, deadly harm, knowingly and on purpose and Robin wanted to throttle her for it. He wanted to take her and shake some sense into her, but more than that he wanted to take her and hide her away, keep her in his arms and personally make sure that she was fine. Didn't she understand what she was doing to him? What it would do to him, if something were to happen to her?

She levelled his gaze with one of her own, cold, untouchable and a tad annoyed. Her mask of indifference firmly in place and seeing that guarded expression that kept him from seeing _her, Regina, _hurt worse than he thought.

"I fail to see how this is any of your business, Sir of Locksley" her answer stopped him short.

It was like she had hit him straight in the face and he looked at her aghast. It was as if the past weeks hadn't happened and with sudden clarity Robin understood that Regina hadn't stayed in the Diner to wait for him to find his wits, much less because she thought he'd still want their relationship. She had only stayed so she wouldn't lose her face, to protect herself. Like she always did… like she always had to. And perhaps that was what hurt the most, she had felt it necessary to protect herself – because of him.

Just as bad was the way she looked at him now and the tone she used to talk to him, cold and uncaring. Almost like they were back in the Enchanted Forest when they didn't get along very well. "Rocky" had been a bit of an understatement. The first time she had ever called him by his name had been here in Storybrooke, before that it was "Thief" or "Outlaw", but even those names – originally intended as insults – had changed their meaning into something almost like a term of endearment over the past weeks. But she had never called him by his title; such formality put a distance between them that gave Robin the feeling of impotence. He couldn't move a muscle.

"What are we going to do?" Snow stepped up from behind her husband looking deeply worried.

Regina's heart clenched painfully in her chest as she turned to face the young mother. Snow gripped her son hard to her body, her gentle eyes filled with fear and Regina swore to herself that she would do anything in her power to protect this child and her step-daughter. She had taken her first child but she had protected her second one from Zelena, this would not be in vain.

She sighed when she felt everyone's gaze resting on her, waiting for her to say something. Not even one minute ago the whole town had held her responsible for the likely upcoming disaster and now they expected a solution from her. Her face contorted into a grimace "Perhaps the Saviour has got a plan she'd like to share. I, for one, am going to find out everything there is to know about the Snow Queen".

The crowd divided when Regina, still dressed as the Evil Queen strode purposefully and looking every bit the Queen she was towards her house. Robin stood still unmoving and she brushed him, because she was the Queen and she would not deviate from her way for some common thief. The mask, completely in place didn't slip even when his scent enveloped her.

The contact however caused Robin to snap out of his rigour and before he could utter a single word, he felt the shaking form of his wife searching solace at his side looking at him with big eyes filled with fear. He hesitated; shooting a longing glance in the direction Regina had just disappeared, then he turn to his wife and brought her and his son back into the Diner.

R&R

Robin cursed under his breath as he fought through the snow. He had planned to talk to Regina much earlier, but Marian had clutched at him and Roland and he'd barely been able to calm her down. He couldn't blame her after what she had been through. Especially because he learned that Regina was the one that executed her – something that made no sense to him. But he'd need to resolve that later.

Robin left as soon as Marian's breathing evened out and he was sure she was asleep. They had decided to stay at Granny's and transferred the Merry Men as well; the weather was just too cold to stay in the woods. Robin had talked to Marian and told her that they should wait till morning to let the Men know about her. He wasn't sure how to explain the situation. No doubt the Merry Men would be delighted to have Marian back. His relationship with Regina had been nothing to crow about for his men, tough they restrained from mentioning anything to him directly.

"Ow!" Robin held his nose in pain. He had walked against an invisible wall and he didn't need much imagination to figure out where it came from, considering it was barely too feet from Regina's porch.

Robin sighed, she certainly didn't make it easy on him, but if it came down to it he could be just as stubborn as her. So he went around the house and got as close as the barrier allowed underneath her window. And then he started yelling at Regina to open up and let him in. It took a good ten minutes of non-stop shouting but then Regina opened her window.

"What do you think you're doing? You're going to wake the whole neighborhood" she hissed down from above.

Robin couldn't stop the grin at the sight of her infuriated face. "Regina, we need to talk and personally I would prefer we converse inside. But if you insist…"

"Now you will listen to me, Sir of Locksley. I have no idea how in all the heavens you could get the conclusion that there is anything we need to talk about, but I will under no circumstances allow you in my house in the middle of the night" Regina was tired and angry and all her energy went into supressing her pain at seeing him. She had a pretty good idea what he was here for and whether it was the 'how-could-you-kill-my-wife' or the 'I'm-leaving-you' talk, she could not sit through either of them. And she was hurt – so hurt and in pain and she wanted to hurt him, wanted him to feel a fraction of the pain, she was going through. "In case this is about the past few weeks there is no reason to fret. I will not breathe a word of our meaningless little fling to anyone and now I would advise you to go back to your family".

"Regina, you can't be serious. We both know that whatever we had was not a simple fling. You have to understand how hard this is for me. I still have no idea how this could have happened and I don't know what I'm supposed to do" he ran his fingers through his hairs frustrated. "I can't turn of my feelings for you."

"Feelings?" Regina laughed but even to her own ears it sounded hollow. "You don't seriously believe that I felt anything at all for you. You were a mean to warm my bed at night and not to worry I will find someone for that position again. And just for your information it is Your Majesty or Madam Mayor for you. Now leave!" she slammed the window shut.

He knew her words weren't true, he knew that. He knew it, he knew this was her way to protect herself but even so, the pain her words caused were very real. And he didn't know what hurt the worst, that she said it, that she felt the need to protect herself from him and pretend what they had meant nothing, that she wished what she had just told him was how she truly felt or that he knew her window would not open again tonight – no matter how long he stayed.

R&R

She felt on the hard floor ungraciously and pressed her head against the wall. Regina's entire body shook and a heart-breaking sob escaped past her lips. In front of others it was easy to pretend, to hide behind the mask, the guise that kept everyone at a safe distance. And her appearance as the Evil Queen was her armour, helping and supporting her, protecting her from others. But right now, when she was all alone - lonely - and the house was cold and empty, she broke. She didn't even allow herself the comfort of her son; she couldn't be weak in front of her child. He shouldn't see her like that, it wasn't his duty to take care of her, she was his mother, she should be the one taking care of him.

Seeing Robin in front of her house – it felt like a thousand needles in her heart. What was he doing here? He should be with his perfect little family? With his lovely, beautiful, innocent wife, who was everything Regina wasn't and would never be. With the woman he'd go through hell for.

Regina's vision went dangerously black, she didn't manage to breathe through the pain, drew some hasty gasps of air. Propped up on her knees and hands she leaned to the floor and forced her breathing to stabilize. Once she quit trying to hold the tears at bay it got easier to inhale and exhale.

It was unfair, so very unfair. Because she had tried, she had tried to be good. She fought the darkness and the anger and the hatred, the pain and most of all the guilt, every single day. She smiled bitterly and it looked more like a sneer than anything else. She was a damned liar and she knew it, she deserved every single bit of misery coming her way. Nothing that happened tonight had been unfair, she got what she deserved and so did Robin. The thing she hadn't deserved was the past weeks and the happiness she had felt at being with him. And he … Robin got his second chance with his true love. He was a good man and deserved all the luck and all the happiness this world had to offer. His son… sweet, cute, happy Roland had gotten his mother back and it wouldn't be long and the small boy would have forgotten all about the short chapter with her in it.

But tonight… she was done for tonight, and couldn't bear any more. She wouldn't survive hearing Robin say, that he was sorry, that she was his wife and what other empty phrases came to his mind. Her mask would break if she heard him say it was over. And she didn't need him to, she already knew that was what he came for, already knew that was how it would end, had known from the second she heard him call Marian's name in the diner.

Using the wall as support she brought herself up, even if her legs were shaking. Sleep would evade her that much she knew, so she might as well look at some books referring to the Snow Queen.

R&R

"We can't catch a break it seems" Emma sighed and took the cup of tea from her mother with a grateful nod. Neal had finally fallen asleep, after Henry read to him from the Fairy tale book.

Initially Henry had wanted to go to Regina's but her magic wall had prevented them from reaching even the porch. Henry had begged her to use her magic to let him through the wall, he had even yelled at her and blamed her for making his mom miserable, but Emma had stayed unwavering. If Regina wanted to deal with this alone for tonight, the least she could do was to give her this, after she had messed up so bad. Emma even had to stay strong as her own mother joined Henry in his attempts to get her to use her magic, Snow had been adamant about not leaving Regina on her own, but Emma had told them to respect Regina's wishes. If by tomorrow Regina still refused company Emma would take down the barrier, but not before that.

"Well, it could be worse" next to her Killian yawned and threw his arm over her shoulders. Expertly he avoided the harsh glare David sent him at the motion.

"What do you mean?" Snow joined David on the other side of the couch and their hands intervened like magnets.

"We do have a whole week, to find out what going on, at least according to the crocodile. And up until now the Snow Queen didn't attack anyone, despite being able to do so" the pirate shrugged.

Charming nodded and the look he shared with his wife didn't escape Emma's notice. "Don't tell me you think, that her sudden appearance is linked to our travel to the past?"

Her father shifted nervously on the couch, "Well, the thought did cross our minds; the timing was indicating a connection, but…"

"So this mess is entirely my fault?" Emma exploded and stood abruptly.

"That's not what we're saying, Emma. But no one had ever seen the Snow Queen prior of today's events. And she did show up shortly after you returned" Snow tried to defuse the situation.

But it was already too late for that. Emma ripped the door open and stormed out of the flat. Snow sighed and gave David a stern look.

Hook looked at both of them with an apologetic look, and then he took after Emma.

"Wait! Emma!" he hurried to catch up with Emma's angry strides „Swan! Stop!"

When he managed to get hold of her arm, she finally actually stopped but shook off his hand on her, "What? Came to tell me, you think it's my fault as well?"

"Look Swan, up until now nothing even happened" he stepped closer to her and softly swept on of her blonde strands from her face "nobody said it was your fault. But it is possible, that the both of us" he empathized "brought something back from the past. We have been to Rumpelstilstkin's secret chamber after all."

Emma melted into him, she closed her eyes and just enjoyed the safety her boyfriend provided.

"But if this is because of that woman you saved, that's on you" he smirked.

Emma's eyes shot open and she shoved him back hard. Killian did stumble back a few steps, "Just kidding. – Swan?! Too early?" he called after her, before he once again found himself jogging after her and once again vowed to himself, that one day he'd stop running after her.

* * *

**So let me know what you think.**


	2. The Story of Robin Hood

**First off: Thanks to everyone who read the first chapter!**

**at Guest1: No it does not make you terrible, but you might be suprise about the price :) Thanks I tried to imagine how Regina would react because honestly the spoilers of her reaction did not convince me. Ah, I don't want to spoiler you about who the Snow Queen is looking for, but I am aiming for a suprise (hopefully). About how Marian died... Read the chapter**

**at theEvilPandaa: Don't worry I will! The story is finished in my native language I just need to translate it.**

**at Guest2: I love the Evil Queen as well. Her clothes had way more style than Regina :)**

**at Anny Rodrigues: Pretty fast, huh? Thanks for reviewing.**

**at Guest3: Thank you and I will :)**

**I'm already sorry about this chapter.**

**I don't own anything!**

* * *

**The Story of Robin Hood**

Enchanted Forest – 6 years before the first Dark Curse

"There you are Robin! We thought the guards captured you after all" the voice of Little John was laced with relief as he caught sight of the leader of their group walking through the trees.

Robin looked like he had cut it rather close this time. Above his brow was an ugly deep wound and one of his eyes was swollen. Despite his appearance Robin sported a huge grin.

"Don't be ridiculous, John. I threw off the guards two kilometres ago, unfortunately I was not so lucky with the sheriff. So I had to take a little detour. "

For the past two years, Robin and the group that called themselves the Merry Men, had made a name for themselves around the land. Initially they had been soldiers for the army of King Richard, the Lion Heart and after his passing, Prince John's. For as long as he could remember Robin had simply followed orders, he'd even been named a royal knight, leader of his own division. But while Robin had genuinely respected King Richard, the same could not be said for his son. One day an argument escalated and Robin had turned his back on the life of a soldier. He had been named wanted by Prince John and so Robin had no other choice but to live the life of an outlaw. The next few years were spent robbing, burning down houses and stealing. Robin would like to say he had always had an honourable goal but such was not true.

Honour, Robin had spent many hours pondering the term. The day he had left the army he had officially lost his honour, however looking back at the things he'd done while being a soldier, he was not sure, the expression applied to who he was at that time. Only after meeting Little John, a little more than two years ago had Robin felt something like real pride about what he was doing, stealing from the rich to give to the poor. That was something he could believe in, honour or not.

"Nottingham?" Friar Tuck took him aside to get a better look at his wound and clean the cut.

Robin nodded grimly, nothing and no one was able to make his blood boil quite as much as the Sheriff of Nottingham. Once they had served together, never getting along well, but still treating each other civilly while they used to fight next to each other. After leaving the army, laden with decorations of course, Nottingham had taken over his father's job as the sheriff. It wasn't far from where the Merry Men had decided to make camp. And it was such a pretty camp too. Robin wasn't willing to leave it behind, especially since it was close to where he grew up, unless it was compromised they would stay mainly here. That was not to say they didn't have other refuges. But stealing from the sheriff was definitely the most fun.

"Good news I just…" the young man who had just stormed happily through the woods stopped abruptly and stared at Robin. "That doesn't look too good, mate."

"Thanks, how very helpful" told Robin him dryly. "So, tell me what good new you want to bestow upon us."

"Ah, yes, right. I was just talking with one of our contacts and it would appear that the Sheriff awaits a precious cargo, in two days."

"Why do you assume it's worth something?" John sat down next to Robin and patted his back in sympathy. Robin winced at the contact and John gave him and apologetic look.

"Well, the sheriff ordered the carriage to take a detour, so that it wouldn't pass our favoured hunting paths. And he doubled the guards accompanying the carriage" the man grinned proudly at the intel.

Robin whistled lowly, "Now if that doesn't sound like fun, then I don't know what does. I bet with the gold in the carriage we could probably feed a town for a whole month."

The young man nodded with enthusiasm, "Shall I keep my ears and eyes open for further information? I mean, only if you're up for it, Robin." The man eyed his leader's condition sceptically.

"Don't you worry about me" Robin laughed. "Go find out the path this carriage will take. – And we, my men, we have an ambush to plan" his eyes shone with mirth.

RH

Robin bent his bow nervously, the plan was solid no doubt, but there was still a certain risk to it. And today they would be face with twice as many guards as usual. Still he couldn't hold back the mischievous smirk as he watched the two guards that were last in the row getting hurled out of their saddles and being replaced by two of his men. They really were the best. He watched the carriage draw closer and then the second trap sprung and everything had to happen fast after that. If he hadn't been busy shooting one arrow after the other, he would certainly have enjoyed the stunned expression on the first two guards' faces as they - along with their horses - disappeared in the deep trench, they had excavated. The ditch had been previously covered in leaves, courtesy of the Merry Men.

After having shot the very last of his arrows, Robin joined his men in the fight and left the safe haven in the trees. It wasn't long and the last ring of sword hitting sword had faded. Quickly Robin looked around for his men. To his great relief he didn't see any of them amongst the dead, two of his men were hurt but the wounds were hardly deadly. Robin breathed easier at that.

He chafed his hands and stepped to the carriage, "Now, let's see, which treasures the Sheriff was trying to hide from us."

Robin had barely opened the door when he hit the ground hard and found himself looking at the blue sky astounded, the blade of a knife digging into his throat. He registered his men draw their bows and duly noted that perhaps there had been another guard inside the carriage. But when his eyes fell on the face of his attacker, Robin could barely believe his eyes. He stared in the face of a young woman. Her skin was the colour of chocolate and her hair fell in soft waves.

"Whatever it is you want I shall not hand it over without a fight" she spit out and Robin grinned up at her cheekily.

"You misunderstand our intentions, Milady" with one swift motion he grabbed her hand and rolled them over. Quickly he got to his feet and offered her his hand, the knife safely tucked in his other.

She glared up at him with fury in her eyes.

"We have no intention of harming you, you have my word. All we're interested in is the treasure in the carriage."

Her eyes wandered from his face to his hand and grudgingly she allowed him to help her on her feet, "If it's gold or the like you are after, so I'm afraid you'll be disappointed. Save for me, the carriage is empty."

Robin's blue eyes widen and he twirled around to the carriage to ensure she was indeed telling the truth. It wasn't long and Robin stalked back to where she waited with a smug smile.

"What in the world is going on here? Why would Nottingham try so hard to protect a carriage that holds nothing but one woman?"

The young woman seemed offended by this, "Maybe he simply wanted to make sure his _fiancée _gets to him unharmed!"

"His… WHAT?" to say Robin was shocked was not nearly adequate to describe what he was thinking. No doubt the woman was pretty, beautiful even, but the Sheriff was not someone to make an honourable wife of a woman.

Hurt she looked up at him, "Is it so hard to believe?"

"Well, Nottingham isn't exactly…" Robin trailed off not sure how he wanted to finish that sentence. "And you truly want to marry him?"

The woman stiffed, "Well,… I don't see why not. He is the Sheriff and his reputation is remarkable and…"

"You've never met him, have you?" Robin looked at her sceptically.

"So what?" she snapped back. "At least he isn't a thief, robbing helpless women."

"First of all, Milady, we didn't know you'd be in the carriage and second of all…" he gave her back her knife "…I'd hardly say you're helpless."

He smirked as she took the weapon carefully from his hand and hid it in the pockets of her skirts. "Robin of Locksley. Please forgive my discourtesy. My men and I shall take you to your _fiancé_."

"And precisely what makes you think I'd trust you? You've just tried to rob me!"

"You have my word and that of my men. As long as you're with us, you shall be treated as our guest and no harm shall befall you," Robin looked at his Merry Men. They had lowered their weapons and agreed with him wholeheartedly.

"And, if I may ask, with whom do I have the pleasure of speaking?"

"Marian… My name is Marian."

RH

True to his word, Robin and the Merry Men had safely accompanied Marian to the town, mindful of avoiding the Sheriff of course. But even after two weeks had passed, Robin had trouble believing Nottingham would take a wife, no matter how beautiful she might be.

He was on his way to examine the traps west of their camp. Years of staying in the woods had made him stealthy; almost no sound was heard as he made his way through the woods. A quite whimper pricked at his ears and he followed the noise. He was thunderstruck when he found the source of the crying to be none other than the young woman he had just left in the safety of the town a little more than two weeks ago. She must have wandered quite far for her to appear on his trail.

She had her back to him and apart from the whimper, the shaking shoulders were the second indication that she was indeed crying. Robin sighed mentally and he considered simply retreating and pretending he hadn't seen her, crying women weren't exactly his area and they made him highly uncomfortable. But he couldn't leave her behind, especially not like this.

"Lady Marian?"

Marian spun around and wiped off her tears quickly, "You? What are you doing here? Once again I must disappoint you; I don't have any gold with me right now."

"I didn't plan to steal from you" he stepped a bit closer. "Are you alright, Lady Marian?"

A look of sadness crossed her face but she smiled bravely, "Of course, thank you for asking. How are you and your men? How's… business?"

Robin laughed loudly, "We have no reason to complain."

"How nice" she hunched her shoulder and Robin realized that she was probably a bit cold. The air outside the forest, where she no doubt came from, was quite a bit warmer than inside, where the sunlight barely managed to find a way through the thick leaf canopy.

"Lady Marian, I don't mean to pry, but… Don't you like Sherwood or is there another reason you're crying your eyes out in the middle of the forest?"

"I… this is none of your business!" she stepped back.

"Forgive me, I thought maybe you'd like to talk."

Robin watched intently as her eyes descended to her wrist and the fingers of her other hand carefully tugged at her long sleeve and he also watched as her face contorted in pain for a brief moment. His eyes narrowed.

"Thank you very much, but no thank you" it appeared for Marian their conversation was over.

He stepped closer to her and to his surprise she didn't step back this time; however her eyes were wide open, with a hint of fear in them. And Robin could not forbear to compare this woman to the temperamental one he met a mere two weeks ago. He frowned and reached his hand out in anticipation. Marian didn't understand what he wanted from her, but then his eyes fell on her wrist. She shrank back but Robin was faster. Carefully he grabbed her arm and rolled up the sleeve. Anger settled in his stomach as he took in the clear print of five fingers on her wrist.

"Nottingham" he growled out, his teeth clenched.

"It's nothing" Marian pulled her hand away and looked unsure at Robin.

"It most certainly is not nothing!" he refuted vigorously.

"It most certainly is not something that concerns you" replied Marian and brushed past him to go back to the town.

He watched her leave and she had almost disappeared from view when he asked the one question that he had wanted to ask for two weeks. "Why do you want to marry him?"

She hesitated and looked over her shoulder wistfully, "It's not like a have a choice in the matter."

And Robin gazed after her long after she had disappeared in the shadows of the woods.

RH

In the end neither of the two was sure how it had come to pass. There had been no agreement, no arrangement, but still the outlaw and the fiancée of the sheriff met in the woods time and time again during the next month. It was probably because they were looking for one another, searching for each other with their eyes, Robin thought.

Whenever he thought about Marian marrying Nottingham, he felt like punching someone in the face… preferably the Sheriff. It was a mere two days until the ceremony and nausea plagued him when he thought about it. Marian was funny and loving, intelligent and adventurous and beautiful. He even started to bring her around to the camp of the Merry Men. They adored her.

If one of their talks so much as hinted to the imminent wedding, then a shadow fell on Marian's face and Robin's heart clenched. She didn't want to marry the Sheriff and more often than not Robin found himself close to wanting to beg her not to go back to Sherwood. But a little voice in his head stopped him from voicing his wishes. Marian wasn't used to life in the woods, he couldn't make her a wanted woman, a criminal, she deserved better than that.

And that's how it came to be that Robin gazed into space at the morning of the wedding. His hands clenched and unclenched without finding a rhythm. He couldn't just let her go, couldn't lose her, but if she was with him, she'd no longer be a member of society; she'd be a criminal, hunted even. _But she'd be happy, _a voice whispered to him, _happy and safe! _But could he be sure of that, what if she wasn't happy? What if she did not feel the same way about him? What if life with him would make her unhappy? _And she'd be happy with Nottingham? Safe with Nottingham?_

Abruptly Robin stood, enough was enough. He had to give it a try in the very least, if he wouldn't he'd regret it for the rest of his life.

"Men!" his voice was loud enough for the whole camp to hear. Some even stepped closer to hear what he had to say. "I think it's about time, we show the Sheriff what we're able to do." He grinned widely, "Men, we have a wedding to prevent!"

Loud cheering was his answer and his grin widen even further.

RH

"I can't believe you hit the Sheriff in the face" Robin almost collapsed with laugher. Together they stumbled thought the forest towards the camp.

"And I can't believe you stole me away from the altar! The altar, Robin! I was literally standing in front of the altar!" Marian hit him on the arm with her fist. "What took you so long?"

His laughter faded and he stepped closer to her. Softly he swept her dark tresses behind her ear, "Forgive me, Marian."

Her deep, dark eyes looked at him and she smiled shyly, "Well, considering it was pretty romantic I do think I can forgive you."

"Good" his voice got rougher and he lowered his head. Without hesitation Marian reciprocated the kiss and any and all doubts regarding her feelings for him vanished in thin air.

"Now I did steall something from you after all. But since I stole one wedding from you, I'd think it's only fair, I offer you another one" he whispered in her ear.

Her eyes widen, "Robin, are you asking…"

He simply smirked and she threw her arms around him, "Yes, yes, a thousand times yes!"

"Now then, we're going to have to talk to Tuck" Robin twirled her around once and hand in hand they took off in search for the friar.

RH

The Enchanted Forest – 3 years before the first Dark Curse

"Marian! Marian!" Desperation clawed at Robin, when his wife refused to open her eyes.

It was supposed to be a simple job, into the castle and right back out. They had done this a hundred times before. Marian was only supposed to stand guard, but something had gone wrong. He should have stayed strong, should have insisted she'd stay at the camp, with their son. Roland had not even seen a year! He could not lose his mother like that. Robin could not lose his wife like that. They were supposed to grow old together.

"Marian please!" he begged of her, knowing it was in vain. Her blood soaked his clothes and Robin couldn't breathe. Through the curtain of his tears he saw nothing but her unmoving face.

"Marian, Roland needs you… I need you. Please open your eyes, please!" there was no pulse, no heartbeat, not breath – it was too late but Robin couldn't accept this as he kneeled next to the lifeless body of his wife.

The sound of battle seemed far away, though he knew that wasn't true.

"Robin!" John's voice made him look up. „We need to get out of here! Now!"

„I can't" his voice was barely above a whisper, his eyes still fixed on his wife.

"Robin, your son cannot lose his father as well. We have to get out!"

It was the mention of his son, the precious thing his wife left behind, that snapped Robin out of his lethargy. He took Marian in his arms and tried to ignore how her head rolled limply over his arm.

"Robin…" Little John looked at him with pain filled eyes, full of empathy and pity. "We can't take her with us. The only way out right now it the window and…"

"NO!" Robin roared at him. „I will not leave her here." Only he knew there was no other choice, but he could not accept it.

"Robin please, it's going to be hard enough to get the injured out of here. We…" John gulped. "Robin please!"

He grimaced in pain as he tried to comfort his best friend by putting an arm on his shoulder. And it was only now that Robin realized that the blood on John's shirt was leaking out from a wound in his shoulder. John had been hit.

Carefully Robin draped Marian on the floor, he pressed one last kiss to her forehead before turning away from her with a heavy heart. At the window he turned around once more to cast one last look at the woman he loved more than anything.

RH

* * *

**I know, I know, no Regina/Robin in this one. Don't be disappointed! You'll see more of Regina and Robin, but this is important background information.**

**Tell me what you think anyway!  
**


	3. Winter

**Sorry, about the last chapter, hope this one's a little bit better.**

**at Anny Rodrigues: I know what you mean :) Thanks anyway.**

**I don't own anything.**

* * *

**Winter**

Storybrooke – Present

The only thing keeping Regina from breaking down, was that she at least had something to do. A goal she could invest all her energy in. The days after Marian's return were spent either at her house or in her vault systematically gathering all the information she could find on the Snow Queen. So far the result was sobering. She read through every book she could think off, and even the ones that didn't have any indications about holding information about the Snow Queen. Her eyes were burning from reading in the dim light of her vault, protesting about being overused and denied the rest in peaceful sleep. She couldn't sleep, hadn't ever since the night in the Diner, she hadn't eaten either, even the thought of food made her nauseous. But Regina refused to admit that the way she treated herself was weakening her. It was hard to tell by simply looking at her, Regina took great care of making everyone believe she was just fine. God knows what Snow would do if she found out about it. So Regina made sure her make-up hid the bags under her eyes and the temperatures had dropped so low, Regina found it easy to hide her heavy weight-loss under thick clothes.

Of course she knew, that she couldn't keep this up forever, it was self-destructive, but really she didn't care about her health. It wasn't like anyone else did either. The vibration of her mobile made Regina look up from the narrowly scribbled words of the book she was currently reading.

'_Gold and Belle found something'_ she read off the screen. Regina rose sluggish and her knees almost gave in. Having sat motionless on the ground next to the bookshelf in her vault had made her both cold and sore. Slowly but surely she made her way out and drove to Gold's shop.

She wanted to around and leave the second she set foot in Gold's store. Aside from the two idiots and their saviour daughter, there was Gold and Belle and of course Robin with his fair lady and wife. What she was doing here, Regina didn't know. She bit her tongue hard at seeing the fearful look in the young woman's eyes. From the way Emma talked to her in Diner Regina already knew that she had done something to her, most likely executed her, but hearing Emma explain it yesterday made it all the more real. And wasn't it just perfect? At least she didn't have to waste a single thought on the thief anymore. He'd surely hate her by now – no thought wasted on him but the ones about him and his Merry Men plotting her death that was.

She avoided even looking in the direction he was standing and concentrated on the bookworm instead. Before Regina could open her mouth however, Emma asked her if she had found anything.

Regina shook her head, „No luck so far, but do not worry the minute I do I will immediately call you, oh great saviour. Now, what have you found?"

Belle sighed, "Unfortunately we have found two stories about the Snow Queen, which are completely different. We thought maybe if you found something we could figure which one was closer to the truth."

Impatiently Regina motioned for her to continue.

"In the library I found the story of a kingdom called Arendelle. According to the book, the Ice Queen was their ruler. She was born with her powers but unable to control them. She accidently hit her sister with her magic, but they were able to save her and, following her parent's wishes, the Queen then hid her powers from the world. At some point she froze the entire kingdom and exiled herself. Her sister brought her back, but the Ice Queen inadvertently hit her again, freezing her heart this time. But an act of true love…"

Here Regina snorted disdainful, of course it was that crap about true love again.

"…can thaw a frozen heart and her sister was saved. The story goes on and even tells of the death of the Ice Queen. I don't know if it's the same person who came to Storybrooke."

Regina nodded and turned to Gold, honestly she was more hopeful about his discovery than Belle's.

Gold met her gaze and took it as his cue to start telling his story, "I found another story about the Snow Queen in one of my books. It is said that the devil forged a mirror, which reverses everything into his opposite, beautiful became ugly and good became evil. One day the mirror broke and the splinters spread over the world. A young boy, who had one splinter in his eye and another one in his heart, was captured by the Snow Queen and taken to her castle of ice. A friend of the young boy searched high and low for him and when she did find him he was already almost completely black from the cold. He was trying to form the word 'Eternity' with blocks of eyes, because the Snow Queen promised she'd let him go should he succeed. But the splinter in his eye prevented him from doing so. The girl cried for him and the word appears before them. When they reach their home, they have become adults. – However the tale contains barely any information about the Snow Queen herself," Rumpelstilstkin ended with a frown.

Regina stared at the both of them in disbelief, "This is it? That's why you brought me here? This is less than what I found, and I found nothing. A sweet children Disney story about two sisters and a story without any relevant information about what we're looking for. What a waste of my time! I should have stayed where I was. At least I still have some books left."

"We could look through them together?" Snow proposed hopefully.

Regina gave her a disgusted look, how was it possible for that woman to look at her with such eyes after all she did to her?

Robin had stayed quiet until now, but he agreed with Snow White loudly on this. Regina avoided his face at all costs and focused on the way Marina's hand had gripped Robin's upper arm. As if she'd wanted to hold him back, Regina thought bitterly, as if there was anyone who'd pick her, if there was any other choice. Not just any choice at that, but his first and only true love, the mother of his son and his wife, pure, lovely and gorgeous. Not tainted and broken like herself. Well, wasn't this a nice dose of reality for her?

Regina put them off, "Thanks, but I am quite able to handle it myself. Shouldn't take more than another day."

Regina was less than half a step from closing that forsaken door behind her, when Snow's voice stopped her, "Regina, how about catching a small break and eating at ours? Must be quite some time since got something to eat … and Henry's missing you."

She hesitated for a short moment at the mention of her son, but in the end left the store without looking back.

R&R

She hadn't even looked at him and she seemed perfectly fine, like their time together never happened, like he meant nothing to her. And maybe that was it, maybe he had simply imagined that their feelings matched, that she felt for him the way he felt for her, because he wanted it so bad – wanted her so bad. It wasn't fair, that she looked like this didn't even concern her at all, while he looked wrecked. Robin hadn't slept a wink since Marian's return and during the day he kept busy, desperate to do anything, no matter what. He avoided other people, everyone but his son, including Marian.

He lied next to her in the night and asked himself when it had started to feel wrong to sleep next to the woman he once decided would be his wife. The woman he had promised to love and protect and cherish forever. Not that he actually slept. Sleep was impossible. Every second lying in bed was spent thinking about another and the guilt was eating at him.

It killed him to see Regina while he wasn't able to reach out for her, feel her skin or her hair whenever he wanted. It killed him that she wouldn't even allow him to look into her deep, soulful eyes. He wanted to go to her, talk to her, and explain how hard this was for him. Explain that he didn't understand how she could have killed his wife, because it wasn't possible. Only yesterday he had talked to John, asked him if it was possible that Marian had still been alive when they left her.

"_Robin, I honestly don't understand either. But I can tell you this: I was just as sure she was dead as you were. She was not alive… I don't really understand what happened, but maybe something Emma did in the past changed something? I don't know, mate, but Marian was not alive when we left that castle." _

Marian had told him, that she woke up in the forest, not knowing how she got here. How she met Snow White and how she had helped her to repay her for her kindness, before trying to find a way back to him. How she had gotten captured by the Queen, paraded around and thrown into the dungeon. Without a doubt Regina most likely had killed her, but Marian had been dead! Robin was sure of it. So how could this happen? He simply wanted to talk to Regina, just a minute of her attention would do. But Marian didn't let him out of her sight, unless he had work to do and even then she insisted on accompanying him, they didn't interact but she kept close to him. And he couldn't blame her, this unknown world scared her. It scared her how much everything had changed, including Roland and himself. She was scared of the Queen. And so he let her, because he had once vowed to protect her and take care of her.

R&R

The Enchanted Forest – a few years before the first Dark Curse

"Hello? Can you hear me?" Snow White leaned over the young woman carefully not to disturb her. Two days ago she had found her in the woods and at first Snow had thought her dead until she saw her chest heave, almost invisible to the naked eye.

"Where am I?" the dark beauty tried to sit up dizzily. The movement hurt so bad that she sunk back. The wound on her stomach was not yet healed.

"Ah, sorry, but I'm afraid I'm not so sure about that myself. Not too far from the castle, I'd say," Snow looked around nervously at that. She fled from the palace a few weeks ago and didn't know the area good enough to dare run too far.

"I'm Marian."

"Snow White" she almost bit her tongue. She should have used another name.

Marian's eyes widen, "You're the princess, the rightful owner of the throne. Apologies, you Majesty."

Snow bit her lips. Legally that wasn't true, Regina was her father's wife and next in line for the throne, but most of the people wanted to see Snow on the throne.

"There is no reason to be formal. Snow will do. Might I ask what happened to you? When I found you, you were unconscious with a bad looking wound on your stomach, in the middle of nowhere. "

Marina looked at her unsure, "I'm not certain how I got here. I don't remember but… Oh, no! I need to find my way back to my family, they must think me dead!"

Snow held the anxious woman back softly, "I'm afraid you can't go yet. Your wound has not healed."

A few days passed until Marian was able to get up. During the time she was unable to do anything, she watched the princess struggle with the fire, how she clumsily tried to use a bow or the knife, which she had undoubtedly stolen from somewhere and how loudly the young woman made her way through the bushes.

Her decision was made, „Snow, I own you my life. I'd humbly request to repay the debt. I've lived in the forest for a long time and I can show you how to survive."

"Oh… thank you, but… you don't have to. You said you have family and I- I couldn't possibly keep you."

"I insist."

Relief flooded Snow's face. She felt bad for keeping Marian from her family but she was grateful for the offer. She could use all the help she could get, otherwise she wouldn't survive long.

R&R

Storybrooke, present

"I can't believe that you get along with the Evil Queen so well, all of the sudden," Marian took Robin's hand as they strolled down the street alongside the royal pair. Robin was distant and distracted but it didn't slip Marian's attention how Robin went rigid at the mention of the Evil Queen.

"Regina… she is no longer the same person she used to be," Snow explained and smiled at her. "Once you've gotten used to Storybrooke and spent some time here, you'll see for yourself."

The woman shivered at that and answered, "I' d prefer to see the Evil Queen as little as possible. She was incredible cruel, she laughed at my pain and my pleading."

Robin tensed even more beneath her fingers, "Don't worry, I'm here now. All is well." She whispered soothingly in his ear and he gave her a pained smile that did nothing to reach his eyes. Marian slowed down in order to stay behind the Charmings.

"Robin," she looked intently at him. „I know it's hard for you to believe that I'm here and well, but I am and I will not leave you again. I'm so happy to be with you and Roland again. When I was in the Evil Queen's prison, I sat there knowing I'd never see you again. I never thought I'd get a second chance to be with you."

Her eyes filled with tears and she wrapped her arms tightly around him. Robin responded to her embrace slowly almost unwillingly because it took everything in him not to yell at her, something he never had wanted to do before, and tell her to stop calling Regina the Evil Queen. Her words resonated in his mind and his mind felt jumbled.

_Second chance_

_Second chance_

_._

_._

_Second chance_

"_What do you see in me?"_

"_Hopefully the same thing you see in me. A second chance."_

It was ironic how something that was meant positively, words that fit perfect for the moment could turn to poison so suddenly. Regina must think that whatever they had was over without any words needed. Of course she would, which fit her behaviour perfectly. A second chance… who needed that when the first one was back? Only it wasn't that easy for Robin. The only question was, why…

R&R

Henry rang the doorbell repeatedly. He hadn't seen his mother in two day and all he wanted was to hug her and ask her if she was ok. Regina had taken down the spell that kept the wall up the day after Marian's return and met him briefly when she was talking to David and Snow in their apartment. She had told him everything was fine and that she had lots of things to do and he should stay here. Henry had tried to coax her into letting him stay with her but she had not budged. Emma had told him that Regina was most likely still in the vault so he had insisting on checking there first, after finding it empty they had come to her house.

"Henry, maybe she already went to sleep," Emma tried to get her son to go home, where it was cosy and warm. It was freezing outside and she didn't want Henry to catch a cold. Emma had just finished the sentence when the door opened and Regina welcomed them in the doorframe.

"Henry?" Regina was surprised at the eager hug from her son. "Come on in and get warmed up."

Emma hid her disbelief. She hadn't expected Regina would ask her in as well. She had after all, basically destroyed her life… only Regina didn't appear fazed by what happened the last few days. Her appearance was perfection even if her behaviour was colder than before, but that wasn't really anything new. Emma couldn't make head or tail of it.

"Miss Swan, what brings you here?" Regina rose on perfect brow. Emma looked down. The renewed formality was an indication Regina wasn't dealing with it as well as she made it look. They had never been best friends, certainly would never be, but not too long ago Regina had taken up calling her 'Emma', now 'Miss Swan' coming from Regina's mouth made her feel like a stranger, an intruder.

She accepted the steaming cup of tea from Regina gratefully. "Henry wanted to see you," Emma shrugged.

The blonde couldn't decide what feeling was the worst at seeing Regina's face at the revelation that the child she had nurtured and raised for ten years, actually wanted to see her; guilt, misery, nausea or anger. She gulped down the too hot tea and her eyes feel on the crestfallen face of Henry and gave him an encouraging look. One that did nothing to help.

"Mom, can we help you with anything? We brought some of Granny's muffins" Henry gave his mom the packet and Regina smiled softly at him. She took the carton and placed it on the counter.

The silence that followed was uncomfortable and made Emma switch from one foot to another nervously.

"Can I stay here for tonight? I'd love to spent a night in my room and Emma and Killian could use some time together," Henry grinned hopefully and winked at his blonde mom, who flushed, either from embarrassment of from anger.

"Oh, Henry, I'd really like that, but right now is not a very good time. I wanted to go to the vault later and work through some of the books I didn't get to so far. I'd prefer not to leave you alone in the house," Regina patted his head affectionately.

Emma watched with growing uneasy how Henry's smile crumbled. Never before had Regina rejected the idea of spending some time with Henry. In all the time Emma had known her Regina had fought tooth and nail to keep Henry close to her. Something was not right.

"I think Henry's old enough to stay in the house alone for one night. Besides maybe you could take a break for one night or we could bring you books here and you can work in the house," Emma tried.

"Miss Swan, I understand you are eager to spent a night with the one-handed wonder, but still I don't like leaving my son alone in a house while a snowstorm rages, caused by a Snow Queen with unknown agenda. And if I wanted my books in my house they would be in my house. However some of the book' content is rather sensitive which is why I would prefer them to stay where they are," Regina's word cut like knives.

Emma stifled a sigh, "Regina, Henry would really like…"

"Mom, I really want to stay here."

Regina stepped to Henry and caressed his hair, "I'd like that too, my prince. But maybe we can reschedule? At least until we took care of this situation."

Henry didn't look like he agreed with his mother's words but Emma thought it best to let the topic rest for now. She didn't want Regina to burden herself with more than she already had to handle. "Come on, kid. I think Regina's right. We can try and reread the tale of the Snow Queen. Maybe Gold missed something."

The two of them left the house shortly afterwards despite Henry's continued protest. Regina watched them as they went into the car. After she closed the front door a wave of dizziness hit her, sleep deprivation and hunger made her see black spots for a few seconds. She really needed to eat something, Regina thought as she looked at her shaking hand. Regina stumbled her way into the kitchen and took one of the muffins Henry had got for her. A few long moments she simply looked at the sweet treat, at the thought of actually taking bite bile rose in her throat and she dropped the muffin untouched.

R&R

Emma burrowed her face in her hands after Henry finally and after a long fight had agreed to go to bed. He was angry with her and to a certain degree Emma could understand his frustration, Regina was suffering and it was more or less her fault.

"Don't take it so hear, love. He's a teenager and I'm sure all is forgotten soon," Killian sat down next to her and took her in his arms.

Emma leaned into his touch and allowed herself to draw comfort from him. She was grateful Killian had agreed to let her and Henry stay until they found their own place. Her parents hadn't been happy about it, but even they had to admit that having an infant waking up Henry every night wasn't optimal and so Emma and Henry were going to transfer their stuff here tomorrow. Henry resolutely refused, insisting he wanted to stay with Regina. And truthfully Emma would have taken that opportunity gladly, but right now that was out of question.

"That's not it," she hesitated for a moment. It wasn't easy for her to open up, which was the whole reason she had tried to keep Hook at distance for so long. "At least not completely… Do you think I made a mistake?"

He looked somewhat lost, "What do you mean?"

"You told me to leave Marian behind, to leave the past where it belonged. And I brought her here anyway."

He took her chin softly to make her look in his eyes, "Do you regret saving her life?"

"Of course not! It's just…"

"Would you do it again?"

Emma leaped up frustrated and paced the room, "That's the point. I don't know! I brought her here, because I wanted to save her, yes. But also because I thought that way, no one would get hurt. I thought it was the only way the future would not be affected. I shouldn't feel this way, I brought someone's wife back, and a child has gotten his mother back. I shouldn't feel guilty, but I do! It doesn't feel right. And now I think that I should have thought this through more… Every magic comes at a price. What if the Snow Queen really is here because of that? What if that is the price? What if people will die because I thought I could go around playing with life and death, what if…"

Killian interrupted her with a kiss, "Calm down, love. You need to breath from time to time. I know I told you to let it be, but you are who you are and I don't want you to change. I know what happened to Regina was terrible, but she takes it well. And Robin and Roland have their family complete again. Who knows why the Snow Queen is here. And if it does have something to do with the time travel, we'll deal with it when it comes down to it."

Emma shook her head, "You really think so? You think Regina is taking this well? She basically just threw Henry out of the house! Something is not right! And does Robin look like he's happy? Have you seen him recently? He looks like a zombie! As if he hadn't slept in forever, he doesn't smile and is all depressed!"

Hook wasn't exactly sure what a zombie was, but it didn't sound like a good think and truly he didn't know what to tell her. "How about we talk to the crocodile? If someone knows the price of magic, it is the Dark One" he suggested, hoping that would lay at least one of her worries at rest.

Emma nodded, she should have thought about this sooner, but with the Snow Queen occupying all of her time, everything else was forgotten.

"Oh, you want to go right now?" Killian stared at her as she stood up and put on her jacket.

"Yep! I'll go over to Tinkerbell and tell her to look after Henry" Emma told him already halfway out the door. The fairy lived opposite of him in the same building. She had gotten him the apartment.

"Someday, Jones, someday you'll stop running after her," he mumbled while making his way to the door to follow his girlfriend.

Turned out the Gold's were not all too happy about the nightly visit and Emma was pretty sure Gold would have thrown them out, if it wasn't for Belle. But thanks to her they were seated around the table in the dining room, one nervous Emma, one annoyed Killian, one sleepy Belle and one very unhappy .

"Now, to what do I own the honour?" he asked finally. "Any developments regarding the Snow Queen?"

Emma shifted on her chair, "No, I just… I wanted to know… Is it possible that she's here because I brought back Marian? Or what will the consequences of that be? Because you keep saying that magic comes at a price and…"

Gold held up his hand to signal for Emma to shut up.

"Miss Swan, I do not know what the consequences of your actions will be. A life was saved, that should have ended. Maybe death will reclaim what's been taken from it or another life will be severed in its stead. Whether the Snow Queen is here because of you or not, I do not know," he lifted his shoulders. "It is possible; she did declare she was looking for her who gets in the way of fate. But I wouldn't be aware you're able to see the future, therefore I don't think she's her for you."

"I was only trying to do the right thing," Emma choked.

Rumpelstilstkin's eyes flashed dangerously, "Whatever lets you sleep at night, dearie."

Hook stood up and narrowed his eyes at Gold, "Emma did the right thing and saved an innocent life. Surely that's the kind of magic that doesn't demand a price."

Gold giggled, "The right thing? Miss Swan surely has done a lot, but the right thing was not one of those things. The right thing would have been to leave the past in the past where it belongs, no matter how painful it might be. She didn't do the right thing; she did the selfish thing, the thing she could live with easiest. The right thing isn't always the thing that makes you feel best about yourself; it means that sometimes we have to make a sacrifice. Miss Swan here, refused to do that. Whatever happens, there is a price to pay. Now get out of my house" Gold's voice lowered dangerously and honestly Hook wasn't sure what do reply. He hoped to find an ally in Belle, but when she averted her gaze, Killian realized, that she was actually agreeing with what Gold had just said.

Emma had started to shake next to him and Hook decided to get her out as fast as possible. Not one word was spoken between them as they made their way back. But before Killian could open the door to his building, Emma held him back, threw her arms around him and sobbed into his shoulder.

R&R

* * *

**So tell me what you think.**

**On a side note: What Gold said, is actually what I think about it. It's not because it's Marian, no matter who Emma would have brought back I would have thought her an idiot. No offense but she really didn't think about it, at all.**


	4. Strings of Fate

**First of all: Thank you for the overwhelming response on the last chapter. It really motivated me to get that one out fast.**

**at theEvilPandaa: Thanks for reviewing. Sorry, that my updating isn't making her better - yet!**

**at Thornspike: Thank you so very much. I wonder that too... and I don't think they will, because it's Emma and she's a Charming so... at least FF is doing it massively :)**

**at Guest1: You think you love it? Let me know when you know ;) Thanks for reviewing.**

**at Guest2: Thanks! Don't hate on Marian though, up until now she hasn't even done anything. Or do you mean the one from my story?  
**

**at castlefringereader: Agreed, it's like she learned nothing from Marty McFly!  
**

**at Kami: Thank you very much. I doubt it as well, but that's what fanfiction is for. I don't think Emma saved anything by bringing Marian back and I would find it ridiculous for the show to use that approach. If Robin would leave Regina after finding out about Marian (considering he knew she was the EQ and that she didn't delibartely keep the information from him) I'd stop wanting them to be together, because that would defeat the purpose of making them love each other so deeply they can't live without the other. **

**at maxiefae: Can't speak for the show, but in my story Emma is not happy. ... Yes that is pretty mean. Emma made a mistake and we all do, I only hope she will get confronted with it and learn from it. **

**at dalyblue: Don't worry I will! And about you likely? idea, sorry to disappoint but it really only stems from exhaustion and lack of eating. (That's not to say, you should lose hope that'll happen at some point :))  
**

**at Anny Rodrigues: Uh... I wasn't trying to spread hate. I think you should cut Emma some slack, she has the least experience witht the repercussion of magic and up until now, never experienced it, she never needed to make a decision that caused other people pain and was still the right thing to do. I think it's a great opportunity for ONCE to show that the world isn't black or white. Ans seriously Hook has his hilarious moments. About Regina... sorry don't want to spoiler you. I will only say, that I hope I'll manage to suprise everyone!**

**at Guest3: Thanks, and I don't feel sorry for her either. She should grow because of this experience.**

**On a personal note I'd like to say that last chapter wasn't about hating on Emma. I would have thought that way about any other character who would have gone around messing with the past. However I think Emma was the only one, who would have done that, because she never was in that situation before, everyone sees her as the saviour and she didn't grow up seeing what magic does. I mean I think Emma's one of the few characters that I can explain doing this, everyone else I would have thought of as completely stupid, because they really should have known better. Emma should have too, but at least I can see where she's coming from. **

**Anyway thank you all very much for sharing your opinion with me.**

**I don't own anything.**

* * *

**Strings of Fate**

Storybrooke - Present

„_I would have gone through hell, to be with my Marian again."_

„_I would have gone through hell, to be with my Marian again."_

"…_gone through hell…. my Marian…"_

"…_through hell… my Marian…"_

Trenched in sweat Robin woke with a start. His hand went over his face harshly and he tried to even out his breathing. Just another night, in which sleep evaded him, he sat up with a groan and a pounding headache. A look at the clock told him that he hadn't even managed to get three hours of sleep. Robin got up and made his way to the coffee machine. The sheriff station was deserted at this time of night and the empty, dark rooms fit his mood perfectly. He should be in his room at Granny's and share a bed with his wife, but he slept even less there. At the station at least he managed to sleep for a few hours a night, sadly three was the new record and the sleep was laced with nightmares.

Tonight's one had started out great. Regina had been there, her and Roland had played a game with a name Robin couldn't remember. It was about having to take out bones from a board shaped like a man and not set off an alarm. Regina had allowed Roland to win and the boy had been chuffed to bits every time he managed to collect a bone or Regina set of the alarm. Robin had been standing in the doorframe and he had simply taken in the scene until Regina had looked up from the board and their eyes met across the room. She had given him a radiant smile. One of those that were meant exclusively for him. One that made his heart skip a beat and made him smile back inevitably. Then the scene had changed, he stood in the forest facing Rumpelstilstkin. The Dark One was threatening his son and he was forced to give up Regina's heart. He had felt terrible, she had trusted him with it and he had lost it. But then Regina was there and she was smiling and told him that it was fine and that she understood, and she had looked beautiful and warm and her eyes had been bright. The next time he blinked he found himself sitting in front of the fire place facing Regina. And she opened up to him, giving him her heart for real after giving it to him literally. Despite him losing it she still trusted him enough to give it away again. And she had been so open, so sad, so vulnerable, all he wanted was to take that away. He felt so blessed, she didn't allow people to see her weak, yet she allowed him in, trusted him to be her strength. And then he said that sentences, the one he now wished had never left his mouth. The sentence that seemed so right in that moment when they told each other about their first loves. It was this sentence that made her face turn to stone in his dream; she turned into the guarded woman, the one wearing a mask, like the night at the Diner.

And he realized what the dream meant, he had lost her heart twice… and the second time he wasn't sure he could get it back.

It wasn't fair to his wife, who had done nothing wrong, Robin knew. But his thoughts were reign by Regina and he couldn't stop it, wasn't even sure he wanted to if he could. What he had started to feel for the Queen…

He threw two hands full of ice cold water in his face and breathed deeply. It was the same thing again, just like the sentence with the second chance, the one about Marian in front of the fire place turned to ashes in his mouth, when he thought about it now. He knew how it must sound to Regina, considering the situation. He closed his eyes and let his forehead fall to the mirror. Worries about Regina were another reason for his sleepless nights.

The way Regina had obstructed the Snow Queen, knowing she could be killed; it wasn't something he was able to forget. Regina didn't think of her life as precious, she didn't care if she might get hurt. And not for the first time, Robin thought darkly, remembering how David told him about what Regina attempted to do to save the town from Pan. Her own life meant nothing to her. Grimly he remembered he uncaring attitude towards her own death, after Zelena had taken her heart from him. Back then he had admired her for the serene way she had handled everything, but looking back now he saw her nonchalance before his eyes. The first question she had asked, was if everyone was alright and she even told him it was a problem that her sister hadn't crushed her heart immediately. And before she was off to face her sister, she hadn't cared how she would emerge after it was over. Once it caught his attention, more and more instances in which Regina disregarded herself came to light, especially during the missing year. Her plan to curse herself to eternal sleep had been the most harmless of them all.

It was only after the cold hit him that Robin realized he had left the station. His feet dragged him in her direction without his mind telling them to, or perhaps he had told them subconsciously, he couldn't be sure. Her house was dark and after taking a few careful steps Robin found that the barrier was no longer active. Somewhere in his mind he knew this was a mistake, his wife was sleeping unassuming in the Diner and he was here pinning after the woman who most likely killed her. But he had to see Regina, only for a short moment, only to reassure himself that she was fine.

The locks were different from the ones in the Enchanted Forest, but years of experience had made Robin creative when it came to getting inside when he wanted to. He found her room and Henry's room empty as well as any other part of the house. His heart hammered in his chest. In panic he tried to find any indication of where she might be. Just when he was about to call David to gather a search troop, did he remember that she had mentioned looking through books in her vault a few days ago in Gold's shop.

His feet drummed over the asphalt as he ran into the woods without catching his breath until he reached the entrance to her crypt. With his heart beating wildly he descended the stairs and the relief was so crushing it took his breath away when he saw the light inside. She was absorbed in her book and hadn't heard him coming. Regina looked up only after he softly knocked on the open door.

"Ro… Sir of Locksley! What do you think you're doing here?" Regina asked venomous.

„Please stop it, Regina," his relief changed to anger. Her refusal to call him by his name… no her refusal to acknowledge their relationship was taking his toll on him and hurt deeply. He could have lived with her calling him _Thief _or _Outlaw_. It was what she had called him in the missing year in which he had felt so very drawn to her; it had been a caress falling from her lips here in Storybrooke, proof for their closeness.

"I don't know what you're talking about," she said stiffly.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about. Do you think this is easy for me?" he asked more quietly.

"Yes, it must be truly terrible having your true love raise from the dead, perfectly healthy and fine," it was supposed to be sarcastic, but Regina didn't manage to keep the pain from her voice and cursed Robin for it. If it had been everybody else it was no problem to pretend everything was fine, but with him it was so much harder and she felt the truth starting to tear at her armour.

Robin didn't know how to reply. His first impulse at hearing Regina call Marian his true love had been to refute, but he held back at last second. Because up until he met Regina, he had thought it to be true… but now? It wasn't fair to Marian, but what he had started to feel for Regina, what they had shared, and that had after all been only a taste of what they could have had, was different from what he had felt for his wife. He had loved Marian, no doubt, but Regina… the longer Robin thought about it the more confusing it got.

"So after that is clear, I'd like to go back to my reading. I have no plans to be as unprepared the next time I met the Snow Queen," she turned away from him but Robin was faster.

He caught her wrist in his hand and stopped her from moving away from him. "You're not seriously thinking about fighting her, do you?" he growled.

"And if I did, it'd be none of your business," Regina tried in vain to free her hand.

"I don't think so. Believe it or not, but there are people who care about you. You can't just go around…"

"It's none of your business," Regina snapped and pulled her wrist away from him with brutal force, leaving a red spot on her skin.

"Oh, but I think it does," Robin grabbed for her hand again and pulled her back to him. He overestimated how strong he was, or rather how weak her body had gotten, and Regina stumbled into his chest.

_That shouldn't have been so easy, _Robin thought and any joyous feelings he might have had about having her in his arms were blighted by worry and shock. "Regina! When was the last time you ate something?!" he asked alarmed.

Her brown eyes widen and she got away from him, "Get out!"

"Regina, I…," he ventured forward.

"Get out! Out! Out!" she shrieked and the next think Robin felt was her magic pushing him back. He fought against the pull but it was hopeless, the next time he looked up he found himself outside of her vault. Not even two steps later he once again met, the already familiar magical field, keeping him from her.

Robin gritted his teeth; he would not give up that easily! Regina didn't want to listen to him? Fine! But she would need to do something when she was faced with Snow White or Tinkerbell. Reluctantly and with a heart filled with pain he turned and made his way back to the station.

R&R

Heavy breathing was the only think resonating in the crypt after Robin left. Regina wanted to kick, scream, punch and hit. She wanted to destroy something. She finally needed to let her pain and anger out. The first think that fell into her hand had to go, she grabbed around randomly and destroyed everything that got in her way. She only stopped when every breakable thing in the room was broken. And then she fell to her knees in the middle of the chaos she had wrecked and cried. She was exhausted and tired; her whole body shook with sobs.

What had he wanted? Why had he come? Why did he have to come? She couldn't bear to see him, it killed her to know that he had a son and a wife to go back to. The one man that broke through every wall she had built around her heart, faster than she'd ever imagined possible because it had taken so very long to build them up. And the child, his child that she loved as much as her own, because she had envisioned it, envisioned them, being a family with them and Henry. And it didn't take more than an instant, no more than a name falling from his lips that wasn't her own, for that image to be gone.

It was a long time for Regina got a hold of herself enough to get off the floor. She had a mission, she would have time to break down after this was over, she repeated it in her head over and over, like a mantra. It had kept her going the past days and it would keep her going for as long as she'd need it to. Regina wished it would be easier, she wished she had never opened up to him, that she had never seen his tattoo, that made her believe that she could give in this time. It had made her believe it was safe to give in the desire, the feelings, that this time she could be happy. Because nothing, **nothing**, was worth this pain.

She shook hard as she pulled herself up enough to fall down onto a single chair still standing, hard, solid and made out of wood. Regina ignored how much it reminded her of Robin or how ridiculous that very thought was. She took up the book she had started to study before she had been interrupted. It was a simple grey book without a title or any other information, nothing to indicate that it held significant information about the Snow Queen. But Regina was desperate, no book she had looked at so far, had been of use. Therefore the ones she had dismissed before would now be studied as well. Her eyes burned, but she started to read anyway.

"_Some people believe in fate, that some things in the universe are meant to be – predestined to happen – and that those things cannot be changed. However that is not true._

_Every life starts out as an empty book. As long as its pages are blank every story imaginable can happen in it. Every decision we - or the people important to our own book – make, is like a word. With every word, the possibility of how the sentence will end constricts. And with every sentence we narrow down the path our book of life will take. Everyone decides for themselves which choices to make and which not to make and therefore what path will be walked. Sometimes not all possible choices are known to us or obvious for us, but still their there._

_At this point the metaphor of the book shall end and the symbol of the strings shall begin. Every book containing the story of one person is like a thread. And every decision that writes the book also decided the way we are interwoven with the other strings. The life of one is always intertwined with others. It spins a fabric, that is made out of all the threads. _

_To weave the cloth, that is the task of the Immortals. Beings that existed before time and that will exist even after. They are not gods, neither fate nor destiny for they do not decide the words in our books. But they weave and entwine the strings of life to a cloth, the pattern of it decided by our choices._

_The highest of the Immortals, and the weaver of the cloth is known by many names. In our land, we call her The Weather Witch – Mother Hulda. __She gave birth to the four Elementaries – water that gives life, earth that nurtures life, wind that carries life and fire that is life. The task of the Elementaries is to ensure people's choices, so that they may choose from the vastest number of possibilities. They surround us every second. _

_Fire and Earth joined to give life to __thunder and lightning, water and wind gave birth to snow and ice. The grandchildren of the Weather Witch took the form of humans, they are hunters. They hunt those who try to diminish the possibilities of others, that's the duty given to them. The hunters were once feared and known by many names but over time people forgot about their existence and only one name still rings through the lands and fear follows it wherever it's spoken. The Snow Queen._

_The Immortals are neither good nor bad, they are balance. They enable everyone to write their own story." _

The book slipped from her hands and Regina blinked a few times. She had pressed her nose so close to the book, her eyes needed time to readjust to the room. Her hands shook as she reached for the book and put it in her bag. She had heard stories, rumours, whispered and hushed words about the Weather Witch – Mother Hulda. Even her mother and Rumpelstiltskin had spoken fearfully of her. She was no one they ever wanted to cross. But she hadn't know, who or rather what Mother Hulda was.

The story, the one she just read, it fit best to everything that happened to far. Regina remembered the Snow Queen's words, who she was seeking and that she had no plans of killing anyone. Everything seemed to fit, but Regina wasn't sure if this one, was not the truth to fear worse than the others. Some girl with powers she couldn't control and even a Queen going after children, somehow they could have handled that, but this… this was by far the most dreadful one. But Regina had no plans to cause a ruckus with no evidence to back her up, she needed to make some inquiries.

R&R

"Robin!"

Said man turned and watched his right hand man, Little John make his way over to him. He hadn't gotten far, the station was still hallway down the road. After finding himself outside the crypt he contemplated marching over to Snow and David to talk to them about Regina's state, but ultimately given the time of night, decided that he'd talk to them first thing in the morning. They weren't able to do anything in the middle of the night anyway and they did have an infant.

"There you are! Marian asked me to look for you. She woke me up distraught when she woke and didn't find you next to her," John halted once he was close to Robin.

Robin nodded guiltily, he felt appalling but he simply could not bring himself to sleep or even lay next to Marian anymore.

"I couldn't sleep," Robin told John apologetically.

John looked at him critically, "Did you even spend a single night with your wife since she was returned to you?"

Robin flinched, "John, I…"

His friend sighed and for a little while they strolled down the pavement next to each other silently. When they came across a park bench John indicated they should sit down.

"Robin, what's going on with you? You look worse with every passing day, when you should be elated to have Marian back."

Robin refused to meet John's eyes, instead his gaze was directed to the ground, "I know and I am, John. I am glad, that Marian was spared from death and I'm so glad Roland gets to meet his mother. Her being here is a gift."

"Only it doesn't sound like you are happy to have you _wife _back," John remarked carefully probing.

"I… it's complicated. I'm feeling… torn. It took very long for me to get over Marian's death. It almost killed me and if it wasn't for Roland I'm not sure I would have made it."

"I remember, Robin. I was there! This is why I don't understand your reaction."

The man sighed, "I let go, John. I've gotten over her death – over her. And now… now that's the very thing I feel guilty about and that's not…"

"Is this about the Evil Queen?" after Robin's icy stare John corrected himself, "… about the Queen?"

Frustrated Robin ran a hand through his hair, "John… I don't know. Regina… makes this more complicated. A few days ago I imagined a future with her."

John's eyes widen, "You are not seriously trying to tell me, you're contemplating choosing the Ev… the Queen over your wife?"

"It's not that easy," Robin protested tiredly.

"Robin, listen to me. Marian was killed by the Queen. I know we thought her dead but she wasn't. If it wasn't for the Queen she would have found her way back to us! The Queen is the reason you were in agony over Marian's dead, she's the reason Roland had to grow up without a mother."

At the mention of his son, Robin felt a wave of anger rising up, "Don't you dare use my son like this, John. Do you think I don't know that? Do you think I don't know what Regina once did? Do you think me that naïve? We have lost enough men to her Black Knights, heard enough stories and seen enough misery to prove the things she's done. But…" Robin's voice got softer and a small, tentative, melancholic smile appeared on his lips, "… she's no longer the same person. If everyone keeps seeing her past, she'll be forever imprisoned in it. I haven't met the 'Evil Queen', I've met Regina."

John didn't look convinced but refrained from commenting, "Be as it may, Robin. But Marian, is the one you married. You vowed to be faithful, to care and love her. Can you really reconcile breaking your vow with your consciousness?"

Really John already knew the answer to that. Robin had a strict moral codex, loyalty was important to him, justice was important to him. John had seen how Robin had spit on his honour as a soldier, when he had punched Prince John square in the face and made a run for it instead of facing the consequences. And John would have done the same thing, Prince John was a complete wanker, no doubt and everyone had secretly cheered for Robin. Honour was not always equal honour, an oath of allegiance was not worth more than a life and Robin had broken his oath because he couldn't believe in it anymore. Robin's codex was not easy to understand, it was not working according to common standards.

"She was dead; I had to let her go, John. You must understand that. I… I'm not even sure I'm still the person she once married. I tried, you know. In the past few days I did try to find my feelings for Marian again. But…," Robin lifted his shoulders helplessly.

"Did you?" John asked him thoughtfully. "I mean, did you really try to give your marriage a true chance? You barely spent time with Marian… real time I mean, not together with other people or when you work and she watches you. You kept her at distance and maybe she explains it with your disbelief about her being back – but how long until she starts to ask questions? Can you really look me in the eye and tell me you honestly tried to give your marriage a chance?"

Robin didn't answer, knowing that John was right. But wasn't it unfair to Marian that every time he looked at her he wished for a different face to smile back at him? Wouldn't he hurt more people like this? Especially his son, who didn't understand in the slightest why he wasn't allowed to see Regina anymore and kept quiet, only because he didn't understand what the new unknown woman wanted from him. The boy got more introverted the more time passed and Robin started to worry about him.

"Robin, look," John continued. "I think you own it to Marian and yourself and your son to try everything to keep your family together. And if you still want to be with the Queen in a few weeks, if your feelings haven't changed, then I promise I will support whatever decision you make. All I want for you is not to regret your actions."

Robin nodded; John was right or at least he hoped so. He had to try with Marian, seriously this time or at least show Marian that she was welcomed here and that he would be there for her, whatever the future might hold for them. But a few weeks… he didn't know how he'd make it through. And still Regina deserved an explanation, that he owned her!

"Thanks, John," Robin stood up and slapped his friend on the back. He tried a smile but it came out more as a grimace. "I should go back, I don't want Marian to worry anymore."

R&R

Surprisingly Belle was the one to curse when she and her husband awoke in the middle of the night by the ringing of the doorbell a second time. A glance at the clock told her it was more morning than night and she groaned, going back to sleep after getting up now would be pointless.

"I don't care who this is, I will kill them!" Gold stalked to the door irately. He got dressed magically and Belle wondered if maybe she could simply stay in bed. In the end nonetheless, she got up and put on her robe to follow him.

"Regina? You better have a very good reason to wake us in the middle of the night," Gold told their guest. He wasn't happy seeing his former student in the middle of the night, but knowing Regina she wouldn't throw him out the bed for nothing.

"Yes, yes, terribly sorry to interrupt the maternal bliss, but I think I might have found something," she entered unasked.

Gold perked up at hearing that, "And what would that be?"

Regina told him off, "Not important, at least not until I have it confirmed. Which is what I'm here for. Belle and you went to where the portal opened and found an urn, that you said used to be in your secret chamber, right?"

Belle nodded in affirmation, she too was interested in Regina's discovery.

"Where and when did you get that urn?" the Queen asked urgently.

"Maybe you'd like to tell me what you found first."

"Something that seems very farfetched, which is why I'd like to confirm it before alarming everyone."

"Something bad then?" Belle asked.

"Oh, you have no idea," Regina said darkly.

Gold looked at Belle who indicated for him to tell Regina what she wanted to know. He had no other choice but to tell Regina, Belle was still under the impression she held his dagger.

"It wasn't too long before the first Dark Curse," Rumpelstiltskin thought back. "Three to four years before, maybe. An elderly woman offered it to me as payment. I didn't know what was in it, but the magic it held was enormous. I thought it might come in handy later, besides what the woman wanted was worth less than the urn."

"And what did she want?" Regina asked.

Gold snickered, "Well, dearie, that is the interesting part. She wanted information, about the Evil Queen."

Regina blinked in surprise, she hadn't expected that, "And what kind of information?"

"Everything – routes that you will take when you travel, likes and dislikes, your plans, your past."

"And you gave her what she wanted?"

"Well, not everything, but enough to satisfy her, yes."

Thinking deeply Regina looked at him. Then she rose from her chair and went to the door.

"And where will you go now, dearie?"

"It would appear there's only one person that can tell me, which story about the Snow Queen is true," Regina told him regally. She raised a hand and one cloud of purple smoke later, she donned one of the most elaborate dresses of the Evil Queen Gold had ever seen her in. It was almost completely black, the sleeves were made of black lace with seen through patterns and the black velvet fit tight over her body. With deep red lips she smiled a sinister smile. "I think it's time for a Queen-to-Queen."

R&R

* * *

**Finally some interaction betwee Robin and Regina!**

**So? Tell me what you think!**


	5. Queen-to-Queen

**Sorry for the mess. I've tried to upload for the third time already. I do hope it works this time.**

**at Guest: Nah, be peeved all you want. But he did spent years with Marian and they are friends, besides marriage is still more holy in the EF than it is in Storybrooke, and John was not part of the original curse. Let's hope he makes up for that later :) I think this chapter will put any worries you might have at rest... or rather open up others. There will be an explanation for Marian's behaviour later, so stay tuned for that. Besides I mean, she did just get pulled out of her world, in another one where nothing makes sense, her husband is distant and her child much older than before, her keeping close to who she knows is the natural reaction. You are probably right about the 'only remembers the best parts of her' thing, I think we all do that ones we loose something. The part about Marian apparently being dead and turning up later will also be adressed, so please be patient. Actually I would like it, if Regina had killed Marian on the show, because she was the EQ, she didn't care who she hurt, and it would only proof Robin doesn't think of Regina and the EQ as the same person, they might be a part of one another but no longer the same. So I wouldn't mind that relevation. Honestly I have different problems with that story: like if Marian was so important and her identity was so important to be known to the EQ, then wyh didn't she take her heart out and make her say it? I think Regina would have killed Marian back then either way, we have seen how ruthless she unsed to be, so it wouldn't suprise me, but I kind of think the creators of the show will resolve it similar to how you desribed it.**

**at Casey: Thank you for the compliment. And I'm a firm believer in the good sides of divorce. I mean I do get that children are being affected by it, but they are more perceptive than adults belive and they do realize when their parents marriage is wrong. I think that is way worse than a clean cut. By the way, I liked how you picked up exactly what that part was about! Ah, the part about true love, will be touched in this chapter as well, to give an explanation to Robin's reaction.  
**

**at Beeunique95: Thanks a lot. I hope you enjoy the rest as well.  
**

**at TheRebirthofPain: Thanks for reviwing. Hope you've received my reply.**

**at SamanthaFreita3: Don't worry I didn'f forget Henry. Some of it in this one, but more to come in a little bit. Thanks for reviewing. **

**at kk bk: Oh, yes, but perhaps different from what you thought. Wonder how you like it.**

**at Anny Rodrigues: That's fine, everyone's entitled to their own opinion. John just told him what he thought, it's Robin's decision. Besides maybe later he'll make up for it?... Who knows?**

**Thanks to all of you for taking the time to review. It keeps me going.**

**I own nothing.**

* * *

**Queen-to-Queen**

Storybrooke - Presence

Henry stared at the ceiling; he lied awake, refusing to succumb to sleep. His mother was not behaving like her usual self and he worried about her. She wasn't doing well, but she declined any attempt to help her, even coming from him. He was hurt deeply by it, but somehow he felt like he didn't even have the right to be angry about it. He thought back to his mother's surprised expression when Emma told her he wanted to see her. Like she couldn't believe he loved her enough to want to see her. Henry knew that his rejection of her during the last year had wounded his mother deeply. Time and time again he had chosen Emma over her until Regina didn't think of herself as his mother anymore. And back then he truly thought he was doing the right thing, Regina was the Evil Queen but even before Peter Pan, Henry had again started to reach out for her contiguity.

Henry thought back to every single time he had accused her of not loving him, every time he told her she wasn't his real mum and then he thought about his year in New York. He hadn't wanted to leave his mother, back when they were standing at the town line and she had told him what she planned to do, Henry had wanted to yell and scream and cry. Regina had made mistakes, lots of them, he knew, but he loved her anyway. She took care of him for ten years, gave him everything she had and he had no idea how to tell her that he wanted her to be his mother, to stay with her.

The memories she had given to him and Emma, were similar to the ones he shared with his mother. They were different to match New York and Emma, nothing else. And it was only now, that he had two different memories in his head that Henry realized how wonderful his childhood had been and how much his mother had loved him. Also how much he loved her back, only he didn't know how he could make her see. She kept him at distance. Villains didn't get happy endings, something he had told her once, that good would always prevail and Regina had repeated it to him a few times. It's what she believed in now, losing Robin had proved it to her and now she kept everyone away.

Henry couldn't accept that, he wanted to stay with Regina again. He loved Emma, no doubt, but when he needed safety and protection it was Regina he turned to. He was going over there first thing tomorrow and tell her that he was going to move back in, whether she liked it or not. Henry wanted to be angry at Robin, put his blame on him but Robin looked so very miserable and Henry was mostly responsible himself. Henry was very much able to see how pained Robin looked and how it affected even Roland. The boy had come up to him a few days ago. Frowning Robin thought back to it.

R&R

_Emma texted about family dinner at Granny's and he texted back immediately if his mother would be there as well. His pace slowed considerably at her negative response and the smile fell from his face. _

_With a damped mood he arrived at the Diner. It wasn't especially busy that night, aside from Grumpy nodding at him from a stool at the counter and one of Robin's Merry Men with Roland at the far corner, the Diner was empty. Roland waved at him and scurried down from the chair, the boy was about to come over to Henry, when the ringing of the bell and the following voices told him the rest of his family had just arrived._

"_Papa!" Roland stormed past him and giggled when his father picked him up and twirled him around. _

"_Roland, my boy! How did you like spending the day with Samuel?" Robin asked while acknowledging the tall, dark black man with the frizzy hair, who had sat with Roland._

"_It was good," Roland said timidly, "Sam teached me how to read trails."_

"_Did he now? But I showed you how to do that already!" Robin exclaimed feigning outrage._

"_Sam said he knew better than you," Roland giggled and Robin grabbed his chest theatrically with his free hand. "Son, you wound me deeply. How can you believe that?"_

_Roland snickered and Henry watched how his face suddenly changed in a more sour expression and how Roland's little hand fisted in his father's shirt once Marian came into his view and gave him a kiss to the forehead. _

"_Hey kid, what are we eating tonight?" Emma flopped down next to him and started to study the menu as if she didn't know it by heart already. His grandparents slid in the seats opposite of him. Henry was glad that family Hood decided to dine at the opposite end of the Diner, he still felt like glaring at Robin and weirdly enough Marian but Robin at least looked tired enough as it was. _

_Henry spent the rest of the evening watching how Roland tried to squirm away from Marian every time she reached out for him. The boy looked uncomfortable and almost afraid of her. He kept as close to his father as he could, using Robin as a shield. Henry didn't quite understand the toddler, sure Marian was new in his life but it was still an extreme reaction. Then again Henry didn't know the boy well… which was why he couldn't explain the protective brotherly instinct in his gut. Must be because if Robin and Regina would have stayed together they would have been brothers. So when Marian told Roland she'd bring him to bed and tears gathered in those big brown eyes of his, Henry stood up and offered to read him a bed time story. _

_Marian didn't look too keen on the idea, but Robin agreed gratefully and Roland was absolutely delighted._

"_Henry?" once Roland was safely tucked in, the boy's eyes locked with Henry._

"_What's wrong Roland?" Henry asked and shoved the book aside. _

"_Doesn't R'gina like me anymore?" Roland asked teary eyes and Henry swallowed the lump in his throat._

"_Of course not Roland. My mother loves you very much."_

"_But she doesn't come to visit anymore and she promised to get ice cream with me and papa, but we didn't go."_

"_Roland, listen," Henry said seriously. "My mum loves you very much, but she is really really busy right now. I haven't seen her lately too, because she has to work so much."_

_Roland nodded sniffing and big fat tears rolled over his cheeks, "I wished Regina was my mama."_

_Unsure of how to react to that Henry keep quiet at first. If Emma hadn't brought back Marian, maybe that would have been reality one day. For a second Henry was angry at his biological mother, but she had only been trying to save a life. _

"_I don't like my mama. She always looks at me weirdly and she says bad things about R'gina," Roland continued. _

_Now Henry was truly angry. He knew his mother had done horrible things and yes, she did throw Marian in prison, but she better not dare to badmouth his mother. And he was also angry at Robin for allowing Marian to talk bad about Regina in front of Roland. _

"_Roland, my mum has made a lot of mistakes but she's changed and she's a good person. Don't let you mama tell you anything else. Emma, my other mum is the sheriff and if your mama's not careful I'll ask her to arrest you mama," Henry tried a lame joke. _

"_R'gina is your mama, but that other woman is your mama too? Why do you get to have two mamas?" Roland was scandalized and Henry almost had to laugh at his pout. _

"_Emma is my mama, because she was the one who gave birth to me, but she wasn't able to take care of me. So Regina adopted me and brought me up, so she's also my mama," Henry explained._

"_I want to have two mamas too," Roland whispered._

_And Henry held back, he refused to say anything and bit his tongue even though he could think about one or two things to say about that. For example how he hoped that maybe they'd be brothers someday. Instead he started to read the bedtime story. _

R&R

For Robin, the rest of the night was spent twisting and turning. When he had arrived at Marian's room -their room, he reminded himself - it had been almost morning and Marian had taken him into her arms relieved. She had asked him if he was feeling alright – which made him feel worse because she was worried about him while he was second-guessing his marriage. She had kissed him goodnight and Robin hated how she looked so very hurt after he didn't respond. Despite having promised to give it a real try only a few minutes before Robin couldn't bring himself to. She snuggled up to his side and, remembering his promise to John, he took her in his arms. Of course that had made sleep even more impossible than usual and the irrational guilt that he was betraying Regina was gnawing at him stronger than ever. Instead Robin tried without success to access the old feelings of safety and happiness he used to feel at Marians presence.

As soon as he thought it appropriate he got up and went down the stairs to get some coffee. He was contemplating going to Granny's and getting Marian and himself breakfast. He had to start somewhere.

"Papa!" Robin grinned and opened his arms to hoist his son up.

"There you are! What are you doing up so early?" Robin asked Roland. The boy was still wearing his pyjamas and rubbed his eyes tiredly. "Does your mama know you're here?"

Roland lost his dimples and looked around nervously, "I don't like mama. Can we go visit R'gina?"

Robin's heart clenched, Roland had problems accepting Marian as his mother and she was deeply hurt by her son's indifferent and almost hostile attitude. Roland had held back asking for Regina in front of Marian so far.

"I'm sorry, son. Regina is very busy," Robin said hoarsely.

"Is it because of the woman that makes everything cold?" Roland asked curiously.

Robin was surprised how much Roland had put together from the snippets he heard but then again the boy had been there when the Snow Queen first appeared. He must also have seen Regina's appearance as the Queen – although for him that was associated with protection and security, given she had saved him from that flying monkey.

"Look at you, being such a smart boy. Listen Roland, Regina has to take care of that problem and we can't go back into the forest as long as it's so cold. Regina wants to help us and you, so we may go back."

"But you help, Papa, right? Because R'gina might get hurt and someone has to protect her," Roland loved the woods and still he worried about Regina.

Robin smiled sadly, "Of course, I'll try my best to protect her. – And Roland, you're mama loves you very much. She missed a lot of time with you and wants to make up for it. She really really loves you."

Roland looked at the ground, "She says bad things about R'gina."

Anger flooded Robin but he fought it down with understanding. He needed to have a chat with Marian, it was understandable she hated Regina but his son was not a part of this. He loved Regina and Robin would always protect his son and put him before everything.

"Robin! Roland isn't in his bed…" Marian interrupted herself at seeing father and son sit next to each other in the lobby. "Roland, you can't just run away. I was worried about you," Marian scolded but the relief on her face told that she was in it with only half a heart.

"Sorry, Marian. I should have brought him back immediately," Robin said apologetically.

She smiled gently at him to let him know, that nothing had happened and therefore she wasn't angry, "Roland you need to get dressed and then we'll go to the Diner to grab breakfast?" Inquiringly she looked at Robin, who nodded.

Roland shook his head and clutched his father's shirt. Gently Robin pried his fingers off.

"Roland, listen to your mother. I promise we'll order pancakes and chocolate milk at Granny's but only if you're a good boy."

Robin found himself surprise when Roland was still hesitant to go with Marian. Usually he'd scramble off the stool so fast he'd almost fall flat on his bum when someone said chocolate. In the end Roland's craving for the sweet treat seemed to win and he climbed off the chair and followed his mother, but he did not take the hand she offered to him. Robin frowned watching them go.

"Ah, good morning! You're up early," David greeted when he and Snow entered the front door of the hotel.

"Good morning to you too. The same can be said about you!" Robin greeted back.

"Neal - he's with Emma right now though," was the insightful answer and Robin nodded in understanding. David didn't look like he got a lot more sleep than he did. Robin remembered when Roland was a baby, he'd always been fussing and cried a lot.

"So, what brings you here? Are there any news?" Robin asked the Charmings.

"Ah, no. We're picking up Ruby actually. She'll start today's shift a bit later and I thought we meet up for breakfast," Snow explained. "Besides maybe we can somehow manage to trick her into babysitting for one night."

"Snow there's something I wanted to talk to you about," Robin sobered up. "I've seen Regina yesterday and…"

Snow looked up sharply but permitted him to continue with no interruption.

Robin hemmed and hawed for a bit, "Well, I kind of got the impression she might have lost some weight and I just wanted to make sure…" Robin fell silent and looked at Snow hoping she'd understand.

He could see the cogs in her head turning and she exchanged a look with her husband, "Now that you mention it. She refused our invitation to eat together several times already. I promise I'll talk to her."

Relieved Robin saw that Snows easy words did little to overthrow the worry in her face. He knew for sure Snow would confront Regina and make her eat something. She couldn't go on like this and Snow hopefully would put an end to it. … He only wished it was him who could help Regina.

R&R

Fear was not the word Regina would have used to describe her feelings. So what if she didn't feel a hundred percent confident at the prospect of confronting the Snow Queen. She could still hold her own. But a bit of unease – not fear, never fear, she was the Evil Queen, she was not afraid – crept into her as she regarded the huge towers of the ice palace the Snow Queen had created. Her robe as the Evil Queen did give her some self-assurance, but not enough to feel safe. Regina took one deep breath and took the time to carefully arrange her features. If she wasn't confident she would at least pretend to be. When she was sure nothing of her insecurity showed on her stature she ascended the stairs. Using both of her hands she threw the two gigantic ice doors of the palace magically open.

She had barely taken five steps inside, when the gate closed behind her and it took everything in Regina not to look back. She was trapped now, it appeared. Suddenly the Snow Queen was only centimetres from her face and Regina almost flinched back.

"The week is almost up," Regina said coldly.

"It's no longer of matter. If you came to bring me she who I seek, you are too late," her voice carried the same apathy that had made Regina shiver the first time they had met.

Regina wanted to ask, what she meant with that – the week was not yet up, so they couldn't be too late. For now Regina held that question back, she needed to stick with her plan. One thing after another.

"I'm not here to bring you anything. I'm here to find out who or what you are," Regina's voice resonated loudly in the empty hall full of ice.

The Snow Queen tilted her head to the side, her braid hanging over the other, like she had done before. She was stunning, Regina would have said if she'd ever use that condemned word again. But the lack of emotion on her face… Regina dissembled how much that unsettled her.

"Who do you believe that I am?"

"Well…" Regina created herself a chair – hard, solid and completely made of wood – and if only to have a place to sit and show the Snow Queen that she wasn't afraid of her. And if she showed off a tiny bit of magic in hopes to intimidate, who was there to judge? "…there are three very different stories regarding you and I'd like to know who I'm up against."

The fair haired woman looked at her unmoved, "Well, then ask what you came here to ask."

Regina smiled satisfied. It wasn't long until she was able to eliminate Belle's story about the Ice Queen. The knot in her stomach tightened when evidences for her own story, in the small grey book with no title, piled up. It was the one she was most afraid of. Regina didn't know how to even attempt to fight her.

In the end, Regina decided to cut to the chase, "Does the name Weather Witch ring any bells?"

"My grandmother is not particularly fond of that name" the woman remarked aphonic.

Desperation filled Regina and she closed her eyes, "Why are you here?"

"I searched for her, who sees what is yet to be and gets in fate's way," the Snow Queen answered again. "I hunted her once, but found her at a time where I could not seal her fate. She tricked me and sealed me in an urn."

"Why the past tense? What changed? Are you no longer looking for her?" Regina asked wary.

The Snow Queen didn't look at her instead she kept her gaze looked into the distance. Her monotone voice wasn't loud, but every word that cut through the silence was measured.

"The threads of fate weave a fabric which pattern is determined by the decision of humans. Time is a linear construct that causes the cloth to be woven evenly. We hunt those who hinder the fabric from being woven. Humans have always tried to break the rules and change the course of time. But time and timing are dangerous - sensible. They are very few who did manage to slip through the strings and went back in time. It is much work for my grandmother and it is a breach of the rules, however it happens from time to time. If it does the fabric spun so far is dispersed. We hunters eliminate those who travel back and don't belong in said time. The pattern from this moment on starts anew, different from the one before, but it's nothing that can't be mended. The ones, who travelled back to the past, stay alive until their thread is cut and woven over so often that it can't slip out, because it has no origin anymore.

A string usually is cut once there are no more decisions to make that can influence the pattern, once the next possibilities are narrowed down to only one through their own actions. Everyone's decisions determine when they die not us - unless they interfere with other's possibilities deliberately. Then we make sure they cease to exist.

This time however things are differently. If those who want to change the past and succeed in traveling stay in the past, it's not long until they die. This time, they didn't stay, instead they came back. Therein lays the true problem. But even that could have been mended as long as they didn't cause a significant change in the pattern. However they took someone with them, someone whose thread was already cut in the first pattern. A thread cut that simply begins at a later time is like a rift in the fabric, a rift in time and timing. That cannot be mended. The rift will extent and draw everything in. This world will cease to exist and nothing will stay to remind of it, nothing but a black hole."

R&R

"Robin, tell me how are you doing?" an hour later the Charmings, the Hoods, though Marian and Roland went to the bathroom, sat at the Diner and enjoyed a large breakfast. Ruby started working her shift early after Granny kept nagging her about her age and her feet and her hip.

Robin's blue eyes were met with the sight of a sympathetic Snow, "I… Of course…"

The young woman was everything but convinced, "Robin there's no shame in admitting you're not fine with this situation."

"Is that so?" he asked in a bitter voice. "My wife was returned to me from the dead after all. I should be dancing and singing with joy."

Snow looked sad and David gave him an understanding pat on the shoulder, "Sometimes knowing what decision is the right thing to do, is not that easy." David told him and something in the way he and Snow shared a glance, made Robin believe they actually did know one thing or another about it.

Robin ruffled his hair in frustration, something he was doing quite a lot lately, "I don't know what I'm supposed to do. Marian is… but Regina…. – Marian and I we've always been happy together. Really, truly happy and I cannot believe there's nothing left of that. Don't I owe it to Marian and my marriage to try and find that bliss again?"

Neither of the Charmings knew what to answer him. David's situation had been a different one, after all. His feelings for Kathryn, his marriage to her, had never been real.

"You know, let me tell you a little story," all three head turned at the gruff voice. Granny pulled a chair up and let herself fall onto it. Clearly she had eaves dropped on them.

"Granny! You can't just go around listening in on other people's conversations," Ruby scolded, despite having dried the same cup for the past five minutes, so that she wouldn't miss a piece of what was spoken.

Widow Lucas ignored her granddaughter and stared at Robin with piercing eyes. Robin gulped dryly, and ducked his head. He had a pretty good idea, where this was going and Granny's speech about the importance of honouring ones wedding vows was most likely about to make Little John's admonishment look like child's play.

"I've meet my husband when I was still a young girl. We instantly got along and were friends long before we became lovers. It wasn't long and he made an honourable woman out of me."

"Granny, please spare me the details," Ruby whined.

Unperturbed Granny continued speaking, "We've spent wonderful years together. We had a child and we were happy. I took part in our village's council and our mayor was the biggest arse I had ever met. He was lout and pried into everything, even if it was none of his business. There was not a single meeting in which we didn't butt heads. In the evening I came home to my husband and complained about that bloke. We were so happy; I always felt I could tell him anything, until I didn't anymore. We were happy and I'm sure we could have been for the rest of our lives. We could have spent it in blissful unawareness, without either of us ever missing anything. But it wasn't supposed to be…"

"The mayor!" Snow whispered exited.

"I fell in love with him. Hopelessly and completely," Granny had a small smile on her lips.

"But I thought you hated each other?" David inserted in confused.

Granny raised an eyebrow, "Like you and Snow when you first met? Or Belle and Gold? A love that is so comprehensive, that consumes everything is dangerous. It is scary and we react to it by trying to protect ourselves from it. To love with everything we got, is a great risk that we try to avoid, until we realize that it's too late already."

"What happened next?" Snow hung on every word.

"Well, it took a very long time for me to admit it and my husband… he didn't understand what went wrong. We had always been so happy, he didn't understand. And if had never meet Benjamin… You only understand what you have been missing all along once you find it. Before meeting him I didn't know I was able to feel so deeply. If someone had asked me before that, I would have sworn on my life that my husband was my one true love. Until I met the one that proved me wrong and changed everything."

"You never told me!" Ruby said thunderstruck, shocked at the reveal that her grandmother had fallen out of love with her grandfather.

"It wasn't important," Granny said dismissingly.

"What happened to Benjamin?" Snow asked softly.

"He died. Long before the first curse hit. I was devastated but I had Red to think of, so I kept existing. Life's never been the same since," Granny got up, gave Robin one last look and made her way back behind the counter.

She left four speechless adults and a babbling baby that kept trying to reach his mother's hair behind.

Robin's every thought raced, he had just decided to give his marriage another chance – even though he didn't really know how to – but everything Widow Lucas had told him made sense. It was like she was in his head. If he hadn't met Regina, he'd probably be overjoyed to have Marian back, but Regina awakened something in him, he didn't know he could have. Briefly he wondered if he would have felt the same way, would have make the same decision as Granny if he'd meet Regina when he was still married to Marian back in the Enchanted Forest, but he dismissed the thoughts. They wouldn't get him far. However he did decide he needed to talk to Marian… and Regina.

R&R

Regina felt like all air was leaving her lungs. The Snow Queen had to be joking.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Regina pressed.

"I no longer need to find her. This world will end at any rate. Everything and everyone will get drawn in the black hole."

Black spots danced before her eyes and she felt like throwing up. This couldn't be happening – Regina thought about Henry, Roland, about Robin and Snow White with her little Neal… they would all die. She couldn't let that happen.

"I…there has to be a way to stop that!" Regina exploded, she was in the Snow Queens face moments later and stared her down with spiteful eyes. The other woman hadn't moved an inch.

"I don't know how," she answered calmly.

Regina's thoughts were all tumbled, "What if we reopen the time portal? What if we stop Emma from going to the past?"

The Snow Queen shook her head, "I do not see how repeating the same mistake can extinguish the first one. Besides that cannot happen, considering I am only here now because the seal broke after they came back."

"There has to be a way!" Regina searched her head, desperate for any option. Anything would do. A curse, a spell, a potion – anything. "Please."

"I cannot help, no matter your begging," the Snow Queen remarked unmoved.

"What about a sacrifice? Maybe we can somehow patch up the rift, hold it together like a vamp?"

"And what would that vamp be made of?"

"Magic! What if I use my magic to mend the rift?"

"Even if that worked, the rift is too large already."

"What if we opened the time portal and go back to when the rift was first caused? We can mend the small rift like that."

"Even so, I'm not sure one person's magic is enough to keep the rift from expanding or if my grandmother would accept this solution. The fabric's pattern is ruined."

"Please! I'm begging you, there has to be way," Regina pleaded, not knowing if there was anything she could do to thaw the frozen heart of the Immortal.

"Maybe, there is a way we can help each other," the Snow Queen said slowly and thoughtfully. "I failed my task. With this world ending it will naturally be fulfilled, still… I failed. I don't like that. If you shall find a way to reopen the portal and go back to when the rift first appeared, I shall help you by making the rift visible. I am able to become the rift, not for very long, but it should suffice. You will find the one I am seeking for and throw her in the rift, if you yourself jump in it as well, I believe the magic might be adequate to keep the strings together. She, who I'm searching for is a powerful sorceress as well."

Regina nodded, "Thank you. I will. Now, if you might tell me the name of the one I must find for you."

"I do not know her face, only the thread weaving through the cloth."

"Do you have a name?"

"Her name is Morgana."

R&R

* * *

**So... what did you think? Let me know.**


	6. Memories long forgotten

**Hi, I'm sorry for the confusion about last chapter. I think FF was having some problems (at least I don't think it was my account). **

**at Nemisses: I hope you were able to read it anyway. Thanks :)**

**at writeisright: Glad I managed to suprise you. It was my aim.**

**at evandarkmaga: Yes, looks pretty bad, doesn't it? **

**at Casey: I don't think it would be that easy. I mean Emma is very different from Regina, so I don't think you can transfer it 1:1. I don't think Henry hated Regina, he was just confused by everything. The problem wasn't Henry's childhood I think, because the problems only started after he found out that he was adopted. Actually I think the show potrait that well. He was wondering why his mother gave him up and let it out on Regina, thinking she didn't love him because she didn't give birth to him. And then, as much as we all love Regina, she made some mistakes with Henry, that are hard to overlook. She made him go to therapy thinking he was crazy, forced him to stay with her with magic and so on. With Emma that problem never arouse because they never had the 'you are adopted' talk. The thing is that it's only natural for a child to want to know where it came from and Regina didn't handle the situation very well because she was terrified of losing Henry. **

**I've read that story, but truthfully don't agree with it, though it has some interesting implications. I have my own soulmate/true love theory that I'll post as a one shot (hopefully before the new season starts).**

**Thanks for letting me in on your thoughts and I do hope the story won't disappoint you.**

**Thanks to everyone who took the time to review. I appreciate it.**

**I don't own anything. **

* * *

**Memories long forgotten**

Storybrooke – Present day

"Morgana? Like the witch from King Arthur? There is no one in Storybrooke with that na…" Regina stopped when suddenly a face pushed to the forefront of her mind. A face, she had forgotten, from a time where she had barely started her reign as Evil Queen. Her feet gave away and Regina hit the floor hard. "No" she whispered, "that's not possible."

The Enchanted Forest – 8 Years before the first Dark Curse

Regina lifted the black curtains of her equally black carriage to take a look outside. A scoffing smile played on her lips as her eyes took in the scenery. It hadn't been long since Leopold's death and yet she wasn't able to find Snow White. The journey she was currently undergoing had been Leopold's idea, he had made the arrangements before his sudden -Regina smiled sinisterly - death. He had wanted to strike an alliance with the kingdom of Camelot. Regina thought it a poor idea, Camelot was far from the Enchanted Forest and she saw no use in it. It did have its perks however, as her reputation had yet to reach the king's ears. There was a certain pretence she had to uphold and if only for a while. From what she heard King Arthur was not someone she looked forward meeting. He was said to abhor magic, clearly caused by his fear of it, Regina thought with amusement. Camelot was the kingdom priding itself in having the most number of burning of witches. Regina was fairly sure there weren't even as many witches in the whole realm to match the amount he let burn every year. Still, his subjects loved him dearly and talked about him only with the utmost respect.

At least his castle was rather imposing, Regina acknowledged as a servant tried to help her out of the carriage. Regina shooed him away, she was capable at doing it on her own and didn't like other people's hands on her. With steady steps Regina made her way to the large stairs.

"I welcome you warmly, Queen Regina! Allow me to offer you my deepest consolidations at your husband's recent passing," an earnest voice spoke from her right and Regina turned without batting an eyelash.

Despite never having met King Arthur she knew instantly which one of the men had to be king. He was tall, with dark black skin and held himself with an air of effortless dignity and power. Obviously he was deeply respected in the court. He was still young; maybe a few years older than herself and Regina finally understood why some of the maids in her own castle fawned over him. He was indeed a sight to behold.

"King Arthur, I presume," Regina gave him her hand and he brushed his lips over it. "Thank you for your kind words and your condolences."

"The rumours about your beauty do nothing to do you justice. You've far exceeded any expectations," the king offered her his arm.

Regina forced herself to smile before she took it. There was nothing she hated more than those false compliments royals kept throwing around… well nothing but Snow White that was.

He guided her through his castle and insisted on pointing out peculiarities and sharing anecdotes with her. It wasn't long and Regina found herself secretly admitting that his presence wasn't nearly as bad as she had feared.

"Forgive me, Queen Regina. I haven't left you a single minute to yourself since you arrived here. Would you like to freshen up, before dinner?"

"That would be highly appreciated," Regina gifted him with one of her rare true smiles.

"One of the servants shall guide you to your chamber and show you to the dining hall later," the King smiled widely and brushed his lips once again over her hand. Despite having taken a liking to him Regina was quite glad, she had kept her long dark purple gloves on.

She took her time and it was nearly two hours later when the doors to the dining halls opened. Regina found herself surprised that the king and she would not be dining alone. A third setting was placed on the table, though it was only King Arthur waiting in the room.

"Queen Regina, you look absolutely stunning," he rose from the seat and welcomed her in his already known manner, with a kiss on the hand.

Regina gave him a noncommittal smile, but left it at that. Before she could ask who the third setting was for, the door opened behind her. With mild interest Regina watched King Arthur's whole demeanour change rapidly. His eyes brightened, and his body angled himself toward whoever entered the room.

"Queen Regina, may I introduce my fiancée? This is Morgana," he crossed the room in surprising speed and stopped next to a petite woman.

She had dark locks and a skin tone somewhat lighter than the King's. Her expressive brown eyes and captivating smile made her seem even more beautiful and Regina understood instantly what the king saw in her. She was dressed simpler than the Evil Queen, in a dark green gown lacking expensive gems or ornaments.

"Queen Regina, it's a pleasure to meet you. My condolences for your loss," Morgana made a small curtsy and Regina answered with her usual, well trained empty phrases.

When the woman brushed past her and their arms touched, Regina almost recoiled from the electric current running through her. With a frown she watched the woman's back, then she remembered something Rumpelstiltskin had told her a long time ago.

"_Some people possess magic which colour is very similar to another person's. So similar even, that you can feel it. I didn't experience it myself, but then again I am the Dark One," then he had giggled in that ridiculous way of his and Regina had thought that maybe she did feel it once, when her powers were not yet fully developed. Once she had felt her mother's magic like electricity running through her veins. Like their magic reacted to each other._

Regina raised an eyebrow. _Would you look at that?_ The king that detested magic planned to marry a witch! She hadn't given him enough credit to believe he'd be able to such hypocrisy.

The evening was running smoothly and Regina contemplated giving the alliance her husband had spent planning for so long an actual chance. It wouldn't hold very long, she suspected, because as soon as King Arthur heard of her magical abilities, he'd have to breach the contract to save face in front of his subjects. At least outwardly, Regina thought mockingly, as she watched the happy couple stealing glances at each other. The king was visibly crazy for his fiancée with the touch of magic.

To Regina's delight King Arthur's chef served apple pie for desert. Not as good as her own, she decided, but still a treat. She wasn't halfway done when the doors flew open. A tall, good looking man with copper skin, dressed in the traditional clothing of a knight hurried to the king.

"My king!"

"Ah, Sir Lancelot," King Arthur replied happily and stood from his chair. "Queen Regina, may I introduce one of my most noble knights and one of my most valued warriors, Sir Lancelot."

Regina gave the man an indifferent look as he bowed to her. Secretly she wondered if all of his knights were as young as this one.

"My king, I'm afraid I come bearing bad news. One of the witches we imprisoned a few days ago broke free from the dungeon. The men are worried she will curse them," Lancelot explained.

Regina rolled her eyes, but held back any snarky remarks she had about the situation. She doubted the woman was a witch. If she indeed had been, she at least wasn't prone to be a danger; otherwise she wouldn't have been caught in the first place. She ignored the two men talking and preferred to keep her eyes on Lady Morgana instead. The woman fidgeted but kept her eyes fixed on the plate before her. She didn't however make a move to take another bite.

Was it possible that perhaps the king didn't know who he was about to marry? Regina's lips curved in a menacing smile. It appeared her first assessment had been right after all, the king was a fool.

"Forgive me for the intrusion, Queen Regina."

Regina looked up and Sir Lancelot had already left the room again. It was only the three of them, and of course the few servants tending to the royals every need.

Without waiting for her reply King Arthur went on, "Those witches are a pest. I do hope your own kingdom does not have the same problems. I can smell their dark powers a mile away and their spite causes ugly warts to blossom on their skin. We should be grateful for it however, it's god's gift to us, so that we may distinguish the witches from our own good people. But their ungodliness is despicable and downright repulsive…"

Regina's eyes narrowed and the range built up rapidly inside her. For the king it appeared to be a personal insult that any witch even dared to be born into his kingdom and he proceeded to talk himself more and more into a rage.

"… against nature, those disgusting creatures, I tell you…"

Patience was hardly a virtue of the Evil Queen and so it didn't take long and Regina had her daily fill of stupidity. She stood up slowly and penetrated the king with her gaze. With one swift hand movement everything was swept off the table and the king scurried back in shock at the realization that her hand hadn't touched anything. She then conjured a fire ball in her hands.

"I would advise you, my dear King Arthur to watch your tongue. Especially in the presence of one – how did you put it again so eloquently? – 'deformed and profane creature' like myself. You're lucky I find no interest in your wretched land or I would rip your heart from your chest," she smiled at the terror in his eyes. Regina turned around and the double-door opened with magic. At the frame she stopped and threw one last look over her shoulder, a repulsively sweet smile played on her lips. "And I would particularly restrain myself if _I_ was on the verge of taking such a creature to my martial bed."

Storybrooke – Present time

"Gold! Belle! Have you seen Regina?" Emma asked loudly and her voice echoed through the Diner. The newlyweds that just entered crossed the room to quell Emma's yelling.

It was late afternoon already and Regina should have been there to let them know, if her continued search in the vault had gotten any results. Her parents, as well as Granny, Doctor Hopper, Hook and Robin with his wife, that seemed glued to him, were already present for the meeting. Usually Regina was overly punctual and everyone that arrived after she did, even if it was by only thirty seconds was late in her book.

Belle gasped and grabbed Gold's arm tightly, "Oh, no!"

Robin's heart picked up several paces, something wasn't right. Where was Regina? If something happened to her… The air ran out and he couldn't breathe, in panic he threw off Marian's grasp and leaped up.

"Where is Regina?" he yelled aggressively.

"She came by very early this morning," Belle hurried to explain. "She didn't want to tell what she had found, but she kept asking questions and…" she stilled and Robin read the unspoken apology from her eyes. But it didn't mean anything, nothing if something happened to Regina. His heart stopped.

"She…Regina, she said it was time for a Queen-to-Queen."

The air was drawn from his lungs, red clouded his vision and he wanted to vomit and hurt someone at the same time. Rumpelstilstkin being top of the 'about-to-get-punched-list', how could he let Regina go just like that?

Emma and Snow had gotten up as well. "She did what?!" and "Oh my god" were said, but Robin heard nothing but the ringing in his ears.

"Why would she do that? She has to know that this is suicide," Emma said and her own heart bled at the thought of what she would have to tell Henry if Regina didn't make it back. Her hand reached out for Kilian, who had gotten up as well, to give her support if needed.

He had known - Robin felt the nausea hitting him, caused by guilt and impotence. He had known Regina didn't value her life; he had known and done absolutely nothing. John had been wrong, the thought came suddenly and strangely out of context, but it was clear nonetheless. He couldn't give his marriage a second chance; there hadn't been a chance, once he let Regina in his life for no one other than her. If something had happened to her… Robin didn't know how he could live on.

"I don't understand why she didn't talk to any of us? Why does she keep thinking she has to do everything on her own?" Snow fought tears, from anger or from worry, not even she was able to tell. Immediately David offered her some solace by stepping closer.

"Ah, isn't it obvious? It was a lesson taught to our dear Queen often and time and time again – if nothing else by myself as well. She trusts no one but herself, learned that she couldn't rely on anyone, but herself. A painful lesson indeed," Gold caught Robin's eyes briefly and giggled.

The implication hit Robin with brutal, unrelenting force. Because the Dark One was wrong, Regina had trusted him, opened up to him, relied on him, and he had thrown it back in her face. His feet wouldn't hold him up much longer, but Robin couldn't think. Everything was empty and dark and red before his eyes. His heart didn't beat any longer and he still simply couldn't breathe. And suddenly Robin was mad, so very, very mad. He wanted to take the imp and toss him into the nearest wall, to hit him with his bare hands over and over. The imp had known what Regina planned to do, what could happen if he let her leave and he had done it anyway.

"You…" Robin's voice was dangerously calm and deadly. "You let her go. You just let her go." Robin took a few steps closer to him.

If Gold didn't have magic at his disposal, he would have shrunk back, turned around and made a run for it. Robin looked ready to kill and tear Gold apart limb from limb. Something he was most likely able to do, based by physical appearance only. His blue eyes were dark with fury.

The door to the Diner opened but no one paid much attention to it, least of all Robin. Only when he heard Snow White call out Regina's name did he twist around so fast, he almost broke his neck.

"Regina!" Snow sailed by and threw herself in her stepmother's arm, who looked more shocked than anything at the weight suddenly added to her form.

Robin's eyes widen in disbelief at seeing Regina completely unharmed and seemingly fine standing in the Diner. Regina herself seemed to recover from the shock and looked very displeased at the enthusiastic welcome hug she had received. Abrasively Regina tried to free herself from the fierce embrace.

It was pure instinct that made Robin angled his body to her and his feet started off in her direction. He had to know for sure that she was fine, had to take her into his arms and never let go. He only became aware of the distance he had covered - he had already crossed the Diner halfway - when he was pulled back by the arm.

He nearly pushed back the person responsible merciless, but recognized Marian's face just in time. He disengaged more carefully but still firmly and turned to Regina, who in the meantime had succeeded to pry Snow off of her. Marian grabbed him again, by his shirt this time.

"What do you want with her?" she asked in a suffocated whisper and Robin felt his consciousness rebel. He had to talk to Marian before he was able to do what he desired to another. Meaining they had to talk as soon as possible. He could have almost lost Regina today, and he would be damned if next time he wasn't right next to her when she did something reckless again.

It took all his restrained, but he held back begrudgingly. For now he settled for drinking her in with his eyes. It was a black suit today, accenting every curve she had, and Robin had to wonder whether she dressed like that just to torture him. Her lips weren't as red as usual; instead they appeared to be left untouched by any cosmetics, which Robin preferred. She looked younger but her stature was as regal as ever. She ruled the room with her elegance and Robin found himself mesmerized with her.

"Regina, what happened? Did…" Snow White swallowed the rest of her questions at Regina's lifted hand that indicated she was going to talk now.

"I may have found something. I think Gold's story about the Snow Queen was a very educated guess but I'd like to find more proof," Regina took in the room and her eyes glided over every person.

It was like a bucket full of ice water, when Regina's eyes skipped over him, like he was just another person in the room.

"I would like to build… teams," she said with a sneer. "Gold, David and I will follow my hint, while the rest of you go to the library. I want you to look for something called 'Eternal Flame'. – Sir of Locksley!" When Regina turned to Robin, he was desperate to catch her eyes. He wanted one glimpse, that was it, he needed her to look at him so that she may understand all the things he couldn't yet tell her: That he was so, so very glad, she was fine, that he missed her deeply and that he loved her desperately.

Regina went on impassively, "I would like to ask you and your… Merry Men," there was that sneer again "…to guard the borders to the forest. No one should try to go in there. The Snow Queen created a giant ice castle in there, I don't want anyone to go there and stupidly end up injured or dead."

Robin nodded, he wasn't happy about not being able to stay with her, but saw her reasoning. Besides he had to talk to Marian.

"I could come with you as well, Regina. It…"

Regina interrupted Emma harshly, "Miss Swan, thank you very much for your input. But I did choose the groups how I see them fit, since I know the situation best. And I would prefer, if you wouldn't question my every decision and imply that I act only with an ulterior motive. There is a reason as to why I need only two people."

The blonde wanted to protest, however her mother calmed her with an understanding hand on her shoulder. Then Emma closed her mouth again.

"Good, since that is resolved. Gentlemen, if we may?" Regina gestured at David and Gold.

David was taken aback by her rush, but nodded and got up. Gold on the other hand, looked at Regina with calculated eyes, almost distrustfully, before he joined David.

"Very well," and before anyone could utter another word, Regina marched out of the Diner, sure that the men would follow soon enough.

David sighed and kissed his wife a quick goodbye before he hurried after Regina. Gold followed as well, after he assured Belle with a tightening grasp on her hand before heading out.

The Enchanted Forest – 8 years before the first Dark Curse

The dungeon was cold and dark and dirty, the ground was void expect for a few straws of litter. Morgana laid there with dirt and tears crusting her face. It had almost been a week since Arthur had let her get thrown inside the dungeon. Not a day and not a night had gone by in which she hadn't screamed, begged and cried for Arthur to come for her, for him to see her one more time. But the doors stayed locked. Morgana had no tears left, she could have cried. After pain, anger had followed. She hated Arthur for what he did to her. It wasn't her fault she was born with these blasted powers, hadn't asked for it, and didn't want them. But she loved him, couldn't find it in herself not to love him and she couldn't hate him. So her anger twisted and turned and it turned to someone else. The Queen that ruined her life.

Morgana would destroy her, the same way the Queen had destroyed Morgana. She would take everything from her, like the Queen took everything from Morgana. The Queen would be the one lying in the dirt and begging for mercy, but nothing, **nothing**, would stop Morgana from getting her revenge – her justice.

Two days from now would she get burned, Morgana knew. She and the other women condemned witches would be burned. She had to take that one opportunity to make a run for it. She had been too distraught when she was first arrested, still filled with hope Arthur would understand, see that he was making a mistake. And she couldn't escape from the dungeon, it was built to keep users of magic in, build by an ancient sorcerer long before Arthur's time with the name of Merlin. She couldn't get out, her only chance to flee was once they thought her defeated.

She had to leave Arthur behind. _He left you behind, he left you and stabbed you in the back. He cast you out and didn't even care, _Morgana thought bitterly. But it wasn't him she hated. She would seek vengeance and take revenge on the Queen. She wouldn't rest before the Queen was destroyed. And maybe one day she would find her way back to Arthur's side, but not before she shattered the Queen.

Morgana tried to even out her irregular breathing. In order to defeat your enemy it was of utmost importance to know everything there was about him, it was something that Arthur had taught her once. Magic wasn't the only gift she had been given. It hadn't happened often so far, but a few times in her life had she had something like a premonition about what was going to be, sometimes even a vision of a future. They had been hazy and hard to understand, most of the time she had only understood her visions after they come true. If only she could see the Queens future, she would know what meant something to the Queen and she would take it from her piece by piece until she had nothing left. But first she had to find a way to flee from here.

The next two days passed with no trace of Arthur and despite having lost hope, it still hurt Morgana deeply. She remembered how his eyes turned cold, the same eyes that used to light up and were filled with warmth just for her. She remembered how he looked at her with disgust; how he accused her of bewitching him in order to ascend the throne. Tears clouded her vision and she blinked furiously to rid herself of them.

Her face was unmoving as stone when she was led to the place where four stakes were waiting for her and the other three witches. She didn't let her tears fall when she was chained to the wooden post, her attention had to be focused. She needed to wait for the right moment. She had to wait to make everyone think the fire had devoured her, if not they would search for her and maybe the Queen would hear and be warned.

She felt agonizing heat arise and forced herself to stay calm, even when the panicked and tormented screams of the other women reached her ears. The flames were too low, but if she waited any longer they would burn her feet. So Morgana channelled her energy, the flames darted higher suddenly and Morgana heard some faint yelling's of surprise from the audience. Then she disappeared sheltered from everyone's eyes by the flames, in a cloud of red smoke.

EQ

It took more than a year for Morgana to start acting on her plan. She might have to make some things up as they went, depending on her visions, but she wasn't willing to wait any longer. Her time had been spent, trying to control her seer powers better. Her visions kept being unfocused, unclear and often had nothing to do with the Queen. She had learned to block out every other thought and focus solely on the Queen. And even if she had visions with the Queen in them, it was hard to tell the future by it. She didn't know what time they would come true, what had happened before or after, they were foggy and often Morgana didn't know what to do with them.

She had covered a large distance and Camelot was far from where she resided. Still the pain lingered with her always. The only relief she found, was her hatred for the Queen. Revenge had become her life's purpose and sometimes if she indulged in it deeply enough, even the pain and thoughts of Arthur dulled.

Morgana had started to think it hopeless, the Queen hadn't anything she loved enough to really hurt her, nothing to lose it appeared. Funny how similar they were, Morgana mused. The Queens life consisted of revenge as much as her own did. In another life they might have been friends. The only thing that meant anything to the Queen, other than her quest to kill Snow White, was her father and that wasn't enough to compensate for Morgana's pain. Just when she was about to lose all hope, she had a vision, an unusual clear one at that.

A prisoner was brought to the Queen, untamed, fair haired and with a snarky attitude… the vision swam and was replaced with another picture. The Queen kissing her former prisoner under an apple tree, throwing her head back and laughing loudly… More and more pictures pierced Morgana's mind. When Morgana opened her eyes next a threatening smile appeared on her lips. It appeared a happy ending was waiting for the Queen if she didn't prevent it from happening.

So Morgana concentrated her vision on the unknown man and the snippets she got about him were enough for her. She forged a plan that would thrust the Queen in an abyss and ensure that she was going to spend the rest of her life in darkness and loneliness.

Morgana didn't waste any more time, she had to get going. The place she needed to be was far, only marginally closer than Camelot but west from where she was – not north. For a second she allowed her mind to wander to Arthur and excruciating pain was her reward for it. Her heart bled and she was grateful to have learned to supress visions when needed. She had trained hard for it, and was no longer tortured by visions of the life that could have been, if it wasn't for the Queen. The most important part was to channel her thoughts and subdue anything that kept her from her goal. She squashed any thought of the man she loved more than anything and started to walk down the path of vengeance.

EQ

Her long brown locks sprung freely around her shoulders every time she went on her toes to look over the crowd. She needed an approach to the man from her vision that would enable her to keep the Queen in misery and the other man she was looking for made it possible to reach the first one. She knew he'd come today, she had stayed in the village for a few weeks already and the people here liked to talk. She had heard many things about him. He visited the village every few months and for some time rumours were he'd be by today and Morgana felt it in her gut. Today was the day.

She had made an effort to get accepted into the community, taken on a new name and made up a heart-breaking story about a heartless king who had banished her for some bogus reason. Every lie worked better, if a part of it was true, Morgana knew. It didn't take the townspeople long to welcome her as one of their own. Now she only had to catch the man's eyes, but she was hardly worried about that. She was aware of her beauty and grace; Arthur never hid how attractive he found her and showered her with compliments. For a moment she struggled to keep her composure and fought with tears.

She spotted the man he was looking for on the other side of the street. He was fairly attractive she supposed. Sleek black hair, too long for her taste but he had a strong built and the shadow around his chin made him look manly. But she had no interest in such profane superficialities. With her head bowed she made her way over to him, slowly but steadily.

When the man stepped to the right, he bumped into her and she fell to the floor –just as she had planned.

"Watch where you're going!" he bellowed and she looked up embarrassed and stumbling over the words to apologize.

She saw the moment his eyes took her in and it hadn't been by chance that she had picked the dress with the lowest-cut for the occasion.

Her big brown eyes locked with his and her cheeks reddened. Quickly and feigning embarrassment she averted her eyes, "I'm terribly sorry, my lord. I didn't see you. Please forgive me," she whispered making sure he could hear the vulnerability in her voice.

As expected the man helped her to her feet and his features changed to a friendly expression that did nothing to hide his lust for her. "No, no, fair maiden. It was entirely my fault. I can't believe I have overlooked a beauty like yourself."

She giggled and batted her long eyelashes, "You flatter me, my lord."

"Excuse my manners! I am the king's humble servant and he assigned me to watch over this land, I am the Sheriff of Nottingham. What name may fit a beauty such as you?"

"Marian. My name is Marian."

EQ

* * *

**So? I hope that explained why I thought it important to put up Chapter 2.**

**Tell me what you think!**


	7. What goes around

**at Casey: I'm so happy I could suprise you. And I'm really happy that you got, where I am going with it and picked up on the parallel. I don't think Morgana is more evil, she's just as lost as Regina, if anything she just went about it more precise than Regina, and with less casualties, but more personal ones. About Roland... you'll just have to keep reading. And no... he's Robin's and Marian's son, she really went all the way to get what she wanted, but it'll be explained later. Thank you very much.**

**at aprilf00l: Thank you very much. Not everyone has the same taste, but I'm glad you enjoyed it. Thank you for reviewing.**

**at SuperSabs: Ah, thanks. I hope you'll keep reading.**

**at Guest: Thank you, glad you liked the twist. Hope you'll keep being entertained.**

**Thanks to everyone who review.**

**I don't own anything.**

* * *

**What goes around…**

Rumpelstiltskin waited until the three of them were out of earshot before grabbing Regina by her arms. He turned her so that she'd face him, "What are you up to?"

"Not here," Regina snapped back. But her strict performance fell off of her and she looked over the Dark One's shoulder nervously. "David, your apartment is empty, right?"

The man nodded puzzled, "Yeah, sure. Henry and Neal are with Ruby. She's watching…" he didn't get to end to sentence before Regina had grabbed him and Gold and next thing he knew, he ended the sentence while already standing in his and Snow's apartment, "…them."

"Now, dearie, if you'd be so kind as to tell us, what your scene in the Diner was about. 'Eternal Flame'? We both know such a thing doesn't exist," Gold started and his eyes narrowed at his former student.

"Wait… What?!" David looked even more confused now.

"I know, but you'll understand once I told you what's really going on," she sighed and let all pretences fall from her body. It didn't matter anymore anyway. Suddenly she looked old, tired and incredibly fragile. With abrupt clearness David recalled Robin's worries about Regina's eating habits.

"Let's take a seat," the prince suggested. Mainly the idea was caused by the worry Regina may collapse any second now. He found his concern affirmed when she let herself sink down at the table without a word of objections.

The men followed her lead and Regina begun talking with a resigned and tired voice. She told them how she found the book with no title, how she went to Gold and then of her encounter with the Queen. She told them how Emma's and Hook's little time adventure had caused a rift in time, how the rift would draw them in eventually and end this world. She didn't tell them about Morgana, knew she had to sooner or later, but one shock at a time.

"You're joking, right?" David laughed nervously. "I mean, apocalypse, the end of the world? That can't be … that simply can't be right…" he ran his fingers through his hair.

Even the Dark One himself wasn't sure how to react to Regina's revelation. He wanted to doubt her, wanted to think her theory bogus, wanted her to be lying, but he knew she was telling the truth. If her stoic face wasn't proof enough, then there were still the whispered he had heard about the Immortals and everything Regina told them fit with what he heard.

"Wait a second. Why didn't you say so in the Diner? I mean, yes it would have caused panic but why pick me and Gold specifically?" David was at loss, he was desperately looking for another explanation. He wouldn't have been surprise if Regina had only talked to Gold about it, but why include him?

"Because there's something else to the story," Gold explained and turned to the Queen.

Regina gulped dryly and nodded. She closed her eyes and tried to keep the tears at bay, but all for naught. She allowed herself a minute to indulge in weakness, because what did it matter now? She was tired and afraid, and she was done pretending. Then she took a deep breath , wiped off her tears and got a grip on herself.

Neither man knew how to react to her breakdown. Seeing the Queen weak, was nothing either of them were used to, one not at all and the other not for decades. Neither wanted to think about what it meant for everyone, how dire the situation had to be, if Regina had given up keeping up her strong front. With their thoughts venturing down dark paths they were surprise at Regina's next utterance.

"There might be a way to stop it," Regina took a shuddering breath. "The Snow Queen herself didn't know if it would work, but we have to try, if not all is lost. The rift in time… it might be possible to keep it together with magic, however at current time it is already too large for that to work. She said maybe if we manage to mend it when it was caused we might be able to save this world. We need to reopen the time portal for that, go back to last week, the day your daughter and the pirate ventured down memory lane."

David frowned, "Why not go back further and prevent Emma from going back?"

"That was my first thought as well," Regina agreed. "But the Snow Queen wouldn't allow us to go back that far, her liberation was only possible through the time travel and we can't undo anything that involves the Immortals. Nothing about them can be changed."

"If you don't mind me asking, dearie. How do you plan to mend the rift?" Rumpelstiltskin asked interested.

"The Snow Queen deemed that two powerful creatures of magic should be enough…"

"And you were thinking about the two of us?" Gold asked in disbelief. As if he would shoulder the mess of another. Emma Swan had powers herself, he didn't care about Regina but he would not sacrifices himself, if Emma was the one causing it and as long as she was able to stop it.

"No. I thought about myself and… You've asked for the reason I couldn't talk openly in the Diner?" she didn't get further because David interrupted angrily and demanded to know if she was thinking about Emma.

"First of all," Regina regarded him coldly, "if I did think about your precious daughter I'd be more than justified, considering it's her mess that we're trying to clean up here. And secondly you would do well letting me talk for now. It's not Emma that's going through the rift with me." Regina took a deep breath; her vulnerability was back in seconds. "There's… someone else. I found out only today… from the Snow Queen. She… she carries out her revenge against me. She is a seer and apparently she managed to figure out quite a few things, including Emma's little vacation and…"

"The Outlaw's wife?" Gold raised both eyebrows. He rolled his eyes at David's blank face. "She was the one Emma brought back and who else profited from it? Besides what better vengeance than to destroy the Queen's happiness."

"But Marian helped Snow and…"

"Morgana. Her name is Morgana."

David took a sharp intake of breath, "The witch from King Arthur's tale? She took Marian's form then?"

Regina's body went rigid, "That would be one theory, I suppose."

Dumbfounded the prince stared at her, "You can't seriously be trying to tell me, that Marian never existed, that this Morgana person made her up and…" he stopped when the tears started to leak from Regina's eyes uncontrollably.

"What the hell…" David felt a numb feeling starting from his stomach.

"So, the woman, who came asking me for information, the one with the urn? That was Morgana or Marian in disguise?"

Regina shrugged helplessly. She couldn't know for sure.

Gold seemed more impressed than shocked, "That was a very long plan. Perfectly executed. I wonder though… what happened in the original time line. Morgana faked her death as Marian. Did she really allow herself to be executed the first time around?"

"The first time around never happened, right?" David looked around unsure. "This time travel thing is so confusing."

"According to the Snow Queen," Regina started out tonelessly. She stopped trying to wipe the tears from her face and they fell freely from her cheeks, "Morgana prevented Robin and I from meeting time and time again over the years. That's why she was hunted by the Snow Queen in the first place. For cutting down Robin's choices. Her appearance caused the rift, which is why she has to go either way. It's our luck, I suppose, that she possess magic, otherwise we'd need someone else with magic. That way, her and I should be enough to kit the rift."

"Why would she try to stop you and Robin from meeting?" David asked.

"To make sure I didn't get my happy ending. Robin's my soulmate apparently," Regina saw no use to hide the truth anymore.

"How come the Snow Queen wasn't able to get to her? I mean she is an Immortal," the prince didn't just want to accept the obvious truth. He still didn't understand.

"Morgana's a seer. She's powerful and smart and when the Snow Queen got to her she was pregnant with Roland. A new tread of life, the Snow Queen wasn't allowed to cut."

The next minutes were spent in eerie silence. Everyone needed some time to process what they just heard.

"I should call Snow, she has to know," David said finally and Regina had slapped the mobile from his hand before he was able to comprehend what happened.

"You will do no such thing!" she told him darkly. "Not one word that was spoken will leave this room!"

"Regina, I know that you and Snow…"

"Our relationship has nothing to do with this. She couldn't keep a secret once and she will not be able to keep it now!" Regina insisted vehemently.

"She was a child back then. She only wanted…"

"…to do that right thing? Like your daughter? Need I remind you that we're in this mess because of your precious princess?" Regina sighed tiredly. "David, if you can tell me right now – if you can promise me that Snow will keep this to herself, then fine – call her. But can you be sure that nothing of it will show on her face? On her behaviour? That she'll be able to lie to everyone's faces? That she'll be able to smile at Mor…Marian and go get coffee with her like nothing happened? Believe it or not, but I'm trying to protect her with by keeping it from her. But if you think she can handle that – fine. If that's what you believe, **Prince James**," Regina held the phone out to him and David averted his gaze.

Regina was right. Despite everything that happened, Snow was still pure and innocent. Even if she didn't want to, it would show somehow. Maybe in the way she'd look at Marian or maybe in her empathy for Robin or maybe in the way she'd keep everyone dear to her close, but it would show. Lying and deceiving others simply wasn't in her nature.

"What do you propose?" he asked instead.

Regina turned to Gold, "We need to reopen the time portal. How long do you need to spin enough gold to represent your brain?"

"If I start tonight? I should be finished tomorrow evening," any trace of ridicule had vanished from his voice. Even the Dark One understood the gravity of the situation.

"Good, that mean we also need…" Regina turned back to David uncertain.

"My sword, I get it. And your heart, which hopefully you still carry around and…" he stopped abruptly and his jaw tightened. "No! Regina, you can't expect me to put my son in danger!"

"And what do you propose we do instead? David, this is our only chance!"

"I know but… can you guarantee that nothing will happen to him?"

Regina's eyes softened, she understood what David was going through. Her mind wandered to Henry and Roland… if something happened to either of them…

"No, I can't promise that, David. But I can guarantee this: If we don't do it, Neal won't have any future, but if we do, if we succeed, nothing of this will have happened. The Snow Queen, you lying to Snow, your son in danger… nothing of it will come true and he'll be just fine," she said earnestly.

David ran both hands over his face, "Tomorrow night, then?"

"We have to ensure, that they are busy, like they are tonight. Morgana cannot suspect anything, or it will all be in vain. So do not let it show!" Regina slipped back into the strong woman she had always been. When she stood up, it was a signal that the conversation was finished.

"Regina, wait!" David grabbed her hand after Gold had disappeared in his cloud. "Emma caused this, I… it doesn't feel right, that she doesn't even know of the consequences of her actions."

Regina simply looked at him for a heartbeat, "It doesn't matter. Even if we tell her, this future hopefully will never come true and it will all be forgotten, even by myself. Besides I rather she'd not mess this up as well. She never had to face the consequences of her action, why should anything change now?"

"Regina, I just want you to know, Snow and I we don't agree with Emma's action," David told her solemnly. "We understand she was trying to do what was right, but we also know it wasn't her place. Regina we are sorry, even before any of this happened."

Regina nodded, "Do not tell her, David. Emma has fucked up enough… you own me this in the very least."

Then she disappeared in her own purple smoke, leaving a dejected David behind.

R&R

Robin stared blankly into space from the tree stump he was sitting on. He had to talk to Marian, but it seemed impossible to find time. After they had departed in front of the Diner, he had instructed his men and taken the night shift. Marian would probably be gone by the time he went to sleep, eating breakfast with Snow White and then they'd go back to the library where they would spent the day looking for any clues about that fire-thingy. And when she came back to the camp he'd most likely already left for guard duty. Robin let his head fall back on the hard bark behind him. He could only hope the Snow-Queen-Situation would get figured out fast; otherwise he might do something he would regret. It was strange, he mused, she hadn't made a single move to attack any of them. Not that she had to, the cold got worse every day and fought her fight. She was also winning. It wouldn't be long and the Merry Men wouldn't be able to stay out for more than an hour without getting frost bite.

He let his thoughts wander to Regina, like they always did eventually. Robin smiled a bitter smile. It should have been easy to reconnect with Mariana and rebuilt their marriage. Considering the circumstances it should have been easy. Regina and he had only started seeing each other a few weeks prior and that was hardly enough time to fall so madly in love with someone. If one didn't count the missing year they didn't even know each other that long. No longer being able to spend time with Regina should have been easy; she shouldn't have been able to imprint herself in his heart that intently in such short time. He should have forgotten about their time together when Marian entered his life once again. He should not desire Regina like he did, to pine after her with such intensity. But the longer he didn't see her, didn't have her at his side, the more he fell in love with her. He missed her physically. It was crazy and Robin couldn't explain it, didn't have anything he could compare these feelings with. He thought about Widow Lucas' story and how right the old woman was. If it had been anyone other than Regina and Marian would have been returned to him, he didn't doubt for a second that he would have done his utmost to resume his marriage where they left off. But not when Regina was in the picture.

Robin smiled, she was the stubborn and wilful, and the most complicated woman he had ever met. She drove him crazy, made him behave foolish and only she managed to flare his temper up as much. He thought back to the year they had spent in the Enchanted Forest. The place she was closest to behave like the Evil Queen. But even there he had felt it - the pull towards her at every moment, the appeal she had in his eyes and that he couldn't deny if he wanted to. Her wit and bold mouth had irritated him, tempted him and often enough he had allowed her to draw him in and retort her brashness with his own. He had loved it, especially when he knew he'd won and she bristled and got angry. He was allured by it and sometimes he had only contradicted her, so that she'd look at him, to feel her hot gaze on him and have her attention, even if it was accompanied with an insult.

And sometimes, sometimes Robin swore he was able to see a glimmer in her eyes. He grinned full now, in Storybrooke when they were having breakfast together, she had made waffles and he had drowned them in chocolate sauce, he had asked her about it. Regina had admitted that she tried everything to ignore him as much as she was able to, because he was 'distracting me with your stupid dimples and that silly grin'. Of course what Robin heard was more along the lines of 'with your incredibly sexy dimples and ridiculous attractive and charming smile' and he had told her as much. Regina had smiled and kissed him instead of replying.

The smile fell from Robin's face. He could pinpoint the moment he fell hopelessly in love with her, the moment in which he realized she was the only one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. On their last evening before… On the last evening they had spent together, she had allowed him to see all of her. She had allowed him to see beneath the mask of the cold, stone-hearted Evil Queen and beneath the carefully arranged façade of Regina Mills, mayor of Storybrooke. She wasn't just bold and audacious, cheeky and full of wit, she was the most vulnerable person he ever met. A woman who couldn't believe anyone would ever love her, that she was worth being loved. A woman who had transferred all her pain and suffering onto someone else because she would have perished otherwise. A woman who was terrified of opening up to someone. And Robin had felt so blessed that she chose him to trust and open up to and he had promised himself that he would never let harm befall her again.

Only he had. He could feel it in every cell of her body, feel that the pain he was carrying wasn't just his own. Regina was suffering and he caused it. She was afraid, petrified he knew. He didn't know why, of what she was so terrified of, but he knew. And he needed her back, needed her to know he'd be there.

Today he had thought he might have lost her – had gotten a task of how it would feel to truly lose her forever. After Marian's death he had been able to resume living, it had hurt and it had taken time, but he had started to live again, had laughed and found happiness. Even before Regina he had been content with life, but after knowing how it felt to have her by his side… He had to get her back. If he lost Regina, he didn't know how he'd survive it. He'd still have Roland to think about, but life without Regina was simply an existence.

R&R

The day passed excruciatingly slow. At least that's how David saw it. Snow had asked him what they found and he had lied to her, told her they found nothing yet, but would try again tonight. He despised lying to her but he had to. Regina was right, his wife would let something slip, not on purpose, never on purpose, but she would. And if only with hesitance where before there wouldn't have been any. David himself wasn't happy about letting Snow go to meet her; it was especially hard to pretend when Snow handed Neal over to Marian, or rather Morgana. And now that he opened his eyes, he saw indications that he had overlooked before, like how Roland avoided his mother as much as he could.

They were eating dinner, Henry, Emma, Snow himself, with Marian on the same table. Henry tried to stay neutral, but sometimes David caught him glaring at Marian – Morgana he reminded himself. It was hard for his grandson not to put the blame on Emma, Marian or Robin, but he tried and David admired Henry's strength.

After dinner everyone, but him would go back to the library. The door chimed and Regina entered the Diner, David caught her glance as she made her way to the counter. Gold had been missing the whole day and Belle had told them, that he was working on something that had to do with Regina's hunch. David knew this to be true, but he couldn't figure out if Gold had told Belle the truth. If he had, then the woman was a better actress than he would have given her credit for.

David looked at Regina again and nodded imperceptibly at her. Ruby had taken Neal for the night and David would pick him up and bring him to the farm house where Gold and Regina would be waiting. He still wasn't happy at the danger his son could be in, but if Regina succeeded – and every fibre in his being prayed for it – none of this will have happened.

"Are you alright? You're all tensed up," Snow stroke his cheek and David enjoyed the feeling of her fingers.

"I'm fine, it's just…" it wouldn't hurt to put the truth in a lie, "…I'm worried. What if something happens to Neal or Emma? What if we can't win this time?"

Snow smiled at him, a smile full of trust and assurance, "Hey, and I thought I was the pessimistic one. Aren't you the one who always says, we'll find a way? And we will, we always have, together."

David wrested a pained smile from his lips. This time "together" would mainly consist of Regina.

It was time, Snow and the rest made their way over to the library and David and Regina started walking towards the pawn shop, claiming to pick up Gold. David nodded at Regina, made a sharp turn and went to pick up Neal.

Every second that he held his son safely in his arm, was a gift and he was tempted to slow his steps, but there wasn't time for any of that. Morgana could get a vision any given moment and everything would be busted, the worry caused him to haste and before long he found the abandoned farm house.

"Good, you're here," without further delay Regina pushed her hand into her chest and pulled out her heart. She arranged it carefully on the floor, Gold's brain and his sword already in place, "then we can get started."

David took a deep breath then he set down the carrier, kneeled down to give his son a kiss to the forehead and took a few steps back. Gold would open the portal, Regina would grab her heart and jump in and… and then there was nothing they could do anymore. It all depended on Regina.

Minutes ticked by and all attempts to open the portal were for naught. With every passing minute David's hope sank and Regina's frustration grew. Gold was at loss and it looked more and more hopeless.

"Make a goddamn effort, imp," Regina sputtered. Gold looked as if he wanted to burn her to a crisp.

"Would you like to try in my stead? Zelena was after all your sister," he shot back, "but of course she was stronger and more talented than you."

Regina took a few threatening steps in his direction and David saw it fit to intervene and calm them down. No one saw how or when it happened but while they were still arguing, the portal lit up suddenly. Neal started to wail and David had to fight every instinct in him to not run to his son immediately.

Gold didn't waste another moment and started to support the portal with his magic and direct the time frame. Regina waited until it had stabilized, then she grabbed her heart and sprinted into it. David didn't wait any longer and got his son safely into his arms. Immediately he tried to calm the whimpering infant.

"Gold!" he yelled through the barn. "Close the portal!"

Rumpelstilstkin's answer would have most likely been anything but nice, however he was too busy trying to close the portal. Perfect, the thought shot through his mind, first the thing doesn't open and now it refuses to close. Even when David pulled the brain away, the situation remained unchanged.

R&R

Only the silent rustle of a page being turned disrupted the peaceful silence in the library. Snow, Belle, Marian and Emma had turned every book twice already; at least that's what it felt like.

"I'm starting to think, this 'eternal flame' doesn't even exist," Emma's voice resonated loudly in the silence. "Whenever it is mentioned it always ends up being a lie, or a legend or something like that."

"Every legend has a true core," Snow reminded her. "We can't lose hope."

Emma sighed and picked up the next book. Marian gave her an understanding smile; Emma rolled her eyes and Marian supressed a laugh. She had heard of the flame but always assumed it was a legend or a lie. The Queen had either to be very desperate or naïve to believe in its existence. Still the presence of the Snow Queen was a cause for worry. Tomorrow her week was up and she didn't know how to escape her clutches this time.

R&R

The Enchanted Forest – Five years before the first Dark Curse

Morgana let her hand rest on her stomach. She had accepted that she was pregnant but feeling the tiny baby bump made it all the more real. She didn't know how to feel about the baby. On one hand this was hers, it was growing inside her and she loved it, but on the other hand it was proof that the nightmare she was living was real. She had lost Arthur and was bearing the child of a man she didn't love. She had sacrificed everything for revenge, gone all the way for her vengeance.

She had lost count of the times in which she had interfered with Robin meeting the Queen. It appeared that fate wanted them to meet and Morgana had to resort to dark measures from time to time, even going so far as to poison a few of the men to keep Robin from leaving for a certain mission. She had ensured they made it through of course, cementing her bond with them, ensuring their loyalty.

Though for some time now she felt a dark shadow looming over her. She was plagued by visions of ice and snow and kept chanting, used curses to keep whoever was after her away and laid wrong trails. The feeling of dread lessened in the company of others, so she made sure to always surround herself with others. Only now that her protection spell started to fade, did she venture out to renew it.

"You cannot outrun me forever," a cold voice said from behind and Morgana twirled around. "I came to pass judgment upon those who decrease other people's choices, as you have done."

Petrified Morgana watched the blonde woman; she wasn't able to move an inch.

The woman reached out for her, then she flinched back, "A new thread is growing inside you."

The woman turned from her and in a whirl of snow and ice she was gone. Morgana fell to her knees, her body was shaking and she hugged her middle. She didn't understand much, but what she did understand was that there was only one reason as to why she was still alive… the baby - which meant she had about seven months to find out what to do to lengthen her life span.

…

She stumbled over the urn on accident. Five months had passed since her encounter with the Snow Queen. She had figured it all out, the Immortals, the Elementaries and the Hunters. She even found a way to seal the Snow Queen, thanks to her seer abilities, only for that she needed an ancient artefact. There were only a few of them left, crafted by the Weather Witch herself. One brooch, an urn and a vase - that was it. The trouble was getting her hands on one. And even then, Morgana didn't know if she had the power to seal her.

And then one night, Robin and his men came back from a raid. They had stolen from a carriage that was on its way to King Midas and the urn just fell from one of sacks. Morgana couldn't believe her luck. She was seven months along and time was running out, and then she found it by pure luck.

Now she only needed to trap the Snow Queen – she needed a plan.

A few weeks later she had memorized the spell and her hands clutched the urn tightly under her clothes. She had walked from the camp and started to call out once she was away far enough.

"I will not show mercy, if that is what you want," Morgana watched as the Snow Queen materialized before her. She was glad that the Immortals could only see the past and weave the present but the future was unknown to them.

"I don't," Morgana hesitated then she thrust he urn forward, "I have something that belongs to your grandmother, Mother Hulda. I thought she may want it back."

The Snow Queens eyes took the urn in, "Indeed. Though why would you give it back?"

"I'm not asking for you to spare me, but… once my child is born, may I have a moment with it?" Morgana lied, her body shaking.

The Snow Queen regarded her coolly, " Very well." She reached out to take hold of the urn and in the second when she touched the urn, Morgana started chanting. She knew she had only one shot at it, they both had to touch the artefact and if Morgana let go, it would be over.

With a yelp she let go of it, when it burned her fingers. The Snow Queen was gone… it had worked. Now she had some leverage that might gain her a bit of information. She'd be able to pay a visit to the Dark One.

….

The effects of the powerful spell took three days to hit her. Robin was anxious, he thought she had fallen ill, but it was the aftereffects of the spell. It had taken a lot out of her and Morgana was almost sure she would die. It was magic that caused it, and magic she needed. She heard about a wand, it was rumoured to be in the possession of the Dark One, but Robin hated magic. Still… she was pregnant with his child, he loved Marian, and maybe he'd do it anyway. So she planted the information and made sure Robin heard of it.

R&R

Storybrooke – Present time

"I think I'll go get some coffee," Belle stood up. "Would someone else like something?"

"I'd take one, put loads of sugar in it," Emma piqued up, but other than her, no one expressed any interest.

Belle nodded and put her jacket on, "The coffee here is horrible. I think the machine is broken or something, I'll go get some from Granny's."

"Oh, if that's the case, then would you mind bringing me a cherry muffin?" Snow smiled sheepishly.

Belle wasn't gone two minutes when the door crashed open and said woman stood in the frame, completely out of breath.

"Belle, what happened?" Emma ran towards her.

"Zelena's time portal! It's open!"

"What?" Snow stormed past them and Emma, Marian as well as Belle followed closely.

"How is this possible?" Emma asked and starred at the ray of light.

Everyone twisted around at Marian's enraged scream. Her face contorted in rage and before anyone could ask what was wrong she had gone in a cloud of red smoke.

"Wha… What the hell was that?" Emma asked bewildered.

R&R

"Gold! Close it!" David yelled and tightened the gip on his son.

Indeed the portal seemed to thin out and the light dimmed, David breathed a little lighter at it. He looked at Gold to let him know whatever he was doing was working, when his eyes widen in shock. From a red cloud Marian's form appeared and if there was any lingering doubt in David's mind about Regina's story it dispersed at the sight.

The woman was Marian without a doubt, but she looked nothing like the sweet, innocent woman he knew by the name. It wasn't that she changed her appearance, her clothes were still the same as two hours ago, but she was different. Her eyes had a wild look to them and her form spoke of a pugnacity and power, he only seen the Evil Queen possess before.

Gold was still too concentrated on the portal to see her and she flung him aside like a rag doll. David could tell what she planned, but there was nothing he could do to stop it, he was too far away, had an infant pressed to his chest and he felt so very helpless in that moment. With only three steps Morgana reached the portal and threw herself in the dimmer, but still open light. David had only seconds to make his choice. Softly he put his son on the ground and hasted towards the portal. But he was too late. The portal closed just as his feet left the ground and David tumbled down on the ground.

"No!" he whispered, "Regina…"

R&R

* * *

**Tell me what you think!**


	8. comes around

**at SamanthaFreita3: Yeah, I know. Let's see how she's doing. **

**at Guest: Sorry, but I wanted to put emphasis on the parallels between Regina and Morgana and explain her behaviour, but I promise this current chapter is the last one of that and from now on it'll be all about Outlaw Queen :) **

**at aprilf00l: Thank you and I hope it was worth the wait.**

**at Casey: I'm sorry that you won't get to see much of the fallout. I hadn't intended anything about that time anymore but because you've motivated me that much I added a tiny piece of it for you. I do hope you're not all that much disappointed. Thanks for telling me that you liked my Mr. Gold, I do try to keep him in character.**

**at Thornspike: Yes Gold does have that abilty but the way I see it visions are seldom and random and I also feel like Gold doesn't like them all that much. So no, he didn't see that future, and Gold doesn't need to worry about being hunted by the Snow Queen because from how I understood it, he only used his visions for personla gain, without getting in someone else's way and maybe to create some irony.**

**at maxiefae: Emma is paying for it, because she learned a lesson from it. **

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed.**

* * *

** …comes around**

Storybrooke – Present time

"David!" the blond cringed at his wife's yell all over the field. She was flanked by Belle and Emma, the former looking very displeased at finding her own husband here. And if that wasn't enough, they also picked up Hook and most of the Merry Men, including Robin of course, on their way.

Gold had picked himself off the ground and healed the minor injury he had sustained when Morgana tossed him.

"What happened here?" Emma demanded to know, switching her accusing gaze between her father and Gold. "Have you opened the time portal?"

David avoided his wife's eyes, but his gaze snapped to her at the sound of her voice, "Emma please, David would never do anything to endanger Neal."

He gulped at the faith she put in him, "Snow… we kind of… did open the portal, tough."

"What David, why ?" Snow's question sounded disappointed but it was nothing compared to the yell of Belle.

"What the hell, Rumple?" she huffed angrily. "You shouldn't be able to do any of this while I hold your dagger!"

Gold looked like a deer caught in the head light, "Belle I'm sorry…"

"Don't! Just don't… Not this time."

"Maybe we should let them explain first," Hook suggested from behind the women.

"Where's Regina?" Robin asked at the same time.

And then of course the Merry Men wondered where Marian was. It was all one big jumble and Gold soon had enough. Belle would forgive him, if she understood the gravity of the situation, but for that he needed two minutes of peace.

The loud thunder made everyone jump and once Gold stopped the noise, he began to explain, "We had to open to portal, to undo the apocalypse your daughter has brought upon us."

That didn't fail to make an impression.

"What?" Emma turned to him incredulously.

"You're little adventure with the handless wonder? It caused a rift in time and it's expanding and threatening to pull all of us in," Gold said impatiently.

David interrupted before his rather brash approach could hurt his daughter anymore, "We're not saying your to blame, Emma. Just that…"

Gold snorted, "Actually that's exactly what I'm saying. Even the pirate had more common sense than her."

David and Snow glared at him, but Gold ignored both of them, "You really should learn when to interfere and when not. Not even I would mess around with the past."

"I…What did I do?" Emma asked. She felt awful, terrible and every second she was fighting down tears.

"What do you think dearie?"

"Is this about Marian? Is this why she's missing?" Little John demanded to know and Robin's gaze nailed David as well. He knew he had to be fast with his explanation before Gold told them in his insensitive way. Before he could however, he was interrupted by Snow.

"Yeah, that was kind of weird. She saw the portal and then she seemed very… angry about it and then she disappeared… in a red cloud."

"The Queen abducted her?" John asked upset.

"No!" David said hotly before anyone else could say a word. "Regina had nothing to do with it. It's… " he sighed, he was just going to tell them, hopefully none of this would come true anyway. "The rift in time can be mended if it happens at the same time it was caused. Regina went back to take care of it."

"She did what?" Robin asked enraged. There she was doing dangerous stuff again, and again she was on her own.

"It's not like there was much of a choice!" David told him off. "We all die if she fails."

"No pressure then," Killian muttered.

"What about the red cloud then?" Belle asked. Her anger at lessened at the face of impending doom.

David shifted uncomfortably and was glad that he was still holding Neal, the child gave his hands something to do. He saw how Gold opened his mouth and interceded before the Dark One could utter a single word.

"As it turns out… Marian wasn't who she seemed," David phrased it intentionally vague.

Gold snickered, "Tsk, tsk David, that's a very misleading way to say it, don't you think."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Robin demanded to know. He needed to focus on one thing after another, and right now thinking about Regina brought nothing but pure horror for her well-being. Focusing on Marian and the red cloud was easier, though not less worrisome. Marian had only just gotten back, she couldn't be ripped from Roland again.

David shot him a warning glare that went ignored by the Dark One.

"Marian never existed. It was all a grand scheme, an impressively thought-out strategy of revenge on the Queen, to keep her from her soulmate," Gold took pleasure from the way Robins eyes widen and shock registered on his face.

"The witch's real name is Morgana, in case you care."

David closed his eyes. That was most certainly not how he had wanted Robin to hear.

Emma listened to every word with a certain kind of numbness. Not only had she possibly caused the end of the world, but the innocent life she'd saved… not so innocent after all. She pushed Killian to the side and managed to reach the edge of the forest before she started to vomit.

Her mother was at her side a moment later, pulling her hair back and whispering soothing words in her ear, but it was lost on her daughter.

She could hardly string together a singly coherent though, everything was jumbled and Emma felt like drowning. She only wanted to do the right thing, how could it have gone so wrong?

Meanwhile Robin stood still unmoving. All the years spent with Marian, every smile, every touch – all a lie? Robin didn't understand, couldn't comprehend how that was possible? He felt like joining Emma but even for that he was too numb. Everything he and Marian shared was a lie?

Storybrooke – 6 days ago

Regina landed harshly on the dirty ground, but didn't take time to dust herself off. Instead she waved her hand and became the Evil Queen – that also took care of the dirty clothes. It was not only to give her confidence but also because she didn't know if Regina could do what she needed to do next. The assurance and self-conception of the Evil Queen, her unrestrained will to do what was needed, would help her more than the vulnerable and hurt woman, Regina Mills currently was.

With steady steps she left the barn, her long black dress made of lace and silk barely touched the ground at her fast pace. She had to find the Snow Queen, so that she could make the rift visible. No one was around, Regina was sure, Hook and Emma had already been back for a while and Robin and herself – Regina remembered with an aching heart – were just about to get ice-cream for Roland.

The bushes tugged on her long skirt, but Regina continued unwavering. She would wait for her at the ice palace and explain what happened in the future. Regina had to be careful, Robin's men held camp not too far away from her path and none of them felt favourable towards her.

"Are you ready?"

Regina twirled around slightly startled and was ready to face an attacker when it turned out to be the Snow Queen. Said women looked at her uninterested, "I will become the rift, and therefore I won't be able to assist in your quest to defeat the seer."

"I…how? How do you know what I came here for?" Regina asked and her fireball died out.

"My mind does not work like yours. I can see all the possibilities of the threads, I cannot see the future but I can see everything that already happened once," the Snow Queen said simply. "Your past is like an open book, and the future that never was, is part of your past."

Regina was too busy concentrating on the Snow Queen and what to do next, to realize the presence of other people not too far from where she was standing and the Snow Queen simply did not care to point it out. But up in the trees, John signalled the rest of the Merry Men not to make a move. When one of their scouts reported that the Evil Queen appeared near the barn and was strolling through the forest, there hadn't been a single man who had wanted to stay behind. Tuck prevented anyone from letting Robin know, because if there was going to be a fight with the Queen it would only hurt him. He did care for her after all. He was sure she had changed, they were even involved somehow. But the men cared for their leader, they knew better than to trust the Queen but they cared for Robin, which was why each and every one of them was ready to strike any given moment. John's bow was drawn and he only waited for the Evil Queen to make one wrong move. John only hoped Robin and Roland were fine – they had originally planned to spend the evening with her.

A sudden cold swept over the clearing and in that very second a blonde woman, dressed in a blue and white gown appeared behind the Queen. John strained to hear what the woman was saying, but only Regina's louder voice resonated clearly in the night.

"I don't know how I can bring her here."

"Well, you'll have to find a way," the Snow Queen answered. "I won't be able to keep the portal open for very long. Whoever falls into the rift, will be lost without hope. If you succeed in gathering enough magic to mend the rift, the rift will close by itself."

Regina nodded and bit her lips in a nervous manner. She had to separate Morgana from Robin and Roland, but that would be hard. The Snow Queen would never make an entrance in town in this time line, therefore everyone – including her past self – would stay in the Diner longer. Regina knew herself well enough to know, that she wouldn't leave before someone else did. Not appearing weak was all that mattered; she wouldn't allow anyone to see how hurt she was… except she had let Robin see, before everything went wrong… Regina shook her head, it didn't matter now.

"I'll find a way," Regina said with more conviction that she felt. If possible she didn't want to disrupt this time line, but if there was no other way… she'd have to talk to Gold.

The Snow Queen nodded once and Regina's breath was stolen from her lungs as the icy wind hit her face. Then suddenly it was unnaturally still, not a single breeze and Regina gasped in surprise as a black rift opened up slowly before her eyes. It was already large enough for a person to fit through easily. She had guessed the rift would have drawn her in, like a magnet and devour her, but nothing happened. The rift simply sat there, dark black, silent and unmoving.

John signalled his men intently not to make a move until he said otherwise. But something was not right – not at all and his fingers gripped the bow more tightly.

Without warning Regina shot around, her whole body tensed up. John was sure however that the place her gaze was fixed at didn't hold any of the Merry Men. The Queen jumped out of the way to avoid a fire ball and John almost gasped in shock when he saw who it was that strode through the bushes with another fireball ready to throw. John had the presence of mind to motion for the men to keep their position, because what he saw could not be the truth. The woman standing before the Queen could not be Marian. Marian did not have magic, Marian was dead, he had witnessed it himself. Had witnessed how she bled out and how Robin tore himself to pieces over her death. Marian was dead and the only explanation for this was the someone took her form or maybe the Queen had something planned. But considering she had just been attacked by whoever took Marian's form that seemed unlikely.

With a quick scan Regina realized that Morgana's clothes were different from the one's she had worn when she first appeared in Storybrooke as Marian. There was only one logic deduction, "You followed me through the portal?"

Morgana taunted her with a smile, "What? Did you think I'd just let you do whatever you wanted? And destroy my chance at revenge? I don't think so." Her voice hissed and her volume was as clear as Regina.

"Morgana!"

John breathed a sigh of relief, he had known it couldn't have been Marian; still it was good to hear.

Regina levelled her gaze, "Morgana, do you have any idea, what you did?"

"Of course! I've seen it all coming together, remember? I planned this, for years and years."

"Really? Are you really ready to end this entire world, only to take revenge on me? This world will end, Morgana, everything will get pulled into this black hole! Are you really ready to go that far?" Regina looked at her almost pleadingly.

Morgana was surprise by that; her visions had not shown any the end of the world. But she regained her composure fast, "This world means nothing to me. Nothing at all! Tell me Regina; wouldn't you have done the same, if it meant taking vengeance from Snow White?"

The Queen hesitated, "Yes," she finally admitted, her voice softer. "I think I would have, but… Morgana, your son… He's part of this world."

Regina knew that no matter the depth of her hatred for Snow, she would never have sacrificed Henry for it. She would do anything for Henry – and Roland. She knew how it was to be a mother. Morgana had nurtured Roland for nine months in her womb, had given him life and loved and cared for him for a year.

Morgana shook her head stubbornly, "I don't care."

Regina wasn't sure she'd hear her right. Because that couldn't be true, a mother could never treat her child like… and then she remembered her own mother. How Cora gave up Zelena, because she was in her way to become Queen and how Cora never gave a loving word to Regina. How Cora made her witness crushing her first love's heart and how she used her to finally realize her dreams.

"Morgana… I understand. I do but…" Regina didn't understand how she couldn't care for her son.

"No you don't. You think you do, but you don't! You took everything from me and I promised to repay you for it," the words were spoken with such venom and hatred that Regina saw herself reflected in the other woman's eyes.

"All this, because I destroyed your chances to become Queen of Camelot?" Regina asked, but a growing sense of dread told her otherwise.

"Queen?" Morgana was besides herself, "I never cared about the throne."

It was like ice-cold water flooded her veins. She understood Morgana's pain, understood it so very well, "Arthur - you truly loved him."

Regina's voice had lost all fight. She did to Morgana what was done to her. Morgana and her… they were the same. She had destroyed her life the same way hers had been destroyed. Only she hadn't been an innocent child who believed a mother only wanted what was best for her child.

The Enchanted Forest – 5 years before the first Dark Curse

Pregnant… Morgana couldn't believe it. But after two months of missing her cycle there was hardly another explanation. And now that she's taken a potion to find out if it was possible, the truth reared its ugly head. And she had always been so careful, had always taken a potion to prevent pregnancy, but she must have missed it once. She didn't remember but she must have. The past years had been anything but pleasant and left her feeling stressed.

The universe was determined to conjure a meeting between Robin and the Queen – the Evil Queen by now – and Morgana had to be creative to keep Robin from doing something that would no doubt make the Queen take her search for him more seriously. His face was plastered on wanted posters, thankfully the Queen didn't care about anything but her stepdaughter. The royals insisted that Robin Hood, the thief that kept plundering from them, had to be seized, but as long as he didn't get in the Queen's way to find Snow White, she barely cared. Even so, it was still hard for Morgana to prevent a meeting.

Tension was always high with her, especially because she knew that every meeting between them would end the same way – a happy end for the Queen and the Thief. No matter what the scenario was that played in her vision, no matter how they met and no matter how bound he was by the promise he made to Marian, it ended the same way every time. He'd choose Regina, she'd leave the dark path of loneliness she had ventured down before and they lived happily ever and so forth.

And now she was pregnant with a child that she never wanted. If it had been Arthur's child… Morgana stopped her thoughts right there.

Robin was a good man, he didn't deserve what she was doing to him. Funny thing was, he was happy with her! She played her role perfectly and she'd be lying if she said she was in misery every second of every day. But her heart wasn't in it, it was still missing large pieces – pieces she tried to fill with revenge and hatred. She had supressed every thought of Camelot and the pain never lessened. Her desire to give into one vision of Arthur, of packing up and going to Camelot only got stronger. She only wanted to see Arthur, to see if he was happy, even if it wasn't with her.

Loud voices interrupted her thoughts and she pressed herself into the tree. Morgana hadn't realized how far away from the camp she had gotten. And she shouldn't have – not with that dark cold presence looming over her. The road was only a few meters away and she risked a glance to see that the soldiers were caring King George's crest. Her heart almost stopped when she recognized who was amongst them.

_Lancelot! _What was Arthur's most trusted men doing midst King George's knights?

She made her decision quickly. Lancelot was one of the last few men and she threw a stone at him. When he glanced around Morgana made sure that he'd catch a glimpse of her. His face changed into one of astonishment and shock. She was taking a risk, but she had to know how Arthur was. As she had hoped he stayed behind a bit and followed her into the woods.

"Lady Morgana!" Lancelot looked at her for a long time, as if he couldn't quite believe it. "We thought you dead!"

"You've sentenced me to it, if I remember correctly," she answered and couldn't keep the bitterness from her tone.

Lancelot didn't know what to respond to that, "Lady Morgana, you don't understand… Forgive me!" He bowed to her.

But Morgana didn't care about it.

"What are you doing here? Why aren't you with Arthur any longer?"

His eyes widen, "You haven't heard…?"

Her heart hammered in her chest, when his eyes filled with pity and pain. He didn't know how to tell the woman. Her eyes still spoke volumes of her feelings for Arthur.

Camelot – 8 years before the first Dark Curse

Lancelot regarded the king with worry. Since Morgana had been exposed as a witch, Arthur had changed. At first he was sure Morgana had bewitched him to ascend the throne. Lancelot wasn't that sure, the way Morgana had looked at him didn't seemed faked, but he didn't dare voice it.

Arthur looked worse with every passing day. Morgana would be executed today and Arthur got more nervous with every minute. Suddenly the king leaped from his seat and started to run like the hounds of hell were after him. Lancelot was the first to follow and soon the whole room was running after the king. It wasn't long and Lancelot knew where Arthur was running to.

Arthur reached the witch-burning in the same second when a darting flame took Morgana's form. Arthur screamed a blood-curling cry and sank to his knees. Lancelot and two other knights managed to get the king away before he drew too much attention.

Morgana's name fell from his lips time and time again with a broken voice. He started to babble incoherently and Lancelot understood enough to work out what happened. The king had felt it, felt her and he had tried to stop the execution before it was too late. And Lancelot couldn't help but think that the king was broken.

The Enchanted Forest – 5 years before the first Dark Curse

"He… he didn't take your death very well. The king became unstable," Lancelot avoided the word _insane _but in the end, that was what Arthur had been. "He regretted it, Lady Morgana. You have to believe me. But he lost his mind over killing you and he wasn't able to rein the country anymore. We couldn't keep his condition a secret from everyone and when Camelot was attacked… King George offered an alliance. We didn't have a choice…" Lancelot gulped. "Arthur… he fell in battle around one and a half year ago. Camelot has become part of King George's kingdom. I'm sorry."

Numbness overwhelmed Morgana, she stopped breathing and everything was void around her. Slowly she sank to the ground, she started to shake and pain wrapped her body in its tight grasp. Then she cried, tears of agony rolled down her cheeks and when Lancelot tried to reach out to offer comfort she slapped his hand away.

"Go! Go! _Go!_" she screeched and when she didn't stop yelling and hitting, Lancelot gave up and left the grieving woman.

It was a long time until the shaking stopped and Morgana sat on the cold ground simply staring in space with unseeing eyes. Why hadn't there been a vision? Why didn't she go back sooner? Why didn't she know? Sure, she had avoided anything that had to do with Camelot but still… Had her revenge blinded her to such extend?

The Queen would pay for what she did! Morgana got up and dusted her dress off. The Queen would suffer for all eternity, she would never find happiness and if it was the last thing Morgana did. The pain transformed to hatred, the tears to determination and never before had Morgana felt such deep hate. A hate that reached every corner of her soul. Her doubts, about Robin and the innocent life she carried in her womb were forgotten, she didn't need any more feelings when everything was overpowered by burning hate. Her next vision was of a clearness she didn't have since the first time she saw Robin and the Queen meet.

Robin and the Queen with her child in an unknown land, a blonde woman in the dungeon… Pieces fell together like a puzzle and Morgana smiled. She would have her revenge, the Queen would lose everything that meant something to her, Robin, the child and the other child as well eventually. She would see to that in time.

Morgana closed her eyes. She had to block everything out and not let the other's know something happened. Marian had no reason to be sad, she was a happy mother-to-be and when she made her way back to the camp she wondered how she would tell Robin she was carrying his child.

Storybrooke – 6 days before the second time-travel

The shock was slowing Regina down. Realizing she had destroyed this woman's life the same way Snow White destroyed hers, was killing Regina. She had even heard about King Arthur's demise but it hardly mattered to her and she had forgotten all about it, about how she had told a secret that took away someone else's love.

She was just like Snow White, only Snow White had been an innocent, naïve child who didn't know what consequences actions could have, a child who had learned that mother's loved their children and would never hurt them. Regina hadn't been like that, she had known better.

And she was just like Morgana, driven by rage and anger and hatred, sacrificing everything and everyone in the name of revenge… everyone but her son. Not even Roland could keep Morgana from her revenge. And Regina understood with clarity that as much as she had loved Daniel and as fiercely as she had believed him to be her one true love, he wasn't. He was her first love, maybe even a true love but he wasn't the Charming to her Snow White. She would have laughed at how preposterous the comparison was, but in that moment nothing really mattered.

"Morgana… I… I am sorry," her voice broke and a single tear broke free from her sorrowful eyes.

Morgana snorted, "We both know, that an apology isn't enough."

And Regina remembered Snow White's face, pleading for forgiveness, full of compassion and regret and empathy… No, apologies would never cut it.

"I'm sorry, I truly am, but I can't let you do this," Regina bit the tears down and looked at Morgana hard. "This world will not end because of me. I've done enough evil to last more life-times than I can count. I will stop you. You've had your revenge. You've kept me and Robin apart for years. This is where it ends!"

Morgana laughed loudly and the sound cut through the night, "You think that was it? That that was my vengeance? At the beginning maybe, but after finding out Arthur had to die, because of what you did… You will die here and this world will end with you knowing Robin would've picked Marian over you any day. You will die knowing that you would never have been his first choice, that you'll never be anyone's first choice. And it was so easy, Regina, so very easy to make him trust me and so very easy to make him fall for me. The damsel in distress, in dire need of a hero and strong and independent at the same and he was all over me. I had to spend years pretending to be someone else and then his posse of unwashed cave men… And I had to pretend to be one of them. Laugh about their bad jokes, dance around the camp fire and sleep in the forest. Disgusting bunch, all of them! And your _soulmate _" she spat the word as if it was poison, "… he was the worst of them all. Oh so righteous and generous, how he…"

Regina had enough, the hot rage in her gut was boiling over and she took one single quick step and laid all her power and anger in the punch she delivered in the other woman's face. Before Morgana could get up, her feet were tangling over the ground and Regina was chocking her.

"Don't talk about him like that," Regina warned.

Morgana grinned and shoved both arms up front, the magic from her fingers caused Regina to be flung back and she hit the ground hard. She rolled to the side to avoid the fireball and without catching a breath tossed one at Morgana. The women exchanged blows and tried to throw the other into the rift. Regina could feel Morgana gaining the upper hand. The rift was no more than two meter away and Regina worried she'd lose her footing. Morgana's next move threw Regina back and the rift came closer and closer. Regina thought of Robin and Henry and Roland, of Snow White and Neal and David and Gold and white magic flew from her fingertips and Regina changed directions so that she missed the rift. She picked herself up and got the next fireball ready, but Morgana had stopped all movements. A gasp left her lips and her hand went to her stomach, she lifted it up and looked at the blood on it almost in wonder. An arrow had pierced her from behind. Regina didn't have time to scrutinise the circumstances, Morgana had to be alive when she jumped in the rift. Regina ran to her and grabbed at her, thrusting the other woman into the rift. Morgana screamed but the second the rift took possession of her body, all noise was cut off. The darkness devoured Morgana and Regina sank to the floor in front of the rift, her breathing erratic.

The arrow! She scrambled to her feet.

"Explain!" Regina was faced with Robin's right hand man. His bow was drawn with an arrow ready to be released. More and more Merry Men appeared from the bushes or made their way down the trees. Regina would have cussed but she was too tired and too drained for any of it. She was barely able to stand on her feet.

"How long have you been here?" she finally asked.

"No!" John shook his head. "You'll explain."

"The black rift behind me… it's going to destroy the world unless we stop it," Regina said tiredly and a wave of dizziness hit her so hard, she fell down on her arse ungracefully.

John hesitated for only a moment. He dropped the bow and reached the Queen's side, "Are you alright?"

Her jaw literally fell open when John asked her and looked over her body for injuries. Why would he care or even trust her?

The Queen didn't appear to have sustained grave injuries – a few scratches, most likely she had fractured a rip from her hard fall and some light burns. John still wasn't sure what had compelled him to release that arrow earlier, only the feeling that Marian – or Morgana was the greater danger leading him. They had heard every word that was spoken and horror and disbelief had paralysed everyone for a while. Little John had known Marian for a long time, they had laughed, saved one another, sat by the fire and talked, drank, danced and sang, he didn't believe that woman was her, but the way she had talked…

"Who was that woman?" he asked quietly and offered the Queen his help.

She stiffened and got up without taking his hand. "How long have you been here?"

"From the start."

Regina closed her eyes for a fracture of a second, "I'm sorry."

"That couldn't have been Marian and you kept calling her Morgana, who was she, where did she come from?"

Regina debated how much she should tell them, the men already knew too much, time was running out and she was weak. The Morgana of this time was most likely still in the Diner and Regina had already wasted too much time, she glanced at the rift. She needed help. So she stared to explain rapidly, about Emma's travel to the past, Marian and Morgana, the Snow Queen and her travel back.

"So, Marian never existed, she was always Morgana… and you are from the future?" John was pale.

"I'm sorry," Regina offered again. She was sorry, sorry that Morgana had deceived all of them on her account, sorry that they lost someone they considered a friend like that.

John nodded.

"I need your help," Regina said finally. "I know this is a lot to take but the rift won't stay open for much longer and Morgana, the one from this time, she has to go with me. If not it was all for nothing and the rift will expand. I can't go into town; I already exist in this time and…"

It was Friar Tuck who helped ease her mind, "We understand, Your Majesty. John, we need to bring Marian here."

"You cannot let it show. She cannot suspect any foul play," Regina said intently.

"Got it," John shouldered his bow. "I'll bring her here. I've known Mar… her the longest."

"I'll come with you," a young black man – Samuel, Regina though dimly – said. "Roland's there. The boy shouldn't witness any of this."

"Thank you," Regina said with relief.

The men nodded and turned to leave.

"Why do you trust me? I could be lying," Regina asked before she could stop herself.

"We've heard enough, You Majesty. Besides…" John looked over his shoulder, "….Robin trusts you."

"Thank you," Regina repeated.

"No reason to thank us yet, Your Majesty," John replied.

"My name…" the Queen said slowly and she gave them a hesitant smile, "… my name is Regina."

R&R

* * *

**So? Did poor John make up for what he said in the other future?**

**Tell me what you think!**

**Outlaw Queen starting next chapter, I promise!**


	9. Once again

**at qwsazxde: Thank you very much. Hope you enjoy the rest of the story.**

**at pt159: Thank you so much. And I'm glad poor John scored a few points. Who knows maybe he'll score even more? **

**at Casey: Thanks for your support and glad you like John better now. Yes, don't we all secretly love Gold and his insensitivity? **

**at shikasgirl10: Thank you very much. I hope it is worth it.**

**at Thornspike: Oh, yes she has. As for your question: The rift was caused by a thread that was once cut and is now starting at a different point with no relation to. Since it was Marian that caused the rift her original, present self needs to go in, if not the rift still exist. I hope that was understandabe? If not let me know and I'll try to explain it differently.**

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed.**

**I don't own anything.**

* * *

**Once again**

Storybrooke – New present time

It got harder to stay with every minute. Regina fought the urge to stand up and run – run from Robin and his perfect wife who was sitting next to him now. Both their backs turned to her – his back turned to her, and that was what hurt the most. She wanted to run but her pride refused to allow her to do so, and so she stayed, sitting rigidly in the booth with Gold and Belle, later kept spouting theories about the consequences of time travel. Belle called it "The Butterfly-Effect".

Regina had the numbing feeling that nothing would happen at all, because why would it? An innocent life was spared and hers was destroyed – the universe was in order. Still Regina concentrated on every word, because she needed it to keep her from hearing a single word coming from the direction of the happy reunited family. Her gaze altered strictly between Gold and Belle, so that she was sure not one glance was left to wander to Robin. Regina wished she knew a spell to numb, to disable every of her five senses like she somehow managed with her ears and eyes. But his earthy smell of pine cones and forest stayed in her nostrils, she could still taste his kiss on her lips and feel his fingers running down her cheeks ever so softly.

Opposed to her behaviour Robin's gaze kept wandering to Regina. He hoped she'd turn around, even if only for a second, so that he could convey one way or another that they were not done, that she still mattered, that he needed to figure out what was going on, that they needed to talk later, that this was so very confusing for him – perhaps that was a bit of a stretch for only one gaze.

Roland was tugging at his sleeve and he turned to look at him. Marian leaned into his other side. She looked at him and gave him a bright smile. Guilt gnawed at him, because his feelings of joy at seeing Marian alive were tainted with a constantly increasing feeling of worry and nausea. If only Regina would turn around for one second, she was the only one who could take the feeling of profound loss away from him. Snow and Charming had changed seats and sat down opposed from them and Robin was surprised to learn that the two women knew each other. Marian had been most adamant about not helping Snow White back in the Enchanted Forest because that would attract the Queen's attention to them and Robin had agreed. They helped the people and when they were hunted more than they already were, they would no longer be able to provide help for others and so Robin had agreed with Marian on this.

He only listened to their conversation with half an ear, everything else was focused on Regina. It was only when the name of the Evil Queen fell, that he turned fully to the conversation.

Regina held her breath, her body tensed even more. Despite the distance between their tables Marian's voice got louder and resonated in her ears more clearly. She had already figured out that she might have something to do with whatever happened to Marian from the tone Emma used earlier but hearing it made it all the more real. She listened as the woman talked about Emma or rather Leiah saving her from the Evil Queen's dungeon. She grabbed the edge of the table more tightly and her knuckles turned white. Nothing would every bring her to look at Robin right now.

She could accept that he wouldn't choose her over his wife, it was only logical (because really who would choose her) but she knew if she looked at him she wouldn't be able to take it. She never wanted to see his eyes filled with betrayal, contempt and hatred. Regina knew this was her punishment for all her sins, the pain and the loneliness, it was all deserved.

Robin sat there shell-shocked. He didn't know what to do or say, was feeling numb from shock. He had known what Regina did, had lost a few men to the Queen and her black knights. He had heard the stories and rumours surrounding her, knew that most of it was true. But how was he supposed to react to finding out, that the woman he was with now had once killed his wife? (Even tough that couldn't be right, because Marian had been dead.) Again he wished she'd turn around so that he could catch one glance at her face. She must have heard what Marian said and Robin could imagine what was going through her head. But she had yet to leave, so there was still a chance to talk to her. Then it registered in his brain, that he was thinking more about the woman that took his wife from him, than about Marian. He must have thought Marian dead already, Robin thought strangely detached, as if his brain was severed from his emotions, otherwise he would have heard and done everything in his power to save her life.

Marian's voice cut through the air like a knive, "She's a monster."

Robin spun around so fast his neck hurt and saw how Regina heaved a sigh. She stood up.

"I suppose that's my cue then," her voice was indifferent but Robin knew she was hurt.

He was up and after her before he even registered the bell ringing.

"Robin!" Marian cried out but he had already left the Diner.

"Regina, wait!" he reached out for her and she avoided his touch expertly and he coiled back from her in hurt.

"What do you want?"

Robin opened his mouth but no words made it past his lips.

"Robin! Are we too late to join the party?" John waved at them, clearly oblivious to the tension between them. He was accompanied by Samuel.

"Robin, what is going on?" Marian stormed from the Diner and John took a huge intake of breath.

"Marian? What?! How?! What's going on here?" John's gaze wandered from one person to another. Half of the Diner had followed them out, of course.

_Never missing the drama, _Regina thought bitterly.

"John!" Marian threw herself in the larger men's arms.

Regina used the commotion to retreat further and made her way to her house resolutely.

"Sam! You've grown so much," Marian cried out and bestowed a second hug to him.

John's eyes wandered to Robin and he answered with a pained smile. The large man understood unpredictably fast - he saw Robin's pleading look. It wandered from Marian to Regina… or rather where she had stood before and panic flooded Robin. John shot his best friend a very disapproving look but nodded anyway.

"Marian, John will bring you to the camp. I have to… There's something I have to take care of," he explained and made a move to go after Regina. Marian grabbed his sleeve and Robin found it alarmingly difficult not to shake her off.

"Robin, where are you going?" Marian looked at him with big, fearful eyes and his consciousness tugged at him, but Regina needed him and every fibre of his body wanted to ensure she was fine.

"Marian," John's soft voice interrupted whatever Robin wanted to tell her, "I'm sure Robin will be back soon," he shot Robin a harsh glance. "I'll bring you back to the camp for now, the other men will be delighted and I'm sure everything will be resolved eventually."

Marian wanted to protest but John smiled friendly at her and finally she nodded, unsure of what else to do and allowed the tall man to lead her away. Samuel picked up Roland, who had stayed with the Charmings. He followed Marian and John at first - but they hadn't walked for long before Sam let himself and the boy fall back behind. He asked Roland if he wanted hot chocolate and of course Roland was delighted. They turned around.

R&R

He probably shouldn't feel as relieved and grateful to John as he did, but Robin barely had time to worry about the way he treated his wife. He didn't yet know what to tell Regina, but he couldn't just let Regina leave with no explanation. Maybe he really should have taken a bit time to think about it more thoroughly and stay with Marian for now, she was confused after all. But he couldn't… not when he was just given the chance to talk things out, thanks to John.

He ran through the streets, the desperate feeling of needing to see Regina wrenching at him. He had to tell her that he didn't hate her. He was confused, needed time to figure it out, but he didn't hate her, wasn't sure he ever could.

She was fast, he had to give her that. She had already hallway crossed Mifflin Street when he finally reached her.

"Regina, wait!" he watched with relief how she stopped in her tracks.

The Queen took a few calming breaths. She had to make it clear to him, now and here, that whatever they had was over. Not that she had to, she was sure, whatever it was they had, it was over the second his wife was brought back. If she'd let Robin talk she'd cry and she couldn't let that happen. She had showed enough weakness to him, she had opened up to him and lowered the walls surrounding her heart. Villains didn't get happy endings, she should have known that. Should have known better than that. After what happened with Daniel, she should have been warned, love wasn't worth the defencelessness, it wasn't worth the pain. Maybe if you were a Charming and your happy end was written in the stars, but not for people like her.

"Sir of Locksley," she turned to him, if she saw a flicker of hurt on his face at her formality she ignored it. "I can understand your anger and the execution of your wife was surely not one of my best moments, but I am the Evil Queen. You should not be that surprised. If you would excuse me now."

She was about to turn and walk away when Robin's grip on her wrist stopped her. And she hated herself because her heartbeat picked up at the touch. And it stuttered when she saw the expression of pure fury on his face.

"Regina what do you think you're doing? You can't go pretending as if we only just met each other!" he said and his grip tightened.

She tried to shake him off, but he refused to let her go.

"I don't know what you think those past few weeks were about, but I'm pretty sure our meaningless fling does in no way give you any right to demand an explanation from me," she replied coldly and he dropped his hand as if she burned him.

It didn't take a second and Robin regretted letting go of her because he reached out for her again. Regina reacted on instinct. If he touched her again, looked at her with those blue eyes of his, she'd break, so she disappeared in a cloud of smoke to the safety of her home. Robin's hand only met air and for a few seconds he stood there speechless and stared into the night.

She ran away from him… again. But he wouldn't make it that easy on her, she was going to listen to what he had to say and they would find a solution – together. When she had talked to him like he was a stranger, his hear had felt like it was being torn apart and Robin knew he wouldn't be able to life like that for the rest of his life.

"Regina!" Robin stormed down the street and wondered if he should try the door-bell. But the chances of being let in on a voluntary basis were almost non-existent. Therefore he needed another way in. In the end that was nothing he wasn't used to. He didn't get very far anyway, an invisible magnetic field pushed him back.

Robin sighed and went around the house to find out in which room she'd most likely be in. She had to listen to him because he couldn't spend another day with her treating him like that.

R&R

"John, I really rather stay with Robin," Marian repeated once again. There weren't far from where the Queen was waiting for them and John felt the tension rise.

"Marian," he fell into step with her, "I understand how you feel, but Robin… There is something he has to do and you'll need to trust him. Don't worry we'll all be there for you, to help you settle in," he scratched behind his ears, "we are still trying to ourselves, to be honest." John grinned at her and the woman smiled back cautiously.

If John hadn't seen what happened himself, he wouldn't have believed them to be the same person. This Marian was so different from the other woman. What if this really was a trick to get rid of Marian? Then again he had just seen the Queen in town and… John thought that if this ended up to be a trick, if there was one single indication that there was foul play, he'd shoot an arrow straight through the Queen's heart.

He saw the exact moment when it registered on Marian's face that something was wrong. The clearing was empty but the dark black hole lied before them threateningly. Marian took a few steps back and gasped.

"John, what's going on?"

"You're wasting your breath, I'm afraid," the Queen strode in the clearing behind them and John's doubts dissipated as he watched a peculiar emotion flickered over Marian's features that made his blood run cold. It was gone so fast he would have missed it, if he hadn't been watching her intently, but when she turned to him, her eyes were wide with fear.

"I'm sorry, Marian," he stepped away, "or should I say Morgana? Don't worry you won't have to spent a second with us dirty cavemen."

Morgana didn't seem unsettled by this turn of events, instead an odd calmness fell over her, "You won't win this, Regina."

"I doubt that," the Queen looked at her with empathy in her eyes. "I'm sorry for what you've been through because of me."

Morgana laughed humourless, "As if that would mean anything to me. You didn't even recognise me. You destroyed my life and didn't even have the decency to remember my face."

Regina agreed slowly, "There were too many faces," she said and her eyes dropped to the floor.

"If you think I would give up, you're wrong."

"This world will end if we don't do the right thing now."

"This world, my life is meaningless without Arthur and if it's up to me, the world may as well end," Marian formed her hand to conjure a fireball. And then something happened no one expected.

A blood-curling scream ripped from Morgana's throat and she fell on the ground. Regina took a startled step back and Morgana didn't stop screaming.

"What's happening to her?" Friar Tuck asked alarmed.

"I don't… I don't know… maybe… maybe it's because her future self already…?" Regina stopped when she comprehended what happened. It only happened because Morgana tried to use magic, but her magic was gone, it was given to the rift.

And only now that she tried to use magic did her body register that it vanished. Regina thought about her present self and the wall that would inevitably be up around the house.

The screaming didn't stop and one of the men stepped forward, "We need to get her into the rift! Someone might hear."

Regina nodded. She used her magic and the screaming stopped once Morgana was given to the darkness.

The silence that followed was eerie. Regina stepped to the hole.

"What are you doing?" Tuck asked distressed.

"I told you, it would take two magical creatures to mend the rift," she turned to the men. "Morgana was only one of them. Even if she was thrown in twice, her magic only exists once. Thank you for all your help."

"You'll sacrifice yourself?"

"I'll still live," Regina told them. "You've just seen me, haven't you?"

"What will happen to you… the you in this time, I mean?" John asked, thinking with worry about Robin. It would kill him to lose Regina.

For a second Regina thought to her current self and the protective wall she conjured sooner or later to keep everyone away. Her magic would be gone as well, but apart from that… she couldn't say.

Regina shrugged, "I don't know. I'll lose my magic I suppose but other than that I have no idea. But it doesn't matter either way."

"I can't believe it was all a lie. Marian was a lie, Robin will…"

"Robin will never know!" Regina looked at them sharply and then her features turned pleadingly. "Robin can never know… Morgana… Marian, he can never know. It would kill him."

The men nodded solemnly and gave their word.

Regina was about to take the last step, when the hasty voice of Little John halted her foot, "She lied, you know?"

Enquiringly she looked at him.

"When she said, you were his second choice. She lied, he would have picked you."

"You can't know that."

John smiled and thought about the looks Robin had given the Queen, about every grin and smile, the stolen glances and touches and about the desperate plea in his eyes, just before he went after Regina just now. "Well, his dead wife just returned and he went after the one who supposedly killed her. Robin doesn't like to lose sight of the things he cares about and he's with you right now. He would have picked you, maybe not from the start but eventually. Hell, I probably would have tried to stop him, but he would have done it anyway.

Regina's smile lacked conviction, but still, "Thank you. All of you."

"Your Majesty… Regina," Tuck smiled at her, earnestly. "Know that the loyalty of the Merry Men is yours eternally from now on."

"The current me will never know about any of this," she replied.

"Nevertheless she is the same person that you are. We always keep our word," the men nodded and Regina nodded back.

Then she turned and jumped into the abyss.

The men held their breath, the rift closed and transformed to a small snow storm. The blonde woman from before stood in its stead.

"You shall be the keepers of the secret of the future that never was," she said calmly.

One last gush of cold air rushed through the forest, and then the Merry Men were alone. It was silent for a long time.

"What do we tell Robin?" a young red head named Arthur asked in the end.

"I have no idea," Tuck said. "It's a lot to take in. Let's go back to the camp for now."

"We have to find out how the Queen is," John insisted.

"And tomorrow we will. Tonight Robin is with her," Tuck reasoned calmly. "I do think we need some time ourselves to digest what happened tonight and what we've learned."

John followed him without protest, contemplating how Marian was able to deceive all of them for such long time and mourning the loss of a friend.

R&R

"Regina please! You can't just pretend those last few weeks were nothing," Robin was slowly but surely getting frustrated. He was here on borrowed time, he had to get back to Marian and figure out what happened and what he should do, but his body strongly disagreed with his brain and so he'd been yelling at the window of Regina's house for a good ten minutes.

A different window opened harshly, "Would you please leave? You're waking the neighbours!"

"Regina, I know this is complicated, but if you'd just let me in, then we might be able to figure this out together!"

She laughed dryly, "Figure out what exactly? Your wife just came back from the dead, apparently your love is so great it finds its way back to you even in death. Clearly our small, meaningless affair is over. What are you even doing here? Shouldn't you go play happy family? She's probably wondering where you are."

It hurt – the way she belittled what they have… had… have and Robin rubbed the spot over his heart instinctively. "Regina please! We both know that's not true. We can't cut off our feelings like that."

"Feelings?" Regina laughed, but even for her ears it sounded hollow. "You don't seriously think I felt anything for you. You've been nothing but a mean to warm my bed at night and not to worry, I'll find someone suitable able to fulfil that task again. And for the record, it's Your Majesty or Madam Mayor for you."

Another hit in his stomach and this time Robin had trouble keeping his temper in check. How dare she trivialise her feelings like that! She was the woman who made his heart soar, who made him more happy then he ever was before. What he had started to feel, it couldn't compare to anything he felt before, he pictured their future together for fuck's sake.

The window crashed closed and Robin understood that he lost the battle for tonight. He had to talk to Marian, find out how she could have ended up in the Queen's dungeon on the first place. He also probably couldn't avoid disclosing his relationship with Regina… that would certainly not be a picnic. He hadn't gotten very far when a devastating scream pierced the dark silence.

"Regina!" Robin wasn't aware that he had released a scream just as ear-piercing. His feet pounded into the asphalt at incredible pace. He didn't know anything expect that Regina was in pain, he felt it, felt her scream slice into his very soul. There was no wall stopping him from her and the door was no obstacle for him, he'd buy her a new one. He followed her cries and screams into Henry's room. Regina was lying on the floor, her body shaking and clenching, Robin fell to his knees next to her.

"Regina? Regina, I'm here," he looked over her body for a wound, anything that would tell him why she was in such pain, but there was nothing there.

Regina didn't see anything except pain, it took her vision and made her dizzy.

Cautiously Robin pulled her into his arms and picked her up, he kept muttering unintelligible words, just to let her know he was there. She needed help. Panic gripped him when she went limb into his arms, her head lolled lifeless to the side. She had lost consciousness from the pain. He started to run.

"Robin, what happened?" Emma ran towards them. Behind her Henry and her parents with the little one followed.

"Mum!" Henry reached Regina and grabbed her hand, "Mum!"

"I don't know, she started screaming and she was in pain an…" Robin couldn't think, couldn't breathe. If something happened to Regina… His hold on her tightened.

"We'll get her to the hospital," Emma said quickly.

"Emma, Regina's car! It's in the garage," Snow was pale and her eyes were drained to Regina's motionless body.

Robin clutched at Regina, he couldn't lose her, he just couldn't. He needed her, without her…

Bile rose in Robin and he felt so very useless. His grip on her became painful and if he had wasted a single thought on such matters, he would have known that his fingers would bruise later.

Henry was still standing in front of him, trying to get his mother to wake and tears spilling over.

The honk of a car startled Robin from his stupor. "Get in!" Emma yelled out of Regina's black car. Robin carefully slipped in, draping Regina over his lap. Henry sat on the other side and clutched his mother's hand. Snow refused to stay behind and took the passenger seat, David told her he was picking up their car and was meeting them at the hospital. He would ask Ruby to come over and watch Neal. Robin kept his eyes trained on Regina, the only thing that still kept him functioning was the rise of her chest, as slight as it might be and the soft exhale of breath he felt against the small hair on his neck that told him she was still breathing.

Robin faded out everything that wasn't Regina. He concentrated on all the signs that proved Regina was still alive. _She's breathing, she's breathing, she's breathing_, he kept repeating in his head. He readjusted her and hid his head in her hair.

"Please Regina. Please don't do this to me. I need you. Please," he whispered in her ear inaudibly and left a lingering kiss on her temple.

R&R

* * *

**Tell me what you think.**


	10. It ends here

**at SamanthaFreita3: I think... I'll give you one more chapter right now :)**

**at shikasgirl10: Glad you think that way.**

**at Casey: I hope despite the different approach you'll still enjoy the rest of the story. Thanks for your continued support.  
**

**at TheRebirthofPain: Thank you so much. No, no only the two of them, all of the Merry Men were present. You take care as well.**

**at Thornspike: Glad I could help. That is such a great movie! **

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed.**

**I don't own anything.**

* * *

** It ends here**

Storybrooke – Present time

"Robin really, you need to go home," Snow said sternly but it went ignored by the man.

It's been two days and Robin hadn't moved from his spot next to Regina's bed expect to pace to room from time to time, but never straying too far. He held her hand and his eyes were always drained on her form. The Merry Men had brought Roland over because the boy had insisted on visiting Regina, his wild flowers stood on the bedside table. He had spent almost the whole day yesterday here and sat on Robin's lap. The little boy had tried to read to her from one of his books, because Regina had started to teach him in the Enchanted Forest and according to Roland it had always made her smile. He had been heartbroken when it didn't work.

Emma had taken Henry home for the night, she had told him he couldn't do anything here and that he needed to sleep in a bed for a night. Henry had kicked and protested, had even yelled at Emma, had told her she wasn't his mum and that she couldn't decide anything for him, it had been terrible. Only when Robin said he wouldn't leave Regina's side, had Henry finally gone home begrudgingly.

Regina had not woken and Robin hadn't left her side since.

"Robin, I promise I'll stay here tonight, but you need to sleep. You look like you're about to drop from exhaustion."

"No," his voice was hoarse and still he didn't look at Snow but rather at her step-mother.

Storybrooke – 2 days ago

The silence hung heavy in the waiting room and the atmosphere was stifling. Emma and Hook had joined them at some point, Robin couldn't tell when. They've been waiting for hours without information and Robin's nerves were strung to the breaking point.

Emma held a distraught Henry in her arms who hadn't stopped crying since he'd seen his mother unconscious in Robin's arms. Snow didn't look much better and David held her close to him. Surprisingly enough the prince himself looked a bit haggard.

Tink had come as soon as she heard and despite her growing friendship with Regina had taken the news best. She took it upon herself to care for everyone in the waiting room and so Snow found herself nursing a tea, courtesy of Tinkerbell. The fairy had been delighted to hear about the developing relationship between Robin and Regina.

Her gaze wandered to Robin and she was filled with pity for the man. His head was hidden in his hands and he looked like a picture of misery. Robin felt numb and not a single coherent thought went through his head but one chant, one word: _Please!_

Tink tried to give him a cuppa but he didn't react at all – not when she asked him and not even when she shook his shoulder lightly. She didn't know what it felt like to have a soulmate, much less how it was fearing to lose him, and when she looked at Robin she thought maybe not having one wasn't all that bad.

Hook saw Whale's figure approach first and everyone hasted towards the doctor. He looked more than just uncomfortable.

"I'm afraid I can't tell you much."

"What's that supposed to mean? How is Regina?" Robin asked angrily.

Whale turned to him, "I can't tell you about Regina's condition because none of you is a family member. I can't disclose her medical inform…"

The protest that followed was deafening. Everyone was talking at the same time.

"She's my mother!" Henry yelled and the noise went down.

"I know Henry, but you're not yet of age. I'm sorry," Whale looked truly remorseful.

Robin looked murderous and Henry absolutely devastated.

"I'm still technically her step-daughter. That has to count for something," Snow begged. "We're the only family she has."

Whale hesitated, "Fine it's not like I can tell you much anyway. Medically spoken, I have no idea what's happened to her. She was in great pain, without a doubt, but there doesn't seem to be a physiologic reason for it. I'm sorry. Anyway she's still asleep. We don't know when she'll wake but there shouldn't be anything keeping her from waking, at least nothing I can explain."

"Can I see my mum?" Henry asked, his earlier anger forgotten. He only wanted to see Regina.

The doctor smiled and nodded, "Sure she isn't awake, but there's no reason she can't have visitors. However maybe not…" around him everyone rushed past him into the room, "…all at once," Whale sighed.

Regina lied on the bed unmoving, the movement of her chest and the steady peeping of the machine registering her heart beat, were the only proves of her being alive. Despite her paleness Regina seemed younger and Snow White recognised the woman who once saved her life. Her hard lines and the elegant, perfect stature with which she carried her dresses and gowns, they deceived everyone about the petite figure of Regina. In the white sheets of the hospital bed Regina appeared almost fragile

Robin and Henry reached the bed at the same time and each took one hand. Henry's lip trembled and he sniffled, carefully he leaned over and kissed his mother's forehead. Emma hugged him and Henry turned to cry into her shoulder.

The constant peeping was the most beautiful sound to Robin. A sound that most likely would have driven him out of his mind was now the sound that kept his heart beating. His thumb stroke patterns on the back of her hand, over and over again, unrelenting. His whole attention was on the woman.

His eyes drank in her appearance; he really wished she wouldn't look like the bed was swallowing her any moment. He was used to a confident Regina, one that was brave and fearless, even intimidating to some. And Robin couldn't help but wonder if maybe that was part of a ruse to hide how small she really was. If she wasn't wearing her heels she was only just reaching the tip of his nose.

He let himself fall in the chair next to her bed, without letting go of her hand. His thumb kept caressing her hand and the peeping roared in his ears. It smelled like hospital and of disinfectant but Robin didn't smell it after bringing her hand up to his lips and took a deep breath. She smelled so incredibly good. Robin pressed his lips to her hand and clung to her with every last of his senses.

Storybrooke – Present time

"Are you still here?" Whale sighed as he entered Regina's hospital room. "Robin, have you gone home at all? Anyway, maybe it's good you're here, Snow. I've been thinking… There's no medical reason for her condition, maybe there's a magical one. I do believe it's time to ask for help."

"Mr. Gold?" Snow asked.

Whale shrugged, "I'd say he's your best bet."

Snow nodded and pulled out her phone. She called Emma as well, in case she could help with her white magic. Robin wasn't sure how to feel about Rumpelstiltskin looking Regina over, but he was willing to try anything. The past two days had been a nightmare and only light moments were when his son was with him.

Gold arrived around the same time Emma did.

"What exactly happened?" the Dark One asked and looked down at his sleeping former student.

Robin didn't react at first and it was only when Emma cleared her throat loudly that he started to explain with quavering voice what occurred two days ago.

Gold nodded thoughtfully, "Well, I'm not sure yet, but there's only a handful of possibilities." He threw Emma a withering gaze before focusing on Regina again.

Emma straightened up at the gaze, "That's… You don't think this is my fault, do you?"

Rumpelstilstkin stayed silent for a while, "That would be one possibility. I can't tell you much about the consequences of incredible stupidity. That is not my area of expertise, I' afraid."

"What's that supposed to mean! I didn't do anything wrong," Emma defended.

Gold's hard eyes cut through her, "Bringing someone, who was supposed to die in the past into the future isn't exactly proof of high intellect I'm afraid, dearie." Gold shrugged, "Did you think death would simply allow you to take a life from it?"

Emma closed her mouth in shock and Robin's grip tightened, but he stood up so that he was able to look down on Rumpelstiltskin, "So Regina has to die because Marian is back?"

"Maybe," Gold replied, "there's no way to tell for sure."

Emma shrank back at Robin's gaze. She wanted to tell him that he should be grateful, that she brought his wife back, that… Her eyes fell on their joined hands and she forgot what she had wanted to say.

It was panic that flooded Robin's system, his eyes fell on Regina's pale face and his heart constricted – strangled his reason. _Please don't let it be her._

"Can we do something?" Emma asked with a choked voice.

"Not that I know of. Fate will take a life," at least Gold suspected it was like that. "Magic always comes at a price. A life was saved, another one has to end."

"Not Regina!" Robin's voice got louder. "Why her? Not her!" his grip was painful on her hand.

Gold raised a single eyebrow, "Would you prefer if fate got your wife's life back?"

Robin opened his mouth, but no tone made it past her lips. When he closed it again, there was a shocked expression in his eyes.

"Didn't think so," Gold mumbled. "It's just a theory anyway. I'll take a closer look at her. If you may."

"Never!" Robin glared at him. Nothing would make him leave Regina's side especially not to leave her defenceless in the presence of the Dark One. Robin didn't trust him, even if Belle had his dagger.

"Robin, please," Snow piqued up. "He won't hurt her. She's Henry's mother. He wouldn't do that to his grandson." There was a warning in her tone at which Gold rolled his eyes.

Everything in Robin baulked at the idea of leaving her alone, he didn't want to leave her side, had come to rely on the steady beeping noise that assured him she was alive.

"If you want me to help her, I'd suggest you leave," Gold said with boredom in his voice and Robin gritted his teeth.

"If you do anything to her…" Robin hissed at him, "I swear to god I'll hunt you down and kill you. With or without your dagger."

Storybrooke – Yesterday

"Papa!" Robin looked up from Regina's face. Both his hands were gripping one of her smal ones, he brought it up to his face so he could breathe her in.

At his son's voice he turned, released one hand and waved at Roland. He tried a pitiful excuse for a smile for his son. Roland ran over to him and climbed in his lap, he waved at Henry who sat on the other side of the bed. "Hello Henry!"

"Hello Roland."

"Roland what are you doing here?" Robin hugged his five year old close.

"I wanted to see R'gina. She's sick," Roland explained solemnly. "What's wrong with R'gina, papa?"

Tears filled Robin's eyes and he barely heard Samuel's apology. "I'm sorry, Robin. He wanted hot chocolate, so we went back and he overheard Ruby say something about the Queen being in the hospital. He insisted on visiting her. I couldn't calm him down."

"It's fine," Robin said tiredly. Roland snuggled up to his father and Robin had to admit having his son here was soothing his nerves.

"How's the Queen?" Sam asked and had Robin had the energy, he would have wondered, when exactly the Merry Men had started to care.

"She collapsed from pain. No one seems to know what's wrong with her," Robin's voice was laced with bitterness.

Samuel remembered Maria… Morgana and the way she had screamed when the loss of her magic hit her. So Regina's guess about the Queen losing her magic was right. It was weird thinking of them as two different persons, Sam mused.

"Robin, I'm truly sorry. But I'm sure she'll be fine. She's a strong woman," compassionately he squeezed Robin's shoulder.

Robin nodded and prayed his man was right.

"Stay as long as you need to. We'll take care of Roland, don't worry about a thing."

Robin thanked him with a tired voice.

"Roland, let's go back into camp!" Sam reached his hand out to the boy.

Roland clutched at his father and refused to leave. He wanted to stay, because R'gina was sick and she needed someone to care for her. "I even bringed a book! R'gina teached me to read and she's always happy when I readed to her."

Robin allowed him to stay, he needed his son close and he would provide some kind of distraction to both him and Henry. The boy hadn't gone home either and Robin worried for him. Besides Roland loved Regina dearly and Robin knew Regina did as well. Maybe she'd really wake sooner.

"Roland, you are allowed to stay, but only if you go home later and go to sleep without complaining."

So when Sam reached the camp, he was alone.

"How is the Queen?" a middle aged man named Alan asked.

"She's not yet conscious. It's like we thought, if – when she wakes her magic most likely is lost," Sam answered.

"Men!" Little John raised his voice, "You know what this means. The Queen will be exposed without her magic. She's protected all of us, now it's our turn to protect her!"

"What did you tell Robin about Marian?" Tuck asked after the commotion had died down.

Sam met his eyes, "He didn't ask. I believe he can't think about anything other than Regina. She did say they were soulmates. I think he might be feeling her struggle. We do need to think how we'll play this, however. Robin must never know the truth, it was Regina's last wish."

Storybrooke – Present time

"You can stop pretending to be asleep," bored Gold fell down on the chair Robin formerly occupied. "How long have you been awake?"

"Only a few minutes before you came in. What happened to me, Rumpelstiltskin?" Regina asked with gritted teeth. The unspeakable pain had disappeared but she felt oddly weak.

With a sign the man stood and moved his green glowing hands along her body without actually touching her. He frowned and repeated the process and then again. When he made attempts to try a fourth time, Regina had enough.

"What is it?"

Gold sat back down, "Your magic. It's gone."

"What are you talking about? What do you mean 'gone'?" cold fear gripped Regina.

"It's gone, dearie. There's not a trace of magic in you anymore."

"Temporarily?" Regina snapped for air and she fought the dread down.

"It doesn't look that way. It seems it's gone forever."

"How? How is this possible? How can this happen?" her voice was quieter, defeat creeping into it.

Gold raised an eyebrow; the effects must be more extreme than he guessed. The Queen never gave in without a fight. He shrugged to indicate his guess was as good as hers.

"Do you really think this is the price? For the time travel? For the life that was saved? Is this it?"

Her happiness and her magic, couldn't that be enough? She was the villain of the story, her ending was pain and punishment but the heroes, all of them including Robin, would have their happy end. Robin who had his beloved wife back, his family whole again, he was one of them. Her happiness and her magic… it was a low price to pay, Regina thought cynically.

Gold was more sceptical, "I don't think your magic is quite enough to repay death for a stolen life."

"If the price really is a life, is there a way to find out who it's going to be?"

Gold understood the unasked question. _Is there a way to ensure it's me? _But they had reached the point where even the Dark One had to work with educated guesses.

"I don't know."

Regina nodded, "Is there a way for me to get my magic back?"

"That, dearie I can tell you. There isn't. It's been ripped from you, which would explain the pain and it'll take some time for your body to get used to it. You're feeling weaker than before, don't you? That's not going away anytime soon, I'm afraid… maybe never. Who knows," he giggled.

She closed her eyes and refused to show how hard that knowledge hit her. She was tired and weak and just so very tired. Gold turned to leave but before his hand touched the door knob Regina's voice stopped him.

"Keep it to yourself – please."

"The loss of your magic, dearie?" Gold enquired.

Her exhaustion was too great to stop the words from tumbling from her lips, "Please, I… My magic was my protection, my only protection. I did… everything that I've done – there are so many people who want to kill me. People who wouldn't hesitate a second and the only reason they don't is because they fear me. They want to hurt me but also the people I care about. My magic… that's what they fear and they don't dare to lay a finger on someone they know I care about. If… if they find out I lost it…"

Gold turned and stalked back to her, a strange gleam in his eyes, but oddly different from what Regina seen so far.

"You won't be able to keep it a secret for long, dearie."

"I know. But I just… I just need some time," Regina gulped. "I have to… think of something. I'll find a way to defend myself, I just need some time."

"Surely the thief will be able to provide you with sufficient protection."

Regina laughed with painful bitterness, "He has his wife returned to him. What would he want with me?"

"Well, he did spent two entire days at your bedside," Gold pointed out.

"He feels guilty. He's a good man. But it's his wife he truly loves," not that she could fault him for that. After all, who would ever pick her? And if her knowledge of his honour and feelings wasn't enough, there was still the conversation from before. "Besides you've heard what he said, when you asked him to choose between us."

"As far as I remember he didn't answer that question."

"It was rhetorical anyway and silence is enough of an answer to me."

Rumpelstiltskin looked at the woman in the white hospital bed. The woman he had manipulated and used for his own purposes. The woman he had made sure didn't trust anyone. The woman he had taught magic. The women he shared an odd bond with. And the words fell from his lips.

"The dagger I gave Belle was a fake."

Regina's eyes went wide, "You did what? Rumple, you have to know she'll find out eventually."

The man laughed humourlessly, "Of course I know that."

"Why are you telling me this?" Regina asked with a frown.

"I keep your secret, you keep mine." In reality the guilt was eating at him and sometimes he thought he was going crazy. Belle looked at him with all the love and trust in the world and it was killing him. He didn't have anyone to talk to, who would understand, but Regina… she would.

"Why? Why would you do such a thing? Belle would never use the dagger against you."

"I know. That's not the problem," Gold explained and looked older than before. "Being the Dark One, it's a curse. It gives me power and strength."

"True love breaks any curse," Regina whispered in realisation.

Gold nodded darkly, "She almost broke it once – in the Enchanted Forest. I could feel it, feel the magic leaving me. I couldn't let that happen. Ever since I made sure that it would never come to that."

"You're holding back," Regina said and he agreed.

"If I give her the dagger… It would break the curse. It would be proof of my love and my trust and it would be over."

"Why hold on to it? Belle loves you with or without it."

"Who was I before I became the Dark One?" Rumpelstiltskin asked aggressively. "A weakling, a weak coward who was always running away. I couldn't protect my family, my wife left me because of who I was. When I became the Dark One it all changed. The power, the magic – it makes me strong. What am I without it? I won't be able to protect Belle, not even myself."

And Regina understood, understood because she was having the same thoughts, the same doubts.

"I killed Zelena," he admitted as well.

Regina opened her mouth to reply. She wanted to be angry, wanted to be mad but she was just so very tired.

"She killed, Bae. I couldn't let it go."

"Doesn't matter anymore anyway," Regina said exhausted. She thought about that bizarre feeling of happiness she had had at thinking she had found a family member.

Rumpelstiltskin stood and Regina had one last request, "I don't want to see anyone. No one!"

"Henry?"

"No one," Regina repeated. "Please let Whale know, I don't want anyone to enter my room."

He snickered, "As you wish, Your Majesty."

Her voice stopped him at the door for the second time, "You should tell her. Even if you don't give her the dagger. You should tell her. We both know the truth will be revealed sooner or later. She should hear it from you."

Gold left the room without looking back.

Regina was left alone in the room. She didn't know what would happen next or how she would cope with the loss of her magic. She thought about Henry and Roland, about Robin and his not-so-dead wife and one thought was most prominent.

_It ends here._

R&R

* * *

**Tell me what you think!**


	11. The right thing to do

**at SamathaFreita3: Thanks, and all about Henry and Robin in this chapter.**

**at pt159: Thank you very much.**

**at theEvilPandaa: It'll get better, don't worry.**

**at shikasgirl10: Thanks a lot.**

**at Thornspike: I agree, but he also has them on the show. Ah, sorry about Henry, but a hint of in in this one. Thanks a lot for reviewing.**

**at authorlouise: I feel sorry for her too. Well, she was the EQ, there are probably a lot of people wanting to get back at her, but I don't see Whate having much of a reason.**

**at Anny Rodrigues: Yep, sorry, but she does. I think she's relied on her magic way too much and that she'll grow learning to cope without it. Hope you'll still keep reading. **

**at Casey: Great guess about Marian. You hit the nail on the head! Thank you so much for reviewing.**

**at TheRebirthofPain: Yep, I know, but it's the price for keeping the rift together... so sadly she won't be getting it back, but that doesn't mean she can't defend herself or that she can't learn how to :)**

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed.**

**I don't own nothing.**

* * *

**The right thing to do**

Storybrooke – Present time

He hadn't seen her in two weeks and he thought he might just go crazy. With every passing minute he felt worse. He tried to respect her, give her time and space, he did, but he just about had enough.

Rumpelstilstkin had come out of her room and told them she didn't want to see anyone – and yes that included her son. Everyone had been shell-shocked. Whale had promised to talk to her but when he came back he told them Regina's response was negative and that she insisted no one would be allowed to visit her.

So logically Robin had broken in her room not much later.

She had told him off and that he should go back to his wife. She had said she was no longer interested and when he had refused, she had called security on him. Whale had asked him not to show up anymore because he was upsetting her, and so Robin caved.

Storybrooke – Two weeks ago

"Robin, you're back! How's the Queen?" Alan saw Robin approach first.

"She's woken, but not well," Robin said tiredly. "I need to talk to Marian. I have to apologize and explain to her where I've been."

"Robin there's something we need to tell you," John said uncomfortably. "Maybe you should sit down."

"Where's Marian?" Robin asked alarmed and some sort of very bad feeling formed in his stomach.

"She's not… She's kind of… gone," John stumbled over the words and Tuck explained further.

"It was odd, but I believe it was because she didn't belong in this time. She started to fade, pulsed with light and then it faded and her form seemed almost transparent. She wasn't in pain," he hurried to add. "She was just fading away peacefully. Marian said that she loved both you and Roland and she was happy to have seen you again and that you've done an amazing job with Roland. Robin, she said she wants you to be happy, you and Roland. She smiled and then she simply faded. She was happy, don't worry."

"When did this happen?" Robin gasped out, his head spinning.

Tuck looked away guiltily, "The first night she came back…"

"What?! She's been gone… Why haven't you told me sooner?" Robin exploded.

He was angry, so very angry but not with them. He was angry at himself for completing forgetting about her. And he felt guilty so horribly guilty. The anger faded fast and the guilt stayed. He hadn't spent a minute with her in the precious little time she was given, worse even Marian had barely spent time with Roland, with her son. He felt guilty because she had to leave this world without him at her side and because he wasn't there to protect her. But mostly he felt guilty because not only had he spent every second he was away next to another woman, but also because there was this tiny part of him (one he trampled down, one he hated) that was relieved because death had gotten Marian back and it meant Regina would be safe. Bile rose in him, he was a terrible person.

"Robin we are sorry, but it all happened so fast and when she was gone… There was no need to add to your burden with the Queen in critical condition. There wasn't anything you could have done."

He might throw up, Robin thought. He lost his wife again and this time it felt worse than the first time because he didn't feel the emptiness that went along with her passing the first time, not the unbearable pain or the deep never-ending misery. He had let her go and all he could feel was terrible guilt because she had loved him and he had let her down and he was sorry, so very, very sorry.

"Robin," John sat down next to him. Robin hadn't even realised he had sunken to the ground. "Robin, you've mourned her already, for a very long time before you let her go. None of us will judge you if you don't do it again. She's only been here a few hours and it took you months to get over her death, you don't have to descend into misery again. You let her go and it was the healthy thing to do. You have no reason to feel bad. Marian wouldn't want that, she said you should be happy and that's what all of us want for you."

Before Regina had collapsed Robin hadn't known what to do, he only knew that his wife was back and he had fallen madly in love with another. But when he thought he might lose Regina forever, it had felt like a part of him was dying as well and he didn't have a doubt that he needed to stay with her. He managed to life without Marian and moved on, he had loved her once but if Regina died… he didn't know how he could ever live on. And the guilt was weighting him down even more.

He didn't try to approach Regina after that for a week, because he felt he owed it to his wife to wait – even if it killed him. He had to atone for his sins, because the part of him that was relieved at Marian's passing was a part he couldn't erase from his consciousness.

Storybrooke – Present time

So Robin had held back, had punished himself for his behaviour towards Marian and kept his distance from Regina. He had barely slept, slaving himself away day and night or stewed in his guilt, but after a week he had reached his limit. He needed to see Regina, had to see that she really was fine. So he had tried to meet her, had tried to visit her at her house - she didn't let him in and he didn't want to break in because he was not some stalker. He had tried to accidently run into her – she had avoided him like the plague, it was like she could smell he was there or something. He had tried to run into her on purpose and she had straight out ignored him. He even tried using one of those new devices they called a mobile (Regina had given him one before…) and she had hung up on him. Either she was using magic or she was a lot faster than he had given her credit for because after running into him twice, she turned every time she caught a glimpse of him and ran the other way and he couldn't catch up to her – and he was fast!

Robin didn't understand why. Yes, surely Marian's appearance had been a shock, but he had been with Regina, had run after her – so she couldn't, shouldn't believe he had wanted to leave her. It was nerve-wrecking and he was unusually aggressive and moody – tough that also had to do with the guilt. But he started to accept what had happened – the Merry Men being a great help at that – and all he needed was Regina. Roland missed her as well and kept asking to go eat ice-cream with "R'gina" again, Robin didn't have an answer for him.

Worst was that Robin was worried for Regina – worried being a mild term for the terrors he saw happen before him every time he closed his eyes, because she didn't value her life and she was acting in a way that had him imagine horrible things.

While she looked and acted like nothing happened – if one were to ignore the fact that she ran every time she saw him – she also didn't let anyone close to her. Before, she had started to open up to people, had even stroke up a tentative friendship with Snow White, but now she was isolating herself from everyone – even Henry. And that was what caused Robin's nausea, because she loved Henry more than anything.

R&R

Regina stared at the lasagne. She had barely eaten two bites today and she really should at least try her homemade cooking. But the thought made her want to vomit and she shoved the plate to the side. She was glad to have managed to deceive most people for the past two weeks and avoid those she had no intention of seeing. Without her make-up on, the paleness of her skin made her look like a ghost and she had to pick her wardrobe carefully to hide her weight loss. It wasn't that she actually cared what people thought of her but she could no longer afford the luxury of letting other's think she was weak – because now she really was.

Her magic had allowed her to rest assured about her safety despite her petite stature and her elaborate gowns as the Evil Queen had made her seem more... massive. Now she had neither.

The other reason to be careful not to show weakness was Snow White. Regina wanted to prevent the princess from seeing her condition, because that would only ever result in Snow getting more involved. Really that women was going to be the death of her, she kept trying to chat or wanting to 'help her'. Tough in a way Regina was grateful, trying to evade Snow's infamous talks, kept her from acknowledging the feeling of void that had settled into her.

Regina had made her decision, she kept away from Robin and Roland and Henry. She missed them terribly. She had found herself picking up the phone about to call Robin more often than she would have liked. Only because she wanted to hear his voice… no because she needed him, wanted to get lost in his arms and feel safe for the first time in weeks. She missed him so much; she felt her body physically ache. But she had made her decision. Henry as well, he was kept at distance, even if Regina didn't dismiss him at her doorstep, like she did with everyone else. Her mind was made up and she had prolonged it for too long already. It was time to act.

As if her resolution had been heard the bell announced she had a guest, Snow White was here. Snow had been incredibly happy when Regina had called this morning and asked her to come over to talk. She had been so relieved that she put salt in David's coffee, but his face was somehow worth it.

"Would you like some tea, coffee or maybe some lasagne?" Regina offered as the two women stepped into the kitchen. She had to keep up the pretence that everything was just fine.

Snow declined and she glanced at her step-mother from the corner of her eyes. Her worries increased, she was more fragile than ever, despite the tough front she put up. She was separating herself from everyone else and that wouldn't be worrisome all that much, if it didn't include Henry as well.

Robin looked haggard as well and very tired, Snow was afraid he'd drop any moment, she didn't understand why those two weren't together anymore, but it was definitely Regina's doing.

With growing uneasy Snow looked at Regina's lose blouse, a bit too lose if you asked her. A look at the counter and indeed there sat the lasagne with a piece missing and if one looked a bit farther behind there was also a plate with a perfectly untouched piece of lasagne. Snow hoped she'd at least be able to convince Regina to allow Henry to stay with her.

"How are you, Regina?" Snow groaned inwardly, what a stupid question to ask.

"Snow I didn't ask you here to play happy family. I need to give you something and then I'd like for you to leave," Regina swiftly moved over and picked up an envelope from the table.

The collywobbles in Snow's stomach intensified and she pulled out the papers from the envelope. She skimmed the pages and gasp in shock, "Regina, this is… You can't be serious."

"Clearly it is. I've already signed, but as you can see it still requires Emma's signature," Regina said stiffly. She had her arms crossed in front of her chest and her whole posture screamed defence.

Snow's eyes filled with tears, "Why? Regina, why would you do that? Please, you need to…"

"I've made up my mind. Don't let the door hit you on your way out," Regina indicated to the door.

Snow used her last resort, "Regina, how can you do this to Henry? He's been wanting to move in with you for a…"

Regina's eyes flashed dangerously, "Henry made it very clear who he views as his mother. Thank you very much, Snow White."

"So, this is your way of punishing him?"

Regina stepped closer to her, "I'm doing what's best for my… for Henry. He's a Charming, always has been, always will be and now that I had time to get used to it I've accepted it and I decided it's for the best. As a Charming he's got a guaranteed happy end, while Mills aren't exactly lucky with it. And for the record I'm doing precisely what your daughter did, giving him his best chance."

For a second Snow was too stunned to reply, Regina's logic was ridiculous and if the topic wasn't as serious, she would have laughed. Before she could react Regina had gripped her arm and shoved her the last meters to the door and dropped her outside. Speechless Snow stood in front of the closed door with the blasted envelope in her hand.

She needed to talk to Emma and then she wanted to call Robin. He looked dreadful because Regina kept ignoring him, maybe if he knew how bad things really had gotten he'd stop being so damned respectful and break in her house and talk some sense into her. The weight loss and her unapproachable attitude got worse… and now this. Something had to be done.

When Snow entered the apartment, Emma was soothing her little brother and, if the smell was any indication, David tried his luck making dinner. Unfortunately cooking wasn't one of his talents.

"Emma, we need to talk," Snow said outright. "Where's Henry?"

"Upstairs. Playing some kind of video game," Emma rolled her eyes. "What's going on? Is everything alright with Regina?"

David came over from the kitchen, clearly interested as well.

Snow looked at them solemnly and when Emma laid Neal back in his crib, she handed her the envelope wordlessly.

Her husband came over and gave her a chaste kiss, and then he looked at her questioningly. Her expression was worried and David' thumb smoothed over the frown on her forehead.

"What the hell is this?" Emma asked incredulously, she gave the papers to David.

"She wants to give up Henry?!" David was grobsmacked. Regina had signed away all her parental rights to Emma.

"This makes no sense," Emma pinched the bridge of her nose. "Regina loves Henry more than anything. Why would she do this?"

Snow sighed and sank on the sofa. She bit back her tears and started to explain what happened earlier.

"That is absolutely ridiculous," Emma stood up. "I'll talk to her."

"Emma, please don't take this the wrong way, but I honestly think you're the last person Regina wants to talk to," David said cautiously.

"I don't care. If she thinks she can give up Henry, just like that she…"

"My mum wants what?!"

Startled the three adults turned to the stairs.

"Henry…"

The boy didn't listen, "This is your fault!" he screamed. His face contorted in anger, "My mum was happy until you brought back Marian and now she doesn't even want me anymore! I want my mum!"

He stormed past her and was out the door before Emma recovered from the shock. His words from the hospital resonated in her head. _"You're not my mum, you can't tell me anything. I want to stay here with my real mum."_

She shook the words off and was about to run after him, when Snow held her back. "Emma, let him go. Maybe he'll be able to bring Regina to her senses."

Snow had hoped things would go differently and Henry wouldn't have gotten hurt, but maybe it would turn out well in the end.

Henry didn't stop even when the bumped into people, he kept running. Tears streamed down his face and once he reached his door he hammered and screamed for his mother.

Inside Regina heard Henry and hasted to the door. "Henry! What happened? Are you alright?"

Henry threw himself in her arms and clutched at her for dear life.

"Henry?" Regina ran her fingers through his hair soothingly. She saw how distraught Henry was and held onto him. She leaned back a little and stroke over his head, "What's going on?"

"Please, don't give me away," he burst out.

"Henry…" Regina was speechless. "Come in first."

Regina hugged him and kept her arm on his shoulders as they walked in the house, "Do you want to drink or eat something?"

"I'm sorry, mum, I really am. I know I said terrible things to you and I said that you weren't my real mum and that you didn't love me, but I didn't mean it and I know it's not true. I'm so sorry, please don't leave me. I'll be good, I promise, but please don't give me away," fresh tears flooded his cheeks and Regina's heart broke.

"Henry, I'm so sorry," she held him more tightly. She never ever meant to hurt him.

"You're my mum," he sniffed.

Regina let him cry at her shoulder until he calmed down.

"Henry, I didn't want to hurt you," Regina explained softly. "I thought it would make things better and easier for you. I thought you were happy in New York with Emma."

His heart sunk and every bad word he ever threw at his mum crossed his mind. Sure his mum had made mistakes, but she loved him and she always thought about him first, and he loved her back. But his mum didn't know that, at least she didn't believe it. "I love you, mum. I want you to stay my mum."

"I want only what's best for you. You know that Henry, don't you?"

"I want you to be my mum. That's what's best for me," Henry said.

"Henry, I'm sorry, very sorry. I never wanted you to feel like I didn't want you. I'd do anything for you. I thought you'd be happier with Emma and the Charmings, but it that's really what you want…" she smiled and Henry's smile brightened. And for the first time in weeks Regina felt lighter and a true smile tugged at her lips.

"Can I please move back in?"

Regina blinked, "What about Emma?"

"This is my home. Emma is my mum as well, and I'll still want to see her, but I want to stay with you," he didn't want to admit that he also wanted to stay because he was afraid she'd change her mind and he'd lose her. But mostly he wanted to move in and then maybe they could work something out and he'd switch between Regina and Emma.

Her whole resolve crumbled, faintly she could hear her mother reprimanding her for being weak, but Henry's big glassy eyes were more important, "Of course you can stay, Henry. This is your home, you're always welcome. I'm sorry I ever made you think differently."

"Great, I'm going to call Emma so she can bring me my stuff," exited Henry got up and looked for the phone.

Regina watched him and her heart felt lighter. She no longer felt like she was drowning, but she had also decided to let him go because she was no longer able to protect him without her magic. She had lots of enemies, none of which was above using her son to hurt her. And for the first time, she was truly and honestly glad that the other part of the family was part of the 'butterfly-trading-cards-and-unicorn-stickers-brigade'.

R&R

"How is the Queen?" Little John asked with his voice lowered and looked around in case their leader was around. Robin had no idea that his men had made it their business to protect the woman and made sure one of them was always watching over her. All of them were hoping the two of them would reconcile sooner or later and it wasn't Robin who was making it difficult. The Queen hadn't spotted them yet and there were no rumours about her collapse that were even close to the truth. Most of the people believed that it was caused by her broken heart because of Robin or they believed Rumpelstiltskin's theory about death's decision between Regina and Marian. And Robin kept getting condolences from complete strangers and only a few days ago one of the men had witnessed how one of them had held Regina responsible for Marian's death, Arthur had managed to intervene before Robin punched him straight in the face.

But not one rumour suspected Regina had lost her powers. It was only a matter of time and the truth would be revealed and then one of the Queen's enemies would make a move, but the Merry Men were ready. They were watching over her, whether she liked it or not – and no doubt she would not.

Samuel shrugged at John's question, "Snow White came by but left quickly and she seemed somewhat disturbed. Pretty sure she got thrown by the Queen. Then her boy came by, he was crying and upset. He didn't leave the house before I was ousted. But the blonde sheriff brought a suitcase that he picked up at the doorstep. I think he'll stay with her from now on."

That was good news. Maybe Henry would shake his mother from her isolation. None of the men had missed how sickly Regina looked. Being separated from Robin had the same effects on her than it had on him. Something had to be done. Regina would be safer if Robin knew about her loss of magic and they were together and also it would be better for the mood in the camp. Robin was intolerable.

"John, we need to do something. It cannot go on like this," Friar Tuck joined them. "Just now Roland asked me, if it was his fault Regina didn't talk to his papa anymore. He might be young but he's not blind or deaf. He knows something is going on."

All three men sighed collectively.

R&R

Robin wielded the axe frustrated and hit the tree repeatedly. He had waited long enough. The straw to break the camel's back had been when Roland asked him teary-eyed if Regina didn't like him anymore. Then Robin had promised him they would visit Regina today, and he didn't care in the slightest that Regina had no idea about it. She may be able to send him away but she'd never slam the door in his son's face. He had really reached his lowest point Robin had to admit. He was about to use his son in order to talk to Regina. He could picture her reaction vividly, but he didn't care. He'd endure a thousand deadly glares and contemptuous comments if only she'd stop behaving like he didn't exist. It reminded him bizarrely of the missing year, where he kept annoying only to feel her gaze on him and only him! Only now that he knew how it felt to receive her loving, caring gaze, her vulnerability and her touch, her annoyed look felt somehow unsatisfying.

"Papa," Robin looked up and realised he only held the axe loosely at his side and stared into space. "Can we go visit R'gina now?" Roland tugged at his sleeve and Robin kneeled before him.

"Sure my son. Let me freshen up, because otherwise she won't let me in because I stink," Roland giggled and Robin thought that his odour surely was not the reason she'd refuse them.

Roland was telling him to hurry up the whole process through. He missed Regina very much and the last time he had seen her, she had been in the hospital. Despite his father's reassurance that Regina was fine, Roland had worried.

Not even half an hour later father and son made their way to Regina's. With every step they took Robin's heart beat faster and his giddiness at finally seeing Regina overwhelmed his nervousness. He'd had enough. Regina would have to listen to him this time. Robin prayed she would give him another chance, regardless of how he still didn't know how he lost his first chance in the first place. Something he also planned on figuring out.

Roland bounced from one foot to another, when the doorbell announced their arrival. Robin chuckled at his son's antics.

It wasn't Regina but Henry who opened the door. Roland's smile widened, "Henry!"

He waved at the older boy enthusiastically. The two hadn't seen each other very often, but Roland had admired Henry from the start.

"Hi Roland," Henry ginned.

"Is R'gina here? We want to visit R'gina," Roland chattered.

Unsure Henry looked over his shoulder and then back to Robin. His mum wouldn't be happy, but Roland's happy face and Robin's pleading eyes convinced Henry to let them in. Henry didn't understand what exactly happened between his mother and her boyfriend (and no one else did either, apparently), but he liked Robin and he wanted his mother happy and clearly he had made her happy, very happy. Besides Robin had spent two days at Regina's bedside.

Robin looked dreadful, Henry thought, he probably hadn't slept in days.

"R'gina!" Roland whirled through the foyer and in the time it took Robin to catch up to him, the boy had already settled himself in Regina's arms. Robin wasn't jealous, he really wasn't, especially when it was about his son, but damn it, what he wouldn't give to switch with his son for only a few seconds.

Roland's arms were crossed behind her neck and he rested his head on her shoulder. Regina smiled down at him lovingly as he whispered how much he missed her. She turned away from the door knowing Robin's eyes were on her.

"I've missed you too, Roland," Regina told him. "How about I make some hot chocolate and you tell me everything you've done these last weeks?"

His head shot up and his curls bounced as he nodded with bright eyes. Robin trailed after them and plopped down on the table on the opposite side of his son. Henry followed as well and took the seat next to Roland. Regina had her back turned to them. Her hands shook as she warmed the milk and filled the cups. She gave one to Roland and the other to Henry.

"What? I don't get hot chocolate?"

Regina froze at Robin's voice. He chose to keep the tone deliberately light, more meant to tease her than to be taken seriously. She answered without looking at him.

"Hot chocolate? How old are you? You're getting tea."

Roland giggled and Regina's hands shook even harder while making the tea. It wasn't that she wanted to serve him or give him a reason to stay, but she needed something to occupy herself. She fought against the lump in her throat and gulped away the tears. She blinked wildly and got herself under control. If there was one thing she had her mother to be grateful for, it was for drilling perfect discipline into her mercilessly.

The mug met the table with a loud bang and she avoided his eyes.

"No, don't sit over there R'gina," Roland looked at her with hope filled eyes and she couldn't find it in her to disappoint him.

She hadn't wanted to sit opposite of Robin, but Roland's happy laugh with his stupid dimples he inherited from his stupid father, made it impossible to say no to him. So Regina sat down and took Roland on her lap. She was concentrating on the boy, at least she hoped she was able to.

Regina hated how it cost all her remaining strength not to look at Robin. She wanted to, so very badly even if it would break her heart, she wanted to look into his eyes. Those deep blue eyes that had looked at her with such compassion and understanding (but now they wouldn't, because she had killed his wife – twice if Rumpelstiltskin was to be believed), and those damned dimples which he used only to drive her insane with those bleeding smirks of his… she just wanted a glimpse because she had missed him so very bad.

Robin hated how she didn't look had him. She had to, not only because he needed it, and that it did, but also because he needed to see how she was. Her eyes were extraordinarily expressive, she controlled every inch of her body with perfection, was able to banish any and all stirring of emotion from her facial features, but her eyes… her eyes told so much more. It wasn't easy to read them, but Robin had been able to and he needed to know that this connection, this bond between them, was not completely severed yet. But mostly he wanted her to look at him, so that he had at least some form of contact with her, so maybe he could show her what he felt – and clearly physical contact to do so was out of the question for now.

But her attention kept being on his son or her son, but never him. She listened intently to Roland's tales and she took Roland's mug, when he was about to spill something and Robin's eyes narrowed at the movement. Her watch almost fell off her hand. Gradually his eyes wandered over her form. Her eyes were shrunken and her cheekbones stood out more prominent than before, her skin was pale, almost ashen and her clothes fit too loosely for his taste. Anger and worry fought in him. What was Regina thinking neglecting her health like that? His grip in the mug tightened to the point where his knuckles turned white.

Henry let his gaze wander from Robin to his mother and back again, and then he made a decision.

"Hey Roland, outside there's this huge tree. I always wanted to build a tree house in there. Would you like to help me plan it?"

Roland scrambled down from Regina so fast he almost met the floor in the most unfortunate of ways, but Regina held him and set him down. "In Sherwood we lived in the trees! I know how that works," he told Henry seriously.

The older boy grabbed his hand and shot his mother an apologetic glance in advance. Regina froze when the two boys disappeared into the garden. She was alone – with Robin Hood.

R&R

* * *

**Tell me what you think!**


	12. Who I am

**at SamanthaFreita3: Thanks a lot. I don't think Regina will ever be able to push Henry completely from her heart. **

**at shikasgirl10: Thank you!**

**at daisiella13: Yeah, I guess he is, but I think that's what all of us are thinking in regards of season 4.**

**at Casey: Sorry, but I updated really fast. Thanks for having faith, but you'll need to wait a few chapters for the really important part of the discussion.**

**at pt159: I apologise and I'm making it up by updating already. **

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed.**

**I don't own anything.**

* * *

**Who I am**

Storybrooke - Present time

Regina fixed her eyes strictly to the ground and Robin sighed. He stood up and went around the table. Regina shot up from her chair before he could reach her, "Was that the phone? I'll better go take a look."

Regina fled from the kitchen leaving a speechless Robin behind. Such a blunt lie made his jaw drop.

He stormed after her and reached her shortly before she could disappear up the stairs. His hand encircled her upper arm and it hit him how much weight Regina must have lost.

"You're not seriously running away from me, are you Regina?" he asked and managed to keep the anger and worry from his voice. His tone was gentle and calm, accusations would not help him.

She tried to shake off his hand it but his grip was like iron. Regina couldn't get rid of him and he was too close. She could smell him and feel the heat of his fingers slipping under her skin. The warmth that radiated from his body was warming her inside. His hold was unyielding without hurting her and he was too close and it was just too much. Regina's carefully constructed mask crumpled and she broke. Tears clouded her vision and she was gasping for air. She was having a panic attack.

"Hey, hey," Robin let go off her arm and rubbed his thumb over her cheek. Then he hooked a finger under her chin and tilted her head up. "Calm down, Regina. Breathe in deeply and out again. Keep your eyes on me, alright?"

Too close, he was much too close, but when her eyes met his blue ones her body relaxed without her brain agreeing. How could she not if he looked at her like she was the most precious thing on the world?

Robin stepped closer and his arms enfolded her small waist and finally – finally she was back in his arms. Robin took a deep breath and his eyes closed with relief. Her dainty fingers dug into his chest and his smell surrounded her while he comforted her, soothed her. His hands drew circles on her back and she leaned into his embrace.

He was complete, that's what it felt like. The piece of him that had been missing was returned. Regina was in his arms and he couldn't help the huge grin from his face. Everything would be alright. He still needed to figure out what had caused her to distant herself from him, but there was enough time for that later.

Slowly but surely the rational part of Regina started to work again. Her heart and body may agree that this was the place to stay, the place she belonged - because she loved him, she had known all along but in this very moment the realisation passed through her like lightning, but her brain rebelled against her instincts. She heard her mother and Rumpelstiltskin warning her that love was weakness and her head was winning more and more against her heart. The fingers that had just clutched at him like he was her life line, like she needed him, pushed against him suddenly. It took him by surprise and that he staggered a few steps back.

It hadn't been a hard push, nevertheless for Robin it felt like a punch in the gut. Every step he took towards her, she responded by taking two back. And as much as he wanted to press on, he gave her some room to breathe.

"Regina's what's wrong?" he tried to stay calm, but with his rising desperation and frustration it was getting more and more difficult.

"I… you should go," Regina attempted to regain her composure.

"Like hell I will. I want a bloody answer! What the bleeding hell is wrong with you? Why do you keep running away from me and why do you seem so goddamn determined to keep away from me? Do you have even the slightest idea how much that hurts, Regina? And I don't bloody understand what I did to deserve it. What did I do wrong? Can you tell me that?" his volume increased but he restrained himself from stepping closer.

She laughed bitterly, "You need an answer for that? It should be fairly obvious."

Anger rose in him, "It appears I have missed it. Please enlighten me!" he bit out.

"You wife is dead, in case you missed that. Because of me – again! I don't know who you thought you were getting involved with, but you'd do well to remember that I'm the Evil Queen - especially after what I did to your wife. You have no idea what I did to people, no idea who I am," her voice kept getting louder. "I didn't even remember her! She was just one of many, many faces. Most likely I didn't even care what was going to happen to her. I killed her, Robin and I killed others. Many times and I enjoyed it."

She had to make him understand, make him see who she really was, because sooner or later he would understand the gravity of it all and leave her, it was better to get it over now.

"Did you know that I slaughtered a whole village once, just because Snow White had been hiding there for a while? Every single person, Robin, even the children. I just didn't care," she snorted in disgust at herself.

"And that's only the tip of the iceberg. I did terrible thing, horrible, unspeakable things. Do you know what you have to do to enhance the Dark Curse? You have to kill what you love most. I ripped my father's heart right from his chest and crushed it, right in front of his eyes. I separated parents from their children and betrayed every single person I have ever known. And I took what I wanted, even if no one else wanted it. Did I tell you about Graham? Oh, you'll like that one," her lips distorted to a cruel smile.

"He was the huntsman supposed to bring me Snow White's heart, but he failed. So I took his heart and because he was also fairly attractive I took him to bed as well. And it wasn't like he wanted it, but I held his heart, so he didn't have much of a choice. Basically I raped him and when he fell in love with Emma, I simply took his heart and crushed it. And of course then there would be your wife! Not only have I ripped her from you and Roland, therefore robbing your son of his mother and your wife of her son, I let her be executed after I - as I have recently learned - dragged her through a dozen villages to serve as an example for what happens to those who help Snow White. And I did it to so many people that even now I can't remember it! Even now after seeing her, I don't remember. And then of course she had to die again, because fate decided out of reason unknown to me that I haven't suffered enough. So tell me, Robin Hood, what do you want from me? I'm the Evil Queen, always have been, always will be. This is the kind of person I am, this is who I am," she screamed.

Robin had enough, anger wrapped itself around him and he grabbed her arm. His voice was dangerously controlled and his eyes drilled in her skull, "And you think I don't know that? Do you think I don't know what the Evil Queen did? I wasn't living under a rock, Regina. I lost a lot of my men to her dark knights and we stumbled upon many villages she let burn to the ground. It's true I never met you myself, but I'm well aware of the Evil Queen's ways. But that's not you! Not anymore. You think I didn't try to view you as the Evil Queen? I thought myself crazy because I simply couldn't. It might be true that you have done horrible things in your past, but I can't ignore what I feel for you. We all have a past, Regina. I was able to forgive myself for Marian's passing, so I should bestow the same courtesy to you. Trust me those two days you were unconscious gave me more than enough time to think about it. I sat next to your bed for two bloody days and all I could think about was how I couldn't live without you. I've never felt more terrible in my life. I understand what you did to Marian in a different past, but I don't hate you for it. I could never hate you. I forgive you, because you are Regina and not the Evil Queen. It's you future I want, not your past."

There had been more, he had wanted to tell her something else, something more but his head was empty. He felt her slip away under his fingers and his fear that he might lose her immobilized his thoughts. He had backed her into a corner and his hands enclosed both her arms as if he was about to shake her.

Her heart pounded against her rib cage and his eyes drilled straight into her soul and Regina couldn't breathe. He was so close their breath mingled and she felt his heavy breathing on her face. And she couldn't breathe; desperate she hit against his chest and tried to rid herself of his touch. It took Robin a few seconds to understand and he took a few steps back, shocked he had scared her that much. Tears glittered in her eyes as she sank to the floor and hid her head in her hands.

"Regina…" Robin made a move to close the distance between them and froze when her hands came up to make an all-to familiar wave that she had used more than once to keep him at distance in the Enchanted Forest. But to his bafflement his feet weren't glued to the ground when he tried to take another step.

He looked down at her in alarm and kneeled down. At seeing her pained face Robin shuddered. He gasped when he finally understood, "Your magic…"

Regina managed to get up with shaking feet and Robin restrained himself from helping her up.

"Go!" her voice trembled as well. "Go! Leave!"

"When did it happen?" Robin demanded to know, but he granted her some distance.

"No! Nothing happened, I'm fine," fear spread through her. She couldn't be weak, not again. Why was she always weak when he was around?

"Regina, when did it happen?" he asked more calmly. "It was the night you collapsed, wasn't it?" his voice was soft.

Her arms wrapped around her torso as if she was cold… or needed to protect herself. The thought almost killed Robin and he needed every ounce of strength to keep himself from reaching out to her. Did she seriously believe she needed to protect herself while he was around? From him even?

"Robin, please. Just leave," her voice broke.

He closed his eyes for a second, his body baulked physically at leaving her alone, but her barriers were wound up tight and high around her and her posture was defensive.

"Alright, Regina. I'll go, but only under one condition."

"This is my house," Regina found her boldness. "You leave when I tell you to."

"One condition," he held her gaze. "You'll need a way to defend yourself. Let me help you."

"I don't need someone to protect me. I'm the Evil Queen; I'm more than capable of defending myself."

Robin shook his head," I never said you needed someone to protect you. Let me show you, how to protect yourself. You've relied on your magic up until now. Let me teach you."

Regina wanted to decline, wanted him to leave her alone, so he could never hurt her again. But he was right. And there wasn't anyone else she could turn to. There wasn't anyone else she could ask, no one she could trust with her secret. And if something happened, if anyone tried anything, she had to be able to protect Henry and Roland – Henry, only Henry was her son, she reminded herself.

"I won't breathe a word of this to anyone," he promised and the worst part was that she believed him.

She had to get rid of him, if she spent another minute that close to him she'd throw himself in his arms and never let go of him.

"Alright, alright, I'm in. I'll let you teach me. Just go!" she begged and the pain in his chest got hotter. Absently he rubbed the spot.

"I'll be back tomorrow and we'll get started," maybe she didn't allow him to protect her – yet – but that didn't mean he wasn't willing to do anything in his power to make sure she was save.

"Fine, just go."

Robin fought the instinct down that insisted he'd stay close to her. But he understood she needed some space. Apparently his presence was hurting her – he rubbed his chest – so he'd leave, for now. It was like they were back in the Enchanted Forest, where she kept pushing him away. It would appear he'd have to start over again, but it didn't matter. No matter what happened, it would be worth it, if he got her back.

R&R

"Papa?" Robin crouched down before his son when he felt a tug on his shirt. "You sayed we will go to R'gina today."

"Yes that I said indeed. How would you like it if we go there for lunch?"

Roland's brown eyes lightened up, "Regina cooks?"

Robin smirked; the enthusiasm's in his son's voice was absolutely understandable. Regina was an amazing cook, "I'll call her later and ask if we can come over. But we need to wait a little longer."

"Why?"

Robin chuckled, "Son, not everyone is up at five a.m."

Roland clearly hadn't discovered the beauty of sleeping in, yet. Up with the sun, was his motto.

Robin managed to distract Roland until nine, but then he had to admit defeat and his resistance hadn't been very great in the first place. Besides Roland was very insistent and Robin was anxious to know how Regina was. She hadn't been looking good when he left last night. And he hated that she spent the night alone. The twinge in his heart didn't lessen anymore and the spot above his chest was raw from rubbing. Again, Robin had barely slept, but knowing he was going to see her the next day had helped.

R&R

Her head was pounding when she opened her eyes that morning and it took her a few seconds to realise it was the phone that had torn her from slumber. She had only been able to sleep after treating herself to not only one but two sleeping pills. After Robin and Roland had left, she had told Henry she was going to bed and that there was still lasagne left in the kitchen. She hoped Henry hadn't heard her sobbing, but she doubted it. The walls of her bedroom were supposed to be sound-proof. Blindly she reached for the phone, "Mills."

On the other side of the line Robin had to grin when he heard her scuffed, sleepy and not entirely happy greeting.

"R'gina!"

Regina's eyes snapped open and she couldn't keep the smile from her face, "Roland?"

The child giggled and Regina's heart warmed.

"Papa sayed that if I asked nice, you cook for us."

Her heart melted at his hopeful voice and she thought about the kitchen table filled with the people she loved, her sons and Robin. And the pain hit her unexpected. Roland wasn't her son and Robin and she weren't together anymore.

Robin rubbed the spot harder and frowned when Regina didn't answer. When she finally did, her voice sounded breathy, "Sure Roland, I would like that very much. You can come by to eat anytime you want. Can't let you get starved by the cavemen."

The insult made Robin grin, especially as he caught sight of John's offended face. He was usually the one to cook.

Roland cheered, "When can we come? I want to come, Henry sayed that we can plan the tree house and…"

Regina laughed out loud on the other side of town, a sound that made Robin's hear soar.

"Roland, I just woke up and Henry is still asleep."

The disappointed sound that Robin's son made, had Regina relenting. She couldn't resist, "How about that? You're papa can bring you over in an hour, then I'll be ready and Henry will also be awake. But only if you'll help me cook."

There was some whispering in the line and then Roland was back on, "Can Papa help too?"

Regina's eyes narrowed. This dirty thief! How dare he use his son like that! He knew, she couldn't deny his son anything. Apparently it wasn't enough that he was allowed to visit her for their ridiculous self-defence lesson.

"Tell him, not to get in my way."

"Papa says he wouldn't dream of it."

Regina swallowed down the lump that lodged in her throat, "I'll see you soon Roland. I'm looking forward to see you."

R&R

Henry had been less than happy at being woken early - if nine a.m. could be seen as early – on the weekend. But he liked Robin and Roland and he really wanted his mother and Robin to reconcile. He would be a great elder brother, if he might say so himself.

He rolled out of bed and thought about needing to tell his mother, what he had Emma talked about yesterday on the phone. He wasn't mad at Emma, not really and he had apologized to her, she was still his mother and he loved her, but he had missed Regina and needed and wanted her. He also said that once Regina was better he'd like to divide his time between his mothers.

Emma wasn't precisely happy, but considering how bad she had messed up over the past few weeks, she hadn't put up much of a fight. Upon realizing that saving Marian had been for naught and caused nothing but pain and misery, Emma had spent days crying in Killian's arms and guilt ate her up. And then she had lost Henry and finally understood how Regina had felt. Right now she was willing to accept anything Henry was willing to give her. She had told Henry that she needed to go back to New York to get their stuff, cancel their newspaper and terminate their apartment. She had asked him if he wanted to tag along and say goodbye to his friends.

At first Henry had been torn. His mum still wasn't well and he didn't want to leave her alone, but he had lots of friends in New York and even if he'd never chose them over his family, he still wanted to see them and say goodbye in person. So he agreed, and he had to tell his mum until the evening, because Emma would pick him up and they would leave for a few days. Maybe he should wait till after lunch with Robin and Roland, surely his mother would feel better then.

Regina looked at her reflexion, self-conscious she smoothed down her shirt. Her attire wasn't something she'd usually wear, casual jeans and a deep red shirt accompanied by flats. She supposed her usual costumes were not appropriate for training. But the flats made her very uncomfortable, she wasn't very tall anyway and without her high-heels he'd be towering over her even more. The thought didn't sit well with her.

R&R

"Papa, come on! We are late!" Roland tugged Robin by his sleeve and his father laughed.

"You wanted to bring Regina flowers," Robin reminded him and handed him the flowers back. The bouquet was so big it almost covered the five-year old completely. Mostly that was because most of his Merry Men couldn't resist Roland's doe-eyes and so they had spent the morning picking flowers for the Queen.

"Papa, will Regina like the flowers?" Roland asked nervously, he had to use both his hands to hold the flowers.

Robin assured him that Regina would absolutely love the flowers, particularly because he had handpicked them.

Inside Regina took a few deep breaths, without her usual attire and with her hair up in a short pony-tail, she felt oddly exposed - which was ridiculous because he'd seen her in much less but she'd rather not go down that road. She opted for a polite smile when she opened the door.

Robin smirked happily at her and she had to fight the impulse to throw her arms around his neck. The impulse that she couldn't supress was the smile that light up her face when she caught sight of Roland's bright grin and the huge bouquet he was holding out to her.

"Oh, are those for me?" she kneeled down and took the heavy flowers from his little arms. "Did you pick them yourself?" she asked with big eyes.

His locks bounced as he nodded, "But Papa and the Merry Men helped as well," he admitted.

Robin didn't like how insecure and deeply astounded Regina looked up and met his eyes. As if she couldn't believe someone would to something like this for her. And he opened his mouth to tell her he'd do anything for her, but the words wouldn't come and his head was empty once again. How come he wasn't able to find the right words with her anymore?

Silent and rubbing the already sore spot on his chest Robin followed his son and Regina into the house.

"Henry told me you two want to build a tree house…" Robin heard Regina say to his son. But her words were mostly background noise, hungrily his eyes racked over her figure. He never seen her in jeans and a plain shirt and she looked absolutely stunning. Good enough to eat certainly. Her neck was exposed and the view sent shivers all over his body.

_Robin put more wood on the fire. His thoughts wandered back a few hours and anger coiled in his belly. He lost her heart – her actual heart. And he lost it; or rather he let it be stolen. She trusted him with it and he failed her. And then she had come and asked if everyone was alright and that it wasn't a good sign she was still alive. Well, it was a good sign for him. _

_And the fear he had felt at her words, was in no way appropriate considering their acquaintance, but when he thought about her falling to the floor, her form lifeless and pale, his heart constricted painfully. Ever since her heart had been stolen, his own beat rapidly against his ribs. And he didn't even understand why it meant that much to him. Sure Regina was attractive… or rather downright gorgeous, sexy, mysterious, challenging and a thousand other things, that drove him out of his mind, and robbed him of his sleep. He didn't even know her, not really, but when he saw her or when his thoughts wandered to her his heart skipped a beat and he had to smile. Twice his men asked him today why he looked so happy or why he looked to miserable. Thinking about her made him happy, thinking about losing her heart made him miserable. _

_Grimly he put two more pieces of wood on the fire. Her heart wasn't here any longer but he still felt obliged to stay. His head snapped up as he heard steps and he stood. Regina strode through the trees purposefully and he felt dizzy. Was there a day she didn't look absolutely stunning? She stopped in front of him and Robin almost believed there was some kind of insecurity in her eyes._

_He couldn't stop himself from promising that he'd get her heart back. If he had to face the green witch then that was what he was going to do. But he was going to get it back. _

_He was taken by surprise when she grabbed him by the collar of his jacket and pulled him into a hard kiss. It took him a few seconds to respond, clearly solely based on the fact that he was too stunned to catch on all that quickly. His belly clenched and then she let go of him. He saw the uncertainty in her amazingly expressive eyes and he wanted nothing more than to wipe that away. He could not let her go. He reached for her with almost desperate desire and this time it was he, who pulled her into a bruising kiss. Heat shot through him and he couldn't remember ever feeling as intensely as he did now. The coldness of the night was forgotten in the heat of their kiss and Robin cursed his gloves that kept him from experiencing the softness of her hair and the smoothness of her skin. He all but ripped them from his fingers, didn't even realise when her back hit a trunk. Not that Regina was complaining. Her own gloves had gotten lost somewhere along the way. Robin groaned when her fingers brushed over his collar bone. Apparently his green scarf had also been disregarded; probably near the same place she had lost her coat. His fingers worked the buttons of her coat, his lips hot against her throat and her hands scratched down his naked back under his shirt. He pressed harder against her, picked her up and her long, perfectly shaped legs wrapped around his torso. The sensation was unbelievable. Robin couldn't remember being that aroused in his entire life. She gasped when his calloused hands grabbed her waist and pulled her against him hard. Finally her blouse was open, a few buttons were lost in the fight, but Robin could safely say that he didn't care in the slightest. _

"_Wait," it sounded like the breath was stolen from her mouth. Robin hummed against the skin of her sternum. His senses consumed by her._

_Unwillingly he detached his lips from her when he felt her hands push against him softly, "Robin, wait."_

"_What?"_

_Regina almost laughed at his annoyed, pouty tone._

_She detangled herself from him and he took a reluctant and unwilling step back. He couldn't explain what gotten over him. Usually he wasn't that aggressive, he was very respectful towards women, but he had never wanted someone as much as he wanted Regina._

"_I'm sorry, I don't know what came over…"_

_Regina took his hand and he was distracted by the spark it ignited._

"_You don't have to apologise. It was… I wanted…," Regina took a deep breath and looked at him with the same insecurity from before. "Maybe we could try that again… but maybe slower."_

_Relief flooded him and he laughed quietly, "I don't think I would be able to accept anything less."_

_She bit her lips and nodded and it made her seem so young and innocent, it took Robin's breath away. _

_Regina started to pick up her jacket and gloves after she buttoned up her blouse, she gave him a very pointed stare and the missing buttons and he grinned back smugly. And the Regina made her way back. _

_Not even ten steps later and turned around slightly agitated, "What do you think you're doing?"_

"_What does it look like? I'll bring you home," he grinned and his dimples showed. _

"_I do believe I am able to find my way, thank you very much."_

"_Ah, but Milady I cannot let you do that. It's not my style to simply allow a woman to walk home alone after snogging her senseless."_

"_How very honourable of you, but I assure you my senses are perfectly fine. I am the Evil Queen remember? No need to protect me."_

"_Your lovely sister, remember?" he retorted smirking and somehow this bickering seemed faintly familiar. _

"_Fine, but if you think I'll ask you in, you have another thing coming."_

_Robin smirked and rested his hand on the small of her back, "I wouldn't dream of it."_

_From the corner of her eyes she caught sight of his grin and it made her stomach flutter._

Robin missed her so much; it was pathetic how much it meant to him that she even looked his way. His determination grew as he watched Roland explain to her all the advantages of living in a tree house.

R&R

* * *

**Tell me what you think!**


	13. What makes a family

**at Casey: Thank you very much. Yes, I guess Snow is a little naive at some things. On the other hand I think Snow's also very much aware of the situation, considering her time on the run. **

**at shikasgirl10: Thanks. Really, they had to. Who can resist Roland, anyway?**

**at TheRebirhtofPain: The Merry Men already do and they keep it a secret, because they promised. Yes, it's quite unfair, but that's life :) About Regina and Gold questioning her loss of magic. They already have and came to the conclusion it's simply the price for time traven (and in a way it was). **

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed.**

**I don't own anything.**

* * *

**What makes a family**

Storybrooke – Present time

"What can I do?" Roland looked up at her with big brown eyes.

Regina tapped her index finger on her chin and pretended to think very deeply. "How about you go get Henry from his room and then we will start to cut the vegetables?"

Roland made a face at the mentioning at vegetables, "Do I have to eat the green stuff too?"

Regina looked at him with fake heartbreak, "Don't you like my cooking?"

Horrified Roland hurried to explain, "Nuhu, I like your food, R'gina. I will eat it, I promise and the Merry Men always keep their promises."

"And I promise you, that the vegetables will be tasty. You are helping, so how could it not?" Regina smiled and set him down.

Roland stormed upstairs to fulfil his first task, leaving two grinning adults staring after him.

Robin turned to Regina and imitated his son, "What can I do?"

He watched with agony in his chest how her posture shifted to defence and became guarded. She was shutting him out and he moved closer to her out of instinct and his hand reached for her.

Naturally Regina took a step back immediately and his hand dropped like he got burned. Regina tried her best to avoid his parching look full of pain and confusion.

"Regina…" he looked at her with a hopeless look in his eyes.

"Robin, let it go, please."

And he did. She had called him Robin again and that was something at least. Robin propped his hips against the counter and crossed his arms over his chest, it appeared for now he simply had to watch her.

Robin's presence discomfited her and Regina turned his back to him and started pulling the ingredients from the cupboard and the fridge. Not too long ago his gaze would have sent hot chills up and down her spine (but then he wouldn't have been standing all the way over at the counter, he would have been pressed against her back and bestowed hot kisses on her neck) but right now she felt like she was suffocating. Either that or she'd do something terribly stupid, like kiss him for example.

His eyes roamed over her body and his anger rose with every proof he found that showed how she was starving herself and how thin and emaciated her body was.

"Regina, you need to eat something," he remarked and had difficulties keeping his temper in check.

"I'm afraid you confuse the order. In order to eat one must cook first," Regina said stiffly.

"I mean it, Regina!" anger coloured his tone this time and he stepped behind her. He made sure however not to touch her because he wasn't about to give her a reason to throw him out or rethink their training arrangement. Her breathing faltered when his warmth surrounded her and the puff of his breath made the tiny hairs on her back straighten up and the shiver went over her whole body.

"You need to eat more, if not you won't last two minutes when we start training."

She stopped her movement and gave a curt nod. Robin stepped back only when he heard the children on the stairs and Regina didn't know whether to be relieved or disappointed.

He watched every bite she took like a hawk. It was easier to find her appetite than it had been before, she felt better. Regina had to admit it was most likely because the scene felt almost domestic. She all but shoved her plate to the side when it occurred to her that they could have been her family if reality hadn't hit her in the face with brutal force. She flinched when Robin grabbed her plate and put it down before her again pointedly.

"Either you eat it or I will feed you. Your choice," he whispered heatedly, making sure the boys didn't hear him.

Regina was about to protest but the look in his blue eyes told her plainly that he was dead serious. She took the fork and stabbed into her food unwillingly. She managed to choke down a few more bites but then her stomach rebelled, it needed to get used to food again. This time Robin didn't object when Regina put the fork down, despite the fact that he would have preferred if she'd continued eating.

R&R

"Again!" Robin extended his hand to Regina to help her up. Regina preferred getting up by herself and so his hand hung uselessly in the air.

After they had finished lunch, the children had gone outside to plan their tree house, leaving Robin and Regina to start their lessons. They had gone into the basement, since Regina was still determined to keep Henry and everyone else for that matter, from finding out about her loss of magic.

Robin was proven right as Regina was barely able to stand anymore and she got more and more frustrated because she wasn't able to prevail against him at all. Her body had diminished and she was quickly gasping for air.

"We'll start with hand to hand combat. Later we can take on weapons, but you don't always carry around something like that with you, so we'll start with basic self-defence techniques. You land one good hit and then you run!" Robin had said. Up until now she hadn't been very successful at it.

Robin took it step by step and went thought one scenario at a time. Once he'd be back in the camp he'd assign a few of his men to keep an eye on Regina. He didn't like how she wasn't able to defend herself without her magic yet.

She picked herself up and Robin was about to tell her it was enough for today, Regina was pale and shook like a leave. For someone who acted so tough all the time, it was astonishing how much she depended on her magical powers. Robin had opened his mouth to suggest a break, but the poisonous look she threw him, challenged him to even try and call her weak. Robin closed his mouth again and supressed a sight. Did she have to be so stubborn all the time?

The garden door opened and two pairs of tripling feet alerted them to the presence of their sons. Regina stepped back and smoothed down her clothes. They climbed up the stairs and meet their respective sons in the living room, where they had been looking for them.

"R'gina!" Roland reached her first and lifted him off the ground. "Can we really build the tree house? The Merry Men will help."

Regina nodded with a smile, "Of course you can."

Roland answered with cheers and clapped his hands, his eyes gleamed.

Henry looked at the clock, he got nervous. Emma would be here any minute now and he hadn't talked to his mum yet. He had wanted to explain to her why he needed to go back and that he was going to come back right after. Regina looked a lot better today and Roland and Robin would be back tomorrow, so he thought it was safe to leave her alone for just a few days.

"R'gina, can we play something? Papa had you the whole day," Roland complained and Regina laughed at his pout.

"Of course Roland, I'd like that," her smile widened and Robin's heart lightened at the sight.

Henry leaped from his spot nervously and ran to the door, right after the bell rang. Regina frowned, she let Roland down and all three of them followed Henry to the door.

"Miss Swan," Regina greeted the blonde indifferently, "Captain Jones."

The pirate who hemmed and hawed behind Emma's back, nodded to the Queen in acknowledgement.

"How may I help you," Regina asked.

Henry looked at her with guilty eyes and Regina's heart stopped. Did Emma come to take Henry back? Did he want to leave? Why didn't he talk to her, if he wanted to go? She barely realised Robin stepping next to her, but she felt the warmth of his hands at her back sipping through the fabric. And she leaned into him by instinct – soaking in the comfort he was offering.

"Mum," Henry approached her and took her hand. "Emma wanted to pick up our stuff from New York and I…"

"You want to go with her?" Regina's voice shook and Robin stroked over her lower back with his thumb.

"We'll be back in a few days, I promise! It's just that I have friends there and I never said goodbye and…"

Regina pressed her lips together tightly but nodded. Robin's warm hand steadied her, gave her security and Regina was able to breathe.

"I'll call every day and mum and I are going to be back in a week at the latest!" Henry promised. "But I can stay."

Regina shook her head. A few days ago she had been willing to give Henry up because she wanted nothing more than his happiness, she would most certainly not keep him from saying goodbye to his friends. She was an adult and more importantly his mother.

"Have you packed a bag?" Regina asked.

Henry looked flustered and negated. Emma sighed loudly behind them.

Sheepishly Henry turned, "Sorry, mum." He raced up the stairs, taking two steps at once. He almost knocked Roland over who had watched with big eyes. Then his face adopted a quizzical expression and he wadded behind Henry. Four adults stayed back in uncomfortable tension.

Regina made no move to step away from Robin's hand and the man was afraid to breathe in case she realised and did step away from him. The mayor looked at Emma for a few long minutes. She had behaved like a child for the past weeks and she was done with it. Robin's hand on her back had absolutely nothing to do with her renewed strengths, she told herself.

"Miss Swan, I expect you to be punctual once we resume training when you're back," Regina remarked. Her magic powers might be gone, but she was still able to share her knowledge. If Emma was able to control her powers she'd be able to protect Henry; therefore it was important to Regina.

Round-eyed Emma asked, "Are you serious?"

"Unless you have found a better teacher," Regina raised an eyebrow.

"No! I mean, I'd like to start with the lessons again," Emma smiled brightly and Regina gave her a curt nod.

"Would you like to wait inside?" Regina stepped aside politely and moved away from Robin's hand elegantly and without attracting attention. His eyes burned into her and Regina ignored him.

Upstairs Henry was throwing clothes and shoes in his bag haphazardly while Roland eyed his room wide-eyed.

"Is all of this yours?" he asked the elder boy.

"Yeah, that's my room," Henry told him absentmindedly.

Roland looked around in amazement and climbed on the big bed. He bounced a little, "This is soft!"

"Yep, it's pretty comfy," Henry grinned.

He snatched another pair of socks and stuffed it in his bag.

"Henry?"

Something in Roland's tone made Henry stop and turn to the younger one. He sounded somewhat confused.

"This other woman… Why did you call her mama?"

"Emma? Because she's my mother," Henry said.

"But R'gina is your mama," the little boy looked up, his face all scrunched up from the thinking.

Henry said down on the bed next to Roland, "Emma is my mama, who gave birth to me, but she couldn't take care of me, because she was in a bad place. And Regina took me and raised me and became my mama."

He tried to explain it a simple as he could.

"You have two mamas?" Roland asked after a few heartbeats.

" Yes, Emma and I share the same blood, but Regina took care of me. She's my mama too," Henry didn't know how to make it easier; his family situation was quite complicated.

Roland nodded, but still appeared to have trouble grasping the situation.

"Are you going away?" he asked pointing to the bag.

"Emma and I lived in New York for the last year and now we are back, but all our stuff is still there so we have to get it. It will take a few days to get everything organized but not more than a week," Henry held up his fingers. "In that many days we'll be back."

Roland looked relieved and hugged Henry, "I like you."

Henry was touched, "I like you too, Roland."

R&R

Regina's heart was heavy as she watched the yellow Beetle drive away. She felt like drowning and the irrational fear of never seeing her son again rose in her.

A slight tug on her sleeve made her look down.

"Don't be sad, R'gina," Roland held up his fingers, "in this many days Henry will be here."

He grinned proudly at getting it right, and Regina smiled back.

She was about to close the door, when Roland protested vigorously. He went over to his father and pulled him to the door by his sleeve.

"Papa has to go. You have all the alone-time with R'gina today. Now I get to."

Robin's jaw dropped in disbelief. His son was seriously throwing him out of Regina's house!

Regina laughed loudly and Robin's head jolted up. He'd allow his son to throw him out a thousand times, if it meant she'd laugh like that.

Roland pushed him by his leg.

"Regina!" Robin protested, his eyes filled with mirth. Regina grinned as she stepped to the door.

"Well, well it would appear we have figured out who the alpha is around here. I'll bring Roland to you later," she threw the door shut and heard his loud laugh even through the closed door.

"Alright Roland, what would you like to do?"

"Ludo!" Roland cheered.

It took five rounds for Roland to give into his urge to yawn.

"I think it's time for you to go home, young man," Regina decided.

Roland nodded solemnly with an almost sad look in his eyes. Regina crouched down before his chair.

"Roland, what's wrong?"

"I want my own room too, where everything is mine."

Regina was speechless, "I thought you liked living in the woods and camping." Roland didn't know anything else and Regina was surprised he wanted it.

The heart-breaking look in his eyes made her say something reckless, "You know, I have a lot of rooms here and no one needs them. You can pick one and that'll be your room," then she thought that maybe Robin wouldn't be pleased with this. "But we'll need to ask your papa for permission."

Roland shouted in approval and fell around her neck, "Thank you, R'gina. Can I come back tomorrow?"

"Of course you can. You can come whenever you want. But you'll need to ask your papa first and someone has to go along with you. How about I'll show you how to make apple pie tomorrow?"

Roland nodded against her shoulder and Regina frowned. She had expected more eagerness.

"Roland, is everything alright?"

"Can't you be my mama?" his voice was small and nervous.

Regina froze, her head was empty and her heart beat rapidly in her chest. Her mouth was dry and she was struggled for words.

"Roland…" she angled her upper body back and supported Roland on her hip. She used her thumb to wipe away a few stray tears from his face. "Do you remember how you mama was here? You met her in the diner."

Roland tilted his head to the side and shook his head a few second later. Of course the boy couldn't remember, he was only five and met his mother for five minutes. Regina still didn't understand why the Merry Men brought Roland to the hospital to her instead of giving mother and son some time together or why Marian hadn't asked for Robin and her son. She hadn't thought much of it, didn't care really, but now she had to wonder.

"Roland, listen to me. Your mama was a great woman and she and your papa loved each other very, very much. And your mama loved you very much as well."

"And you don't love me?"

Regina's heart clenched, "Of course I love you, Roland."

"Like a mama?"

What was she supposed to say to that?

"Yes, honey, but listen. You have a great mama and there isn't anything she'd rather do than be with you, but she can't," Regina explained helplessly, her heart was breaking in her chest. There was nothing she'd love more than being his mother.

"That's not fair," the little one murmured. "Henry gets to have two mamas. I want you to be my other mama."

"Darling…" she hugged Roland tightly. "Your papa loves your mama very much, and he doesn't want you to forget her." _Especially because you can't call the woman your mother, who took your real one from you._

"You don't want to be my mama?"

The question was enough to bring tears to her eyes and it spilled before she could stop it.

"Roland, I… your papa… Listen, I will always be there for you and love you and I will always protect you. It doesn't matter whether you call me mama or Regina, alright?"

Roland nodded, but didn't look at her and Regina hugged him tighter again.

R&R

When Regina had carried Roland to the camp Robin initially thought that maybe his subdued mood and his red eyes were from fatigue but when Roland was still unusually passive the next morning, it was a whole other question indeed. And after Robin had told him they'd visit Regina again today, Roland's mood hadn't lifted very much either, so Robin knew something must have occurred. He sat down on a stub, Roland on his lap.

"Roland? Did something happen at Regina's after I left?" he asked carefully and Roland snuggled into his chest.

"Papa…" his voice was small. "Can R'gina be my mama? Because I asked her."

Robin blinked a few times. He tried to get to terms with all the emotions struggling within him. On one hand, there was this part of him which was still reproaching him because of Marian. Regina had been the one to rob them of their time together and there was a part of him that refused to replace her. On the other hand, there was a much stronger part of him that was happy, Regina was supposed to become a part of his family, he loved her, had forgiven her and he wanted her.

Then there was his son. His son wanted and needed a mother. He would always put his son first and Roland didn't remember his mother, not even after meeting her, yet Robin knew that he'd always make sure Roland remembered Marian.

He looked at his son, whose eyes were filled with hope. He wanted Regina and it wasn't a surprise that Roland loved her. She loved him too and she was absolutely wonderful with him.

"What did Regina say?"

"That my mama loved me very much and that you do not like me to forget her. But papa, I won't! Henry has two mamas and I want too!" Roland looked defiantly.

"I'll talk to Regina and tell her, that you may have two mamas. Is that ok, with you?" Robin wasn't a fool, if Roland asked Regina a few weeks ago, she'd have been delighted. Marian's appearance had changed everything.

"Really?" Roland asked beaming and it warmed Robin's heart seeing his beloved son that happy.

"Of course my son! I'm a Merry Men and we always keep our word."

"Can we go now? Papa please!"

"Didn't you want to ask the Merry Men because of the tree house?" Robin distracted him. It was only half past eight and as much as he'd like to see Regina (really he would have wanted to stay the night and hold her and… maybe it was better not to go there). She was all alone in her big house and he didn't like it one bit, but really he knew Regina wouldn't have let him anyway. Well, she would if Roland was with him.

When they finally did make their way to Regina's two hours later, it wasn't just the two of them, they also had half of the Merry Men in tow. Accordingly one could picture Regina's expression when she opened the door.

Robin looked up sheepishly, "Well,…" he bit his lip. "You see, Roland wants to surprise Henry with the completed tree house and..."

"And we've heard the mayor was the best cook in town," John tossed in from the side.

"Besides, Roland kept talking about how there was going to be cake," Samuel added and grinned cheekily.

And before Regina was able to utter a single word, the men had already conquered the house. Leader to the victory being Roland, who bestowed a quick hug to her, and rode onwards on John's shoulders.

She hadn't even closed her mouth yet when Robin, grinning just as bright, his blue eyes sparkling, asked, "So are we going to cook now or do we start with training?"

R&R

"Regina?"

After Regina had fed the Merry Men, she and Robin had started their lessons. It was not for an hour later that they were on their first break. Robin had worked up the courage to talk about Roland and they were sitting on the porch.

"Roland came to me this morning. He was devastated. Why don't you want him to call you his mother?" Robin cursed himself. That came out less sensitive than he had hoped. He literally felt her walls go up and Regina retreated from him. She even went was far as to build physical barriers between them, she wrapped her arms around her upper body and rubbed up and down her arms.

"Regina, please don't misunderstand. I just want to know what happened," he added softly.

"I took care of it, so you don't have to worry," she let her gaze drop to the ground. "I have no intention to take Marian's place."

"Regina," he couldn't stop his hand from falling to her knee. Robin yawned for her touch, needed her proximity and it hurt when she flinched at the touch, but she shake his hand off. "Roland loves you very much. And if you really think, I have objections, your wrong. I know you love him like he's your son and he needs a mother."

"You've managed well up until now. Roland's a great boy."

Robin smirked happily, "I don't believe my ears. Is it possible that that was a compliment from the Queen herself?" he joked.

"But seriously, Regina, Marian will always be Roland's mother and he won't forget about it. But he loves you and I'd be happy if... Regina, you know what I feel for you. Why are you making this so hard? I want you to be part of my family and…"

He didn't get any further, Regina stood up abruptly.

"Stop it!" her voice was rough. "Stop saying that. I ripped your family apart; I killed your wife, your son's mother. I am a monster and you should keep your son as far away from me as humanly possible."

Furious he leaped up, "No, you're the one who should stop. I get that you feel guilty, but I never want to hear you say something like this again. You are not a monster! I love you and Roland loves you. Yes you've done terrible things, and yes the Evil Queen killed Marian. But you are not her, not anymore, not for me and not for Roland."

Regina staggered a few steps back, "I think it's better we don't see each other anymore at all."

Robin laughed humourlessly, "Yeah, you can forget that. You don't want a relationship with me? Fine! But that doesn't mean I'm giving up on us or that I'm about to leave you alone. I…"

Whatever he was about to say was interrupted by the slamming of the front door.

"R'gina! You have to come. We made a plan of the tree house," Roland pulled at her hand and Regina didn't resist. She let the boy drag her into the house.

Once they reached the kitchen table Roland demanded to get up and Regina scooped him into her arms. Most of the Merry Men had gathered around as well.

"See, see there's where the tower will be. See? See?"

The Merry Men as well as Regina had to grin at his enthusiasm.

"Yes, Roland, I see it. It looks very good," Regina praised. "Was that all your idea?"

"Nuhu. Arthur helped."

"Surely he only helped a little," Regina replied, but she had to admit that the plans looked very impressive. If Arthur had been part of the first curse he most likely would have been an architect.

"R'gina?"

"What is it, Roland?"

"Did papa talk to you? He sayed he would."

Regina swallowed hard, she knew what Roland was talking about. Nervously she looked around. The men looked more curious than anything but she didn't find a single one looking at her with hostility, and she frowned.

"Can you be my mama now?"

She met Little John's face and where she expected disgust, anger or hatred in his gaze, she found cheekiness and even fondness (tough that was for Roland). Regina didn't understand in the slightest. She didn't find condemnation no matter where she looked. A lump formed in her throat.

Robin leaned in the doorframe and Regina's eyes met his. He raised an eyebrow and while he still was angry, the gaze he gave her was enough to take her breath away. It was filled to the brim with love.

"I…" Regina turned back to Roland and cleared her throat. "I'd like to be your mama very much."

Roland cheered and gave her a loud smooch on her cheek, "Papa, R'gina is my mama now!"

"So I've heard, my boy!" Robin approached them and tousled Roland's brown locks.

R&R

* * *

**Tell me what you think!**


	14. Dark Hearts

**at shikasgirl10: Thanks. It's the dimples :)**

**at theEvilPanda: Thanks a lot. I'm trying my best with the updating pace.**

**at Casy: Thanks. I know it must be quite unsatisfying to leave the truth unrevealed, however I did that on purpose. I wanted to empahises that it isn't necessary to demonise Marian to resolve OQ. Robin would always pick her and they would always find each other.  
**

**at beautifuldroplet: Your wish is my command :)**

**at jcat30: Yes, she knows. Everyone does. I know, but hopefully I could explain her reaction a little with this one, and make it up to you :)**

**at Thornspike: Thanks, I know Roland is absolutely cute.**

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed.**

**I don't own anything.**

* * *

**Dark Hearts  
**

"Mum!" Henry slammed the front door open. "We're back!"

"Henry, please!" Emma followed, holding his bag. "It's not even seven a.m. yet. She's still asleep, plus it's the weekend. Go upstairs and unpack. I'll wait in the kitchen."

Emma planned to talk to Regina about their lesson, so she'd decided to wait for her to wake up. She had dropped Kilian off at his place, they'd met up for lunch later. The blonde grinned, who would have thought she'd end up with Captain Hook. A snort escaped her, timed perfectly with a yawn and the sound was a little less than lady-like. Shrugging Emma fired up the coffee machine. Surely Regina could use some as well. Emma doubted she'd get much more sleep with Henry trampling around.

"Good morning!"

Emma twirled around and her jaw dropped. Maybe there was another reason Regina wasn't getting enough sleep or why else was there a half-naked man in her kitchen? Emma was pretty sure he was one of Robin's Merry Men or at least she was sure she had seen him somewhere before, but his naked chest proved to be too much of a distraction for her to think. Her brain was just too tired to process the situation. If Emma had found Robin in only his trousers in the middle of Regina's kitchen she wouldn't have been as surprised but that was not him.

It occurred to her that she had been staring for quite some time. "Mo- Morning," she barely managed to push the words past her lips.

He gave her a cheeky smirk and held a mug out to her. With her jaw still on the floor Emma poured him some coffee. She didn't know where he came from but he left through the kitchen door leading to the garden.

"Ah, good morning, Sheriff!"

Emma twirled again. She didn't even digest the first shock, there was the next half-naked men waiting for her.

She knew this one. Definitely one of Robin's men, definitely only with a towel around his waist. Evidently he just took a shower, his hair was still damp.

"Samuel… G-good Morning," her voice was unusually squeaky.

"Ah, you've made coffee," another mug was dangled in front of her expectantly and she poured him a cup in a trance-like state.

"Miss Swan?"

Thank god, it wasn't another naked man.

"Regina! I'm gone for a week and you go and built yourself a harem!?"

The Queen rolled her eyes. "This just sort of… happened." She couldn't explain how precisely it happened herself. It all started with a few innocent tents in her garden. Roland insisted on finishing the tree house before Henry came back "to surprise him". And who could resists his dimpled smile?

And so the men hammered and serrated every day through. And of course Regina felt obligated to give them food and invite them in to shower. In the end it was simply easier if they didn't have to go back and forth between the camp and her house. And before she knew what was happening the whole camp had billeted on her garden. And somehow they also used her house.

Sometimes Regina missed the time when she was the Evil Queen, no one had ever dared to do something like that. But in reality she had let it happened because her house was filled with laughter and life, because she had been lonely before and afraid. Now she felt safe and secure. Roland spent every night in his newly established room and Robin… Well, Robin had nothing to do with it.

Truthfully spoken Regina's resolve to keep Robin out of her life got weaker every day. She loved him, missed him so bad and according to him he felt the same. Only Regina was afraid, terrified of letting herself be vulnerable again. She was afraid he'd wake up one day realising who she really was, what she had done and leave her. She couldn't let herself fall, not again.

"What are you still doing here?" she asked Emma with a raised brow and Emma held her hands up in defence.

"I was wondering because of the lessons…"

"Tonight at eight in front of my vault. Be punctual."

Emma wanted to finish her coffee, but Regina's look told her that she was unwelcome.

"Mama!" Roland whirled in in his customary good mood. "Henry is already here! We didn't finish the tree house!"

Technically that wasn't true. The originally planned tree house was indeed finished, but by then the Merry Men had discovered the wonders of modern technology and they reached the point of no return when they had been introduced to the chain aw. The tree house kept getting bigger and bigger. Regina wouldn't be surprise if they spread it all over town.

There had been a few scuffles about who got to use the chainsaw next, but after Regina told them that it wouldn't suddenly stop running (they had been convinced it was magic) they found a rhythm. Regina had to supress her grin when she thought back to the time they had first used a vacuum in her presence. Something she never had to do since then. The house was vacuumed more often than ever. Sometimes Regina heard it running twice a day, but she didn't dare comment. Sooner or later they'd stopped being fascinated by how it just sucked dust and dirt in and she'd have to do it herself again.

"It doesn't matter, darling. I'm sure Henry will love to help," she took Roland in her arms. "How about pancakes for breakfast?"

"Yay!"

"Pancakes?" at least four other fellas from Robin's troop stormed through the kitchen door.

"Give me ten minutes, will you?" Regina rolled her eyes. She turned and met Emma's huge hungry eyes. Thinking about pancakes made the blonde's stomach growl.

"Oh, whatever, fine with me, Miss Swan. But I do hope you can behave yourself," Regina hissed and turned back to the men. "You can go set the table… and you'll also clean up!"

"Mum!" Henry whirled in behind the men and hugged his mother. How he got into the garden, Emma didn't know, she had yet to see the wooden slide going from Henry's room directly into one of the tree house rooms, the so called 'cushion room'.

"Mum!" he turned to Emma as well. "Did you see the tree house? It's like a castle, it has slides and bridges and towers and all that stuff."

Regina smiled and ruffled his hair, "I've missed you."

"I've missed you too," he kissed her on her cheek.

"I've missed you too!" Roland chimed in, not one to be forgotten.

"Ah, I've missed you two Roland!" Henry grinned.

"Do I smell pancakes?" five minutes later the leader of the Merry Men entered the kitchen. He looked around and grimaced, "Samuel, please put some clothes on."

Said man gave a sheepish smile and squeezed past Robin. "Every bloody morning!" Robin complained.

A few minutes later they were sitting around the table… well sitting or squashing around the table.

"What is this? Kindergarten?" Emma whined as she tried to shield her pancakes from hungry mouths.

Regina gave her a withering look that clearly said the Queen in no way thought Emma was any different from the 'children'.

Robin grinned as Regina hit Arthur's finger with a spoon and Arthur grimaced in pain. Regina took the last pancake he was about to get and gave it to Henry, the boy stuck out his tongue to Arthur. Robin chuckled and focused on Regina.

She looked better than she had a week ago. She ate regularly again and while her weight was not yet back completely her curves filled in much better. Robin swallowed dryly, it was better not to let his thoughts stray down that road. The last week had been both boon and bane, he wouldn't be able to endure it much longer.

Seeing her every day, spending every minute close to her, having his son call her mama it was slowly killing him. She cooked for them and he taught her how to defend herself. And it killed him because despite being close to her, he wasn't able to reach for her whenever he wanted, wasn't able to draw her into his arms or stroke over her cheek, play with her hair or kiss her. He missed her and yet she was right there, still out of reach. It was getting harder and harder to hold back, especially during their training.

It was torture but he loved every minute of it, because it was the only time during the day in which he got to touch her. Her skin on his fingertips, her body, her smell it made his fingers itch. He loved her so much and he was nearing the end of the line rapidly.

R&R

"Let's try one more time!" Robin held his hand out like always and Regina ignored it like always.

He came at her from behind again, drew her in and… his breath came short when she hit her elbow into his side, her feet hooked around him and Robin found himself staring at the ceiling.

"I did it!" Regina blinked in surprise.

"Indeed you did!" Robin groaned. He was smiling as well. She made him fall and even managed to get him under control, though she shouldn't try that. He had told her to run, but typically Regina she was not listening.

Her face was close to his, she was sitting on his torso, her hands pressing down his own by his head. Robin's heart picked up a pace and he felt her's beating through his chest.

"Regina…" his voice was nothing but a hoarse whisper.

She looked down at him and her grip on him slacked, Robin didn't think. He flipped them over and his lips covered hers hungrily. Her fingers grabbed him by the collar, pulling him even closer, his hands ran up and down her body and she groaned into his mouth. Fire shot through him and he couldn't hold back, the kiss got harder and his fingers left traces on her skin.

Her head was spinning and she couldn't think clearly. For the first time in forever she felt save and warm, comforted and happy, but she needed more. She had missed Robin so bad, sometimes she felt like she couldn't breathe.

His lips left her and trailed hot wet kisses down her throat. Next thing he knew he was being shoved aside. Regina leaped up, her breathing laboured, her body and soul rebelling, but her fear so overwhelming she couldn't fight it. She pressed her lips together hard (tried not to think of how they tasted of him) and kept the tears at bay.

"Regina…" Robin hated the guarded look with which she regarded him.

The basement was cold, silent. Not even the noise of the Merry Men could reach them with the door closed. Heavy cold silence reigned the room.

"Don't you think it's enough?" Robin asked finally.

"What are you talking about?"

"Us."

Regina straightened herself up to her full size, despite it not being very impressive, her eyes hardened. But Robin saw it, saw the pain and the fear before ice covered them.

"There is no us!"

He could make her happy, if only she'd let him. He wanted to make her happy, was willing to do anything for it. And Robin had enough, her denial of them was the last straw.

"Stop this nonsense, I've had enough. There is no reason for us not to be together. I don't know what's wrong with you. I love you!"

"Get it in your head," Regina called at him. "We were nothing but a short affair. I…"

"Don't make me laugh, Regina."

"You want a reason? Fine, I can give you fifty!" she screamed. She was so sick and tired of having to repeat herself over and over again. He finally needed to understand what kind of person she was. "I am a monster. I killed hundreds of people, used and abused them, manipulated them and ripped their hearts out and crushed it before them. I killed my own father and I killed ! The mother of your son! And I can't even remember her face. And you?" she laughed bitterly. "You are a goddamn Hero! Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves, who steals from the rich to give to the poor."

He had been patient for a long time, but now his frustration and anger went off the scale. If she wanted it the hard way then fine he'd force her to be happy. Clearly she thought wailing in misery was her punishment for all the bad things she had done, well he wasn't willing to just allow her that. He loved her and he knew she loved him back, he could make her happy and he'd be damned if he didn't.

"A hero?" he asked her darkly and his blue eyes flashed dangerously. "So you believe all those countless stories about the great Robin Hood they have in this world? You should know best that those stories are rubbish! I am a lot of things, but I wouldn't see myself as a hero. You want to know who I am? Fine! You think I'm all that good and my past is filled with singing white rabbits? Bollocks. I didn't always steal from the rich to give to the poor. At first I was simply a blind soldier following my king's orders. I never questioned them.

You're not the only one here who tortured and killed. Sure I've did it because I had order, but does that make it better? And I didn't leave the army because my consciousness rebelled against all the things I had to do, but because Prince John and I had a rather heated dispute that ended with him lying on the floor nurturing a bloody nose. After that I had to decide, either I accepted my sentence like a good honourable soldier or I left honour, pride and duty behind me and became an outlaw. I didn't become a thief out of nobility or principle, but rather because I wanted to take revenge on Prince John and therefore I raided his villages and carriages. And I didn't care who got hurt. Sure I never forced myself on a woman myself, but some of the men that followed me in those first years did. And I didn't give a fuck.

It took me years to see where my path lead me. I met Little John and Friar Tuck and realised the errors of my way. Only then I started to care what my men did and I started to give to those who needed it more than we did," he was close now, his loud voice echoed through the room.

"What do you want from me, Regina? You want to hear I would have picked you over Marian? Would that make you happy? Then be bloody happy! Those two days I spent next to you in the hospital, were the most horrible in my entire life and I didn't waste a second to think about her. And then Rumpelstiltskin asked me if I'd rather Marian died than you I was about to say yes," he yelled the last words at her.

"I felt terrible, still do. I married her, because I loved her once, she was the mother of my son, but in that very second. I couldn't think of anything but you. I wanted you to live! I choose you. I killed Marian as much as you did. You killed her in another life? Well, I don't bloody care, that's the kind of person that I am. I want you. I'm a selfish bastard."

Hi breathing was heavy, he had grabbed her by the arm and Regina had trouble breathing with the intensity of his gaze on her. She wanted to tell him, that it changed nothing, that she didn't deserve happiness but it kept getting harder to find a reason to refuse. Why did she refuse in the first place?

"Fine!" Robin had tried long enough to play nice. He wanted her, he wanted to make her happy and he knew that he could. He truly was a bastard. "Fine! You want to hear it? Yes, you are right. You killed my wife, you took my son's mother. Now you must take responsibility for that! Become my wife and the mother of my son."

It was wrong – probably, Regina thought somewhere in the haziness of her mind. It was wrong because she shouldn't get turned on by that, shouldn't fall in love with him even more after he basically guilt-trapped, forced her to come back to him. She really shouldn't, she should be disgusted by it, but she wasn't. It was because she finally understood – understood what draw her to him, understood what it meant to have a soulmate. They loved one another – not because of fate, not because of fairy dust or congeniality, not because of tattoos and timing – but because they understood each other. Truly and completely.

She didn't know when she had moved to kiss him, much like their first time in Storybrooke. She had grabbed him by his shirt and kissed him. Because she believed him, believed that he understood. He understood the darkness in her heart. The fear that was always present since the day Marian came back washed away. Robin wouldn't just get up and leave her someday, at least not because he'd be disgusted with her dark and damaged heart.

Maybe it was sick and twisted, because it took him blackmailing her with what she'd once done, for her to allow herself to fall for him one more time. But he understood and maybe he even shared a part of the darkness. He had used her past not against her but for her, it was the first time anyone had ever done that.

He kissed her back with all the pent up desire and hunger he had accumulated. Every sense was overwhelmed with her, every cell in his body focused on her, revelled in the feeling of having her in his arms again. When they broke apart to gasp for air, their breathing was irregular and their eyes locked with intensity. He didn't give her more than a second, his body urged against hers, his hands wandered. It had been so long and they had missed each other so bad. She was up against the wall, her finger nails leaving marks even through his shirt.

"Robin…" Regina fought for air.

His blue eyes flashed and he looked at her.

"What?" he growled. "What the bloody hell is it this time? Because, if you decided again that this won't work I swear…"

She pressed her lips against his to shut him up, "I only wanted to suggest we may lock the door."

R&R

It was late in the evening when Robin and Regina emerged from the basement.

"Robin," Regina swatted his hand away laughing. "Behave yourself. We are not alone in the house."

In a desperate attempt to look less like the mess she currently was, Regina smoothed down her wrinkled clothes, she had given up any and all attempts at her mused up hair. Currently she was wondering how she could reach her room without anyone noticing.

"Regina! There you are," Regina stopped all movements and muttered a curse. Robin chuckled next to her.

"Snow? What do you want?" she asked the young woman.

"Henry was so excited about the tree house. We couldn't pass up the opportunity to see for ourselves. David couldn't keep himself from helping," she rolled her eyes. "The chainsaw, you know."

"Of course… Would you like to stay for dinner?" Regina found herself compelled to ask at Snow's huge hopeful eyes. Damn it, she was getting soft.

Snow beamed at her and Regina was regretting having invited her. She was about to turn when she saw the cheerful expression on the princess' face.

"What?"

A mischievous smile appeared on Snow's face as she let her eyes roam over Regina's appearance, her eyes stayed on Regina's neck for a second, "Nothing, absolutely nothing."

Regina huffed and stalked upstairs to shower and change.

Snow helped with the dinner while all the men, including Robin and the children, waited outside for their turn with the saw.

Regina didn't like to admit, but the light atmosphere between Snow and her was something she was grateful for… it made her feel warm inside. Snow called them in for dinner, and Regina somehow managed to find more chairs, so that everyone had a place to sit.

The table felt silent as Regina sat down and she narrowed her eyes at everyone. It was John who broke the silence.

"Was about damn time!" He clapped Robin on his back and took a bite from his plate.

It took Regina a few moments to put the indications together, most of them men looked at her with a scrutiny similar to Snow just after… Regina's hands wandered to her throat. No way, that was something she should have seen in the mirror.

Regina sucked the air in sharply, "No, you didn't!"

A hickey?! What was he, a bloody teenager?

Robin focused his gaze entirely on the plate before him and avoided Regina's general direction. She could have sworn she saw one of those goddamned sly smirks.

Snow wasn't able to stifle her giggle fast enough, which made Regina's deadly gaze turn do her. Then the Queen had to smirk herself.

"Oh, whatever," she sighed. "Eat!"

R&R

She had known she wouldn't be able to keep the secret of her vanished magic to herself forever, but she had hoped for a little more time. It happened during the tree house warming party, and like always it was Emma's fault. Regina had been teaching her and Emma became more and more sure of how to use her magic. And she was powerful, probably more so than Regina had ever been, but she was also uncontrollable and cocky.

Robin was responsible for the barbeque and Regina had outdone herself at the buffet.

"Regina, you have to share the recipe for this potato salad with me," Snow White groaned in delight. "It's amazing. I could eat only that.

Regina thanked her and joined Robin at the open fire.

"What can I get you, Milady?" Robin asked with a smile and smoothed a strand of black hair behind her ears.

"Nothing, I'm full. I just wanted to see if maybe I relieve you from your duty, so you may eat something as well."

Robin raised an eyebrow, "You don't seriously think, I haven't eaten yet. I've been eating all the time. Besides, the minute I leave my place here, at least five of the Merry Men will fight over the position as barbeque master and then I'll never get it back."

"You're just like a child," Regina rolled her eyes.

With a dramatic gesture Robin held his chest, "You wound me deeply, Your Majesty."

She shook her head in silent laughter and he pulled her closer, "Did I tell you how absolutely stunning you look again today."

Regina's heart fluttered and she smiled in his shoulder – which she could easily reach thanks to her high heels. She was busy flirting with Robin and therefore didn't witness how the next thing that happened started out.

A hard wind seized the fire and the flames surged up. Startled Robin shoved Regina behind him.

"Emma! Stop this wind!" Snow tried to reach her daughter, who had apparently performed a magical experiment.

"I can't! I don't know how I did that! That wasn't supposed to happen!" Emma screamed back over the howling of the wind.

The storm was picking up its pace and Snow looked around in worry. The buffet table and the chairs were fallen over.

"The tree house!" Henry's yell made Snow look up. She gasped, the fire had already taken possession of a part of the tree house and it wouldn't be long and it would spread further.

Snow twirled around, David who held Neal tightly pressed into his chest was making his way over to her.

"Regina…" the Queen didn't react and Snow's voice got louder. "Regina, stop it! Help Emma stop it."

Regina opened her mouth as if to say something. But she didn't move. Snow ran over to her, "Regina, you have to stop the fire and the wind!"

Robin pulled her to his side and put his arm around her waist. "Emma is your daughter. If she can't control her magic, she shouldn't use it," he bit out harshly. Why should Regina get blamed for this?

With one last glance at Regina, he turned to his Merry Men and bellowed out order. They started putting out the fire.

"Done!" Emma breathed a sigh of relief. At least she had stopped the wind.

"Emma, the fire!" David yelled, but the helpless look in her eyes told him all he needed to know.

By now everyone's eyes were on the Queen, who looked around with haunted eyes.

"What is going on here?" the fire disappeared and Gold's annoyed voice resonated in the garden.

"Sorry, that was on me," Emma looked around guiltily.

"Regina? What the hell! Why didn't you stop the fire?" David asked angrily.

Snow could feel the change in atmosphere. Every single one of the Merry Men stepped closer to Regina and every single one of them – including Robin – was ready to draw their weapons at any given moment. Snow had never realised until now, but in retro perspective she should have wondered why they started to carry about their weapons again -even when they were in town. Robin didn't leave the house without his trusted bow and arrows and there was always at least one of the men with Regina. The puzzle pieces fell into place. They were protecting her because…

"You've lost your magic."

Regina took a step back, her eyes darted around the garden. Robin's finger's tingled but he stayed where he was. Regina was a strong women and he knew she wouldn't appreciate him fighting her battles for him. At least not unless he absolutely had do.

"When did this happen?" Snow had a very distinct idea when.

"That's none of your business," Regina recovered her poise. She stalked over to Snow and was once again grateful for her high heels; they enabled her to look down on Snow.

"Oh, Regina," before Regina could even move, Snow had already hugged her close.

Robin choked off his laughter. Regina's glare told him clearly he'd be in trouble later anyway. He hadn't been able to supress his grin.

"I'm so sorry. Are you fine? Does it hurt? Is there something we can do?" Snow shot out question after question, but stepped back from Regina, who could finally breathe again.

Regina was about to retort with a snappish comment, but held herself back. There were children present.

"Thanks Snow, but everything is fine. If maybe you couldn't make a big deal out of it," she said instead and was every bit the regal Queen. "Oh, and please, do not start to cry."

Gold shook his head, "Back to my question. What happened here? I thought you taught her control of her magic?"

Rueful Emma looked to the side, "I just wanted to show Henry how to make a mini-storm in my hand."

Regina rolled her eyes, "I thought we talked about this. This kind of magic is still too difficult for you."

"It worked yesterday."

"Well, next time you better listen," Regina remarked and took a look at the damaged tree house.

"We'll patch that up in now time," Robin comforted the crushed blonde and gestured to his men.

It wasn't long and the men talked shop about how to best repair the tree house. Grumpy especially seemed to have a very distinct idea and his voice boomed over the garden.

Regina's secret had been revealed, Gold thought. He was actually surprise it had lasted as long as it had. His eyes searched for those of the Queen. Now that her secret was no longer a secret , he wondered if she'd still keep his. He couldn't tell Belle, couldn't give her the real dagger, he couldn't risk breaking his curse. He had enemies , lots of them and without his power they'd be powerless, useless to protect Belle. He was nothing without his powers, a weakling. Belle accepted his dark side, (even fell for it, when she lost her memory), but maybe not the weak, scared men. The one he hated more than the Dark One on the worst days.

Regina's brown eyes found his and she gave him a curt nod. She'd keep his secret, but still she was sure, it wouldn't end well. It wasn't her business anyway.

R&R

* * *

**Tell me what you think!**


	15. New Arrivals

**at super-heroine-addict: Yes, it's kind of my favourite thing. Thanks for reviewing.**

**at** **Casey**: **Thanks. And yes, the town most definitely knows, but then she does have a lot of people protecting her, besides I don't think Regina will ever be the damsel in distress.**

**at pt159: Yes, I kind of love the Merry Men. Sorry in advance about the side story... Haven't really planned that going on in this story. I hope you're not too disappointed.**

**at Thornspike: Good to know I wasn't the only one who thought that was funny. Glad you liked it and thanks for reviewing.**

**at shikasgirl10: Thanks a lot. I think the Merry Men are the type to do that.**

**at Breniah: Thanks a lot. I had hoped it hadn'tbeen done before :)**

**So... suprise, but this is the last chapter. I hadn't really planed further ahead but if the new season inspires me, I might continue.**

**I hope you all enjoy it.**

**Thanks for reading and reviewing.**

**I don't own anything.**

* * *

**New Arrivals**

Robin smiled down at Regina softly. It wasn't often that he woke up before her. Usually he'd wake up to the delicious smell of coffee and beacon. When he'd then make his way downstairs he'd find some of his Merry Men already seated at the kitchen table and Regina with a coffee in her hand leaning against the kitchen table. She'd hand him a cuppa and greet him with a kiss, then he'd take a plate of food and would sit down as well. He'd insist on her eating as well and then Regina would pull out a chair, heave a sigh and took a seat next to him. She'd steal food from his plate and when she'd finish they wake up the boys. She'd repeatedly try to wake Henry, while he'd make sure Roland was ready for school. She'd drive the children to school and drop him off at the sheriff station, where he worked with Emma and David, and go to work.

That had been their routine developed in the past few months. Even on the weekends Regina was up before him.

But not today. Gently he swept a lock of her raven her from her face. He could get used to that. Waking up before her, Robin decided, had most certainly some perks. She was relaxed, without her make-up and her resolute posture she looked much younger. She was about to wake up, Robin realised, her body turned towards him completely and her face scrunched up a bit, when the motion caused some hair to tickle her nose. Her fingers grazed over his chest lazily and she breathed him in deeply. Robin got hot and his stomach fluttered. Did she do this every morning?

"Good morning," he murmured when her eyes fluttered open.

"G'morning… Have you been awake for long?" she asked sleepily.

He glanced at the clock and realised that he had spent more than half an hour watching her sleep… not that he was about to tell her that. Robin shook his head.

"When does Henry come back?" Robin asked. The boy had spent the week with Emma.

Regina shrugged, "I'd say sometime tonight."

"Mmhh… alright," he kissed her shoulder and pushed the strap of her dark red silken nightgown down.

Regina groaned silently and melted against him, "We really should get up and make breakfast."

"Yes, we should," Robin agreed his breath hot against her collarbone.

He kissed his way up her throat and once their lips met in their first soft kiss, breakfast was forgotten.

Suddenly Robin's head shot up. He had heard some noise in front of their door. The door opened slowly and Roland tumbled in. He didn't see his parents were already awake and Regina had to supress her urge to laugh at how endearing Roland tried to close the door behind him quietly. The tip of his tongue sneaked out between his lips due to all the concentration.

"Good morning, mama," he finally looked up and his face lightened up. He stormed through the room and scrambled on the bed.

"What? I don't get a good morning?" Robin asked pouting.

Roland giggled and leaned over Regina to give his papa a wet kiss on the cheek. Then Roland decided that he wanted to be next to both his parent, he climbed over his mama and fell in between them. They spend the next hour cuddling and giggling and Roland laughed so loud, none of them heard the footsteps on the stairs.

The door flew open and the bed squeaked when another mop of brown hair joined them in bed.

"Henry, you're here early!" Regina smiled happily and kissed her eldest son's forehead.

"Yep," Henry let the 'p' pop. "Gram and Gran suggested we all go eat Bruch together. They're waiting downstairs with mum."

"Yuhu!" downstairs my arse. Snow White stood in the door frame (Henry had let the door open), her son in his arms. "Are we interrupting anything?"

Before Regina could even open her mouth to retort, the rest of the Charming Family had already invaded her bed room. This family really didn't know the concept of personal space.

"Well, now doesn't this look cosy…" Emma smirked and winked at Henry. The teenager grinned back.

"No! Henry! Emma!" Regina sat up and glared at the blonde. "Don't even think about it!"

Snow stepped up as well, her eyes filled with mischief.

"No, not you as well," Regina's protest went ignored. And next thing she knew, three Charmings allowed themselves to flop onto her bed (huge as it was Regina was not happy about the addition).

David shook his head watching the escapades of his two most important women in his life, who had even involved his innocent son.

Snow smiled at him invitingly and in the end David shrugged, then he joined his extended family by laying his head in his wife's lap.

They had gotten close during the last six months, sure… but this was a tad too close for comfort. Regina groaned, "Such things wouldn't have happened to me as the Evil Queen."

"Just be happy Emma left the pirate at home," Robin remarked dryly and winked at Regina.

Regina sighed heavily. She had Henry in one arm and Roland snuggled into the other. Her head was still lying on Robin's arm, Robin in turn was resting next to Roland. Emma leaned against Henry's knees with Neal in her lap, leaning on the blonde's shoulder was Regina's step-daughter and David was spread crosswise with his head on her lap, while she ran his fingers through them.

"Your bed is huge! We all fit in here comfortably! Where did you get it? I might get one too…" Emma shifted into a more comfortable position. Yes, such a bed would do nicely.

"We fit in here still, but…" Robin muttered which got him an angry look from Regina.

Robin grimaced, that one just slipped past his lips.

Of course Snow had heard him, she tilted her head to the side in interest, "What do you mean by that?"

"Nothing, he means nothing," Regina tossed in quickly.

Snow's eyes narrowed, her gaze wandered from Regina's face to her belly and back to her face. Regina groaned internally, of course Snow would figure it out.

She squealed and bit her lips in excitement, "Oh Regina! Congratulations!"

The whole bed creaked and quaked as Snow threw herself in Regina's arms.

"Wha…?! What's going on?" David was ripped from his meditative trance, in which the fingers of his wife had carried him, very rudely.

"Regina's pregnant!" Snow cheered and ignored Regina's sinister look.

"Really?" Henry and Emma jolted up and suddenly everyone was talking at once.

In the end it was Robin who got everyone to calm down.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Henry asked pouting.

"We were going to," Regina shot Robin a sour look, "but someone couldn't wait that long."

Robin had the decency to look ashamed.

"How many weeks are you along?" Snow asked curiously. Regina had stopped wearing her tight dresses and suits but Snow had never actively looked for signs of a pregnancy.

"Fourteen," Regina said in resignation.

"Oh, how lovely. Neal will have someone to play with."

"Two someone's," Robin grinned proudly.

"Twins?!" Snow asked in delight. "That's amazing."

"Mama?"

Regina leaned down to face Roland.

"I don't understand."

Regina had to smile at his confusion, Robin pulled Roland into his lap, "Your mama is pregnant and you will soon be a big brother. You get a little sister and a little brother."

Snow squealed silently at the new information and Henry hugged his mum tightly.

"Where are they?" Roland asked with wide eyes.

"In there!" Regina took his tiny hand and put it on her belly.

Roland frowned. His gaze went from his mother's face to her belly and back again. His mouth fell open in shock, "How did they get in there?"

6 months later

"I feel so left out," Henry complained while rocking his little sister softly.

Regina smiled at him from the hospital bed, holding the second addition to the family. Next to her Robin sat on the bed, Roland on his lap. Regina was still tired from the exertions of the previous day.

"Henry, you do know it means nothing," and truthfully the thought hadn't even occurred to Regina until Henry had mentioned it.

"But your names all start with 'R'," Henry pouted, "Robin, Regina, Roland and now Ronja and Ryder. That's not fair!"

He didn't really feel left out, but didn't waste a single opportunity to annoy his mother with it.

Robin chuckled next to her and she felt the vibrations shooting through body. She relaxed against his warm body and enjoyed the touch of his hand. His thumb drew circles on her upper arm and he kept peppering kisses to her temple or her cheek or her forehead, basically every part of her he could reach.

"You are stunning in every way, have I told you that today?" Robin whispered in her ear.

"More than once," Regina reminded him.

He grinned back, "Well, Milady, it's the truth."

Out of the corner of his eyes Robin watched how fascinated Roland was by the tiny creature that had been introduced to him as his little brother. Carefully Roland extracted one hand and very very slowly and cautiously he stroke over Ryder's tiny hand. The baby yawned and opened his soft hand, Roland withdrew his hand quickly, but at his father's encouragement laid a finger in the infant's hand. Almost immediately his finger was caught in a surprisingly tight grip. Wide eyed Roland looked to his parents.

"He's so small," Roland whispered.

Henry agreed seriously, "Yes, they are. And that's why we have to protect them and watch over them. We are their elder brothers."

Eagerly Roland nodded and his eyes fell back to the bundle in his mother's arms and filled with determination. Regina blinked away the tears.

"Would you like to hold Ryder?" she asked with a shaking voice.

Expectantly Roland sat up straighter and held out his arms. Carefully Regina transferred Ryder into Roland's arms. "You have to support the head," she explained, "they cannot do that yet."

Roland nodded and concentrated hard to do everything right. Henry sat down on the other side of his mother with Ronja in his arms.

Two minutes later there was a knock on the door and Snow stuck her head in, "Hello! How are the new arrivals doing?"

Regina rolled her eyes, "You've waited surprisingly long."

"Believe me, it almost killed her," David entered after his wife and of course Emma followed with Neal.

Robin beamed at them, "May I introduce? These are Ronja and Ryder," he exclaimed proudly.

"Ah, you stick with the 'R' then," Emma remarked instantly.

"See!" Henry pouted again and Regina groaned.

For the second time in her life Regina found herself in the middle of a bed filled with people.

"Would you be so kind as to leave my hospital bed? I did just give birth," Regina asked in annoyance.

"Oh, come on, Regina. We all know you enjoy it," Snow smirked.

"Absolutely not!" Regina said with all the conviction she was able to muster.

"Oh! It's quite busy in here," Belle said surprised. Her knock having been swallowed up by the noise. Gold followed closely by.

"Hi Grandpa!" Henry waved at them from the bed.

"We've just met Tinkerbell. She said she was going to come by later, said she'd have to get something first," Belle said. "My best guess is that she'll bring you two giant teddy bears."

"I don't care," Regina mumbled. "Just as long as you two stay where you are and away from my bed."

Gold smiled his typical smile, "You know me so well." He raised both brows to indicate there was nothing that would ever make him consider joining the family on the bed.

Regina looked intently at him and Gold averted his eyes… He hadn't told her yet. Regina sighed, that was bound to come back and bite them.

The Gold's didn't stay very long, but Tinkerbell replaced them almost immediately. Just as Belle had suspected Tinkerbell did not only carry two huge teddy bears, but also a smaller one for Roland and a new computer game for Henry.

The Charmings took Roland and Henry with them for a sleep-over party. Regina was supposed to stay for another night at the hospital and of course Robin had insisted on staying with her. The twins were asleep in their beds. Regina watched them with her head resting on the bed. She simply looked at her two wonders. Robin shifted to sit behind her comfortably, his fingers ghosted over her ribcage.

"Regina, what's wrong?"

"I don't deserve this. None of it," she whispered and her fingers fluttered over the dark hair of her daughter.

Robin was about to object but experience showed that the effect was less than satisfactory. "You know, that I don't believe that, Regina. You deserve all the happiness in the world, but even if not, even if it's true and you don't deserve it… it doesn't change that you have it."

Regina shook her head, "I'm so afraid," her voice was shaking. "What if I lose you again? All of you?"

Robin tightened his hold on her waist, "You never lost me and you never will."

Still she shared her insecurities with him, that was a huge step for her and he was grateful for her openness with him had returned.

"But I could lose you. When Marian came back… I…" she kept her gaze on her children.

They never talked about it, not really. Robin didn't want to start; terrified Regina may take it the wrong way and pull away from him.

Her eyes were strictly restricted to the twins, "It was just like back then. It felt like I lost everything and…" she wasn't able to put it into words.

Robin pulled her closer and hooked a finger under her chin to make her look at him.

"I know what you felt. I felt the same way about you, I thought I would lose you. When Marian came back it was a shock and I…"

"Robin I would never rebuke you about it," her fingers tangled in his hair. "It's just that… I wouldn't survive it if it happened again. Something happens… something always happens. And I don't have any magic."

"You won't need magic," he promised.

In silence they sat, looking down at their beautiful children.

"Marry me?"

Regina tensed in a way that Robin was painfully used to. In the past six months he had asked her four times to become his wife – she had declined every time.

"Regina, look at me. I know you don't want to do anything that'll make it seem as if you're replacing Marian, but truly it's you I want to be with."

"But we don't need to marry to…"

Robin sighed, "You don't understand do you? The only reason I'm allowed in here is because I'm the father. Remember when you collapsed?" His fingers flexed and his jaw clenched, he hated to think about that time, hated the helplessness he experienced back then.

"The doctor wouldn't tell me anything because I wasn't family. Regina, I want to be your family, officially. Can't you understand? I love you and I chose you, always."

Regina looked from him to their children. She did understand, she did want to be part of his family, only she didn't want to stay in comparison to his first wife. It terrified her to think she'd have to compete with such a pure, bright heart.

Her fears had always overwhelmed her. They had always kept her in their tight grasp. Maybe it was time to overcome them.

R&R

He twirled the dagger in his fingers.

_Rumpelstiltskin_

His name was engraved in it. Mocking him with its presence. A curse… that's what it was. Being the Dark One, but whether it was a bad one or a good one… he wasn't sure till this day.

It had made him stronger, powerful, brave but not even Rumpelstiltskin was able to deny it had taken his humanity. Then he had met Belle and slowly his humanity returned, but never fully. Never would - not until his curse was broken.

Rumpelstiltskin stared down at the name, his name. What should he do?

If he gave in, gave his heart to Belle completely and let go of his power, he'd be human again. Back to the spineless man he once was. He didn't know if Belle would still love that man.

On the other hand, he was immortal while she would die someday. He didn't know what to do in a world without her.

The light reflected on the dagger as he turned it again.

He had a decision to make.

R&R

No one was there to see the black sails appear on the horizon in the middle of the night. No one was there to see the big ship sailing towards Storybrooke's harbour. Commands were yelled on deck but the town was sleeping.

"We're landing!"

The ship stopped and a tall man emerged from below deck. The respect that he was met with, the aura of danger rolling off of him in waves proved that he was the captain.

His dark eyes smouldered with fire and dark black dreadlocks fell into his face despite the white broad headband.

"Storybrooke," a vicious grin spread over his face, the scar that marred his left eye convulsed with the movement.

The men at deck took a fearful step back. Then the ship started to sway more and more heavy with the waves, though the wind didn't pick up its pace. A single jet of water rose next to the ship and the men shifted more and more afraid.

A creature, a woman and yet not human looked down on them, sitting enthroned on top of the water. Her silver hair was slacked back and she turned her body, more octopus than human towards the ship.

"You are certain it's here?"

He answered with a grimness that did not fit the smile on his face, "Ursula, of course I am sure. Would I ever lie to you?"

The creature looked at him with distaste, "You're a lowly pirate. I brought you here, my part of the deal is done. You will bring me the pearl of the seven seas or my vengeance will be horrible – Sindbad!"

She disappeared below the water's surface and the sea calmed. Nothing was left to remind of the goddess of the sea. Only the ship with black sails was still lurking in the waters.

…. Things were never quiet in Storybrooke, Maine.

* * *

**So for the last time: Tell me what you think!**


End file.
